Abusive relationships??? - GoFuckYourself.com

fatal attraction · 09-29-2004, 09:08 PM

Abusive relationships??? Can they really change???? Thanks for your input on this.

fris · 09-29-2004, 09:09 PM

there you are , i was worried about you

havent seen you online

Screaming · 09-29-2004, 09:09 PM

well they can but it isnt likely, abusive is something in the mental workings of a person and that is hard to change

Vitasoy · 09-29-2004, 09:17 PM

You need to be on the Dr.Phil show. He can help ya.

fatal attraction · 09-29-2004, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fris
there you are , i was worried about you havent seen you online

I'm around....just been dealing with some family issues! and hurricanes. LOL
Thanks for worrying about me!!!!

fatal attraction · 09-29-2004, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vitasoy
You need to be on the Dr.Phil show. He can help ya.

I never said it was about me....just curious

Babagirls · 09-29-2004, 09:56 PM

physical abuse....doubtful

mental abuse, yes but with heavy consouling.

fatal attraction · 09-29-2004, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
physical abuse....doubtful

mental abuse, yes but with heavy consouling.

I should have clarified that...physical abuse. No one had any experience with that situation???

chase · 09-29-2004, 10:03 PM

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that this thread was started by "fatal attraction"?
But anyways...it's unlikely for a physically abusive partner to stop...I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "Oh, My lover USED to hit me, but he doesn't anymore."
Typically it escalates until either the victim leaves, someone steps in, or someone winds up dead.

reynold · 09-29-2004, 10:04 PM

Abusive relationship something that some people hate to happen

rhon23 · 09-29-2004, 10:05 PM

Once an abuser always an abuser.

mookienow · 09-29-2004, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chase
Am I the only one who finds it ironic that this thread was started by "fatal attraction"?
But anyways...it's unlikely for a physically abusive partner to stop...I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "Oh, My lover USED to hit me, but he doesn't anymore."
Typically it escalates until either the victim leaves, someone steps in, or someone winds up dead.

Its too bad people can't put themselves into check, we have a tendency to be critical of everyone else while we see nothing wrong with ourselves. It takes a lot of training for a person to change, but in order for that to take effect they would first have to recognize there are issues or that there is a problem. Basicly the point I am getting at is even if it gets to the level of court involvement and treatment is ordered, it most likely will not change anything after the therapy has ended.

Lace · 09-29-2004, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fatal attraction
Abusive relationships??? Can they really change???? Thanks for your input on this.

No.....Hit me up on icq hun!!!

chase · 09-29-2004, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mookienow

Its too bad people can't put themselves into check, we have a tendency to be critical of everyone else while we see nothing wrong with ourselves. It takes a lot of training for a person to change, but in order for that to take effect they would first have to recognize there are issues or that there is a problem.

You really hit the nail on the head there....It's the same as drug abuse, or eating disorders...as long as the person in question is rationalizing their behavior to avoid responsibility or admission of a problem, there can be no resolution. But having the strength to lift the blinders and see the situation clearly is a major step towards healing.

Drake · 09-29-2004, 10:14 PM

This question coming from somebody nicknamed 'Fatal Attraction'

I think those relationships are doomed and rarely change.

MandyBlake · 09-29-2004, 10:16 PM

I don't think physically abusice relationships can change.

fatal attraction · 09-29-2004, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chase
Am I the only one who finds it ironic that this thread was started by "fatal attraction"?
But anyways...it's unlikely for a physically abusive partner to stop...I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "Oh, My lover USED to hit me, but he doesn't anymore."
Typically it escalates until either the victim leaves, someone steps in, or someone winds up dead.

I'm stuck with this nickname, on the boards!
Thanks your input....REALLY!! I think I needed to hear those words "or someone winds up dead" to remind me.

chase · 09-29-2004, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fatal attraction
I'm stuck with this nickname, on the boards!
Thanks your input....REALLY!! I think I needed to hear those words "or someone winds up dead" to remind me.

One of my best girlfriends is in a bad relationship..he's doing the classic things...separating her from family, then friends...making her embarrassed to tell anyone what's going on...blaming her for his actions...always apologizing after an attack and promising never to do it again...acting jealous and possessive...always accusing her of lying or cheating. It's textbook, and I have talked to her, shown her statistics, pointed out that if she got pregnant, it would probably get worse and hurt or kill her baby...asked her if she would want anybody she loves in that kind of relationship...but she doesn't ever leave for more than a few days. It's a sickness. On both sides. The abuser has to be in control and wield the power, and the victim feels like if she only shows him she loves him by staying, she can change or fix him. It's horrible to watch, because the helplessness breaks your heart, and if the worst does happen, everybody who knew how bad it was will never forgive themselves for not doing SOMETHING...even though there is little, if anything, they could have done..
I hope everything works out for you or whomever the question was in reference to. <hugs>

Ian_GDM · 09-29-2004, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rhon23
Once an abuser always an abuser.

Unfortunately "Once abused always abused" also tends to be the case. Many victims are serial victims and go from one bad partner to the next ignoring all the advice of their friends and loved ones. Abusers never seem to have trouble finding partners and there a plenty of nice guys who could not get a date to save their lives. If you have a taste for assholes there are more than enough out there willing to accommodate you.

siccmade · 09-29-2004, 10:38 PM

Nah

The lil mexican dude downstairs has been beating his bitch since I moved into these apartments over a year ago.

Today she got up with the new neighbor across the hall from me and on a fiend-move she ended up selling three of her end tables, her coffee table, her boyfriends microwave and before asking me for a ride to get the hell out of dodge, she sold her couch.

Sometimes they deserve to get it

beemk · 09-29-2004, 11:11 PM

sometimes you just gotta keep a bitch in line.....

haha just kidding but really i dont think that they will change.

MikeHawk · 09-29-2004, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fatal attraction
Abusive relationships??? Can they really change???? Thanks for your input on this.

Ok, on this one, got a few years under my belt, and have had some amazing fucked up relationships, saying that, I am a firm believer that it is hard, both have to be willing to have a common RESPECT for each other!

With out RESPECT you have nothing....

Major (Tom) · 09-29-2004, 11:29 PM

Like this kind of abuse?

lol
Duke

korzon · 09-29-2004, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vitasoy
You need to be on the Dr.Phil show. He can help ya.

dr phil is just what you need

MikeHawk · 09-29-2004, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DukeSkywalker

Like this kind of abuse?

lol
Duke

fatal attraction · 09-30-2004, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DukeSkywalker

Like this kind of abuse?

lol
Duke

No, not that kinda abuse......she knew what SHE was getting into!!!! She was getting paid to be there!

09-29-2004, 09:08 PM	#1
fatal attraction Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: where ever he is! Posts: 6,522	Abusive relationships??? Abusive relationships??? Can they really change???? Thanks for your input on this.

09-29-2004, 09:09 PM	#2
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	there you are , i was worried about you havent seen you online __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

09-29-2004, 09:09 PM	#3
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	well they can but it isnt likely, abusive is something in the mental workings of a person and that is hard to change __________________

09-29-2004, 09:17 PM	#4
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	You need to be on the Dr.Phil show. He can help ya. __________________ [email protected]

09-29-2004, 09:56 PM	#7
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	physical abuse....doubtful mental abuse, yes but with heavy consouling. __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

09-29-2004, 10:03 PM	#9
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	Am I the only one who finds it ironic that this thread was started by "fatal attraction"? But anyways...it's unlikely for a physically abusive partner to stop...I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "Oh, My lover USED to hit me, but he doesn't anymore." Typically it escalates until either the victim leaves, someone steps in, or someone winds up dead. __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

09-29-2004, 10:04 PM	#10
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Abusive relationship something that some people hate to happen

09-29-2004, 10:05 PM	#11
rhon23 Rebel Girl Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Island Of Misfit Toys Posts: 3,270	Once an abuser always an abuser.

09-29-2004, 10:14 PM	#15
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	This question coming from somebody nicknamed 'Fatal Attraction' I think those relationships are doomed and rarely change.

09-29-2004, 10:16 PM	#16
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	I don't think physically abusice relationships can change. __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

09-29-2004, 10:38 PM	#20
siccmade Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Canton, Ohio Posts: 1,641	Nah The lil mexican dude downstairs has been beating his bitch since I moved into these apartments over a year ago. Today she got up with the new neighbor across the hall from me and on a fiend-move she ended up selling three of her end tables, her coffee table, her boyfriends microwave and before asking me for a ride to get the hell out of dodge, she sold her couch. Sometimes they deserve to get it __________________ Adult XXX Hits - Adult Traffic Exchange. Get free traffic!

09-29-2004, 11:11 PM	#21
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	sometimes you just gotta keep a bitch in line..... haha just kidding but really i dont think that they will change. __________________ I host with Vacares

09-29-2004, 11:29 PM	#23
Major (Tom) White Pride Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Null Posts: 30,982	Like this kind of abuse? lol Duke __________________ WHITE LIVES MATTER