Black Market Babies - GoFuckYourself.com

robbi · 08-02-2001, 11:52 AM

Quote:

There is Nothing Wrong With a Free Monkey!

We have received several complaints from customers complaining that they ordered babies for Christmas and were accidentally shipped monkeys instead.

There is an explanation for this problem: we became aware in mid-December that our supply of healthy babies would not satisfy the high demand associated with the holiday season. As a purely temporary measure, we acquired several dozen monkeys and shipped them to our customers whose babies were not going to be ready in time for Christmas. As soon as the real, human babies are ready, we will ship them out in replacement for the monkeys. No one will be charged extra for this service!

These monkeys were specifically screened for cuteness and their resemblance to human beings. We apologize for any confusion our decision may have caused, but we are essentially giving you free monkeys, some of them endangered species and quite expensive. You didn't used to have a monkey; now you do. We really don't understand what you're so upset about. Please quit complaining. You will get a cute human baby soon enough.

In many ways, monkeys are just as good or even better than a human baby. They can jump and frolic, etc., and can be trained to perform tricks long before a human child can. If necessary, a small child can be tricked into believing that a monkey is his or her new brother or sister. Then, when the new baby arrives, simply switch it out. Usually, the older child will not notice any difference at all. If the older child does ask why the new baby has suddenly changed shape, simply say, "No it hasn't. I don't know what you're talking about. You're just jealous that the new baby is getting all the attention." Then give the new baby all your attention.

In sum: we're sorry. Free monkey. Quit complaining. Thank you and happy holidays.

Sincerely,
the Black Market Enterprises Team

deluxe · 08-02-2001, 12:25 PM

LOL do they have a webmaster program???

50/50 partnership maby?

------------------
Make money at the speed of light! Unknown conversion ratios!
[email protected]
77717734

jimmy-3-way · 08-02-2001, 05:42 PM

Fuck me that's funny. I just ordered about ten tee shirts.

BigDaddy · 08-03-2001, 05:10 PM

Think of all the savings on tuition, CDs, cars, bail money... Of course monkeys are better.

Red · 08-03-2001, 05:25 PM

Is this my Robbi from Iceland?

Red

------------------
Eroticopy
Because porn does not live by pics alone

whoreans · 08-03-2001, 05:45 PM

hi robbi.. welcome to the board..

just wanted to be one of the first to tell ya to "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

have a good day

-tony

christy · 08-03-2001, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robbi:
http://www.black-market-babies.com

Quote:

There is Nothing Wrong With a Free Monkey!

We have received several complaints from customers complaining that they ordered babies for Christmas and were accidentally shipped monkeys instead.

There is an explanation for this problem: we became aware in mid-December that our supply of healthy babies would not satisfy the high demand associated with the holiday season. As a purely temporary measure, we acquired several dozen monkeys and shipped them to our customers whose babies were not going to be ready in time for Christmas. As soon as the real, human babies are ready, we will ship them out in replacement for the monkeys. No one will be charged extra for this service!

These monkeys were specifically screened for cuteness and their resemblance to human beings. We apologize for any confusion our decision may have caused, but we are essentially giving you free monkeys, some of them endangered species and quite expensive. You didn't used to have a monkey; now you do. We really don't understand what you're so upset about. Please quit complaining. You will get a cute human baby soon enough.

In many ways, monkeys are just as good or even better than a human baby. They can jump and frolic, etc., and can be trained to perform tricks long before a human child can. If necessary, a small child can be tricked into believing that a monkey is his or her new brother or sister. Then, when the new baby arrives, simply switch it out. Usually, the older child will not notice any difference at all. If the older child does ask why the new baby has suddenly changed shape, simply say, "No it hasn't. I don't know what you're talking about. You're just jealous that the new baby is getting all the attention." Then give the new baby all your attention.

In sum: we're sorry. Free monkey. Quit complaining. Thank you and happy holidays.

Sincerely,
the Black Market Enterprises Team

------------------------------

LOL, heh thats funny, especially " If the older child does ask why the new baby has suddenly changed shape, simply say, "No it hasn't. I don't know what you're talking about. You're just jealous that the new baby is getting all the attention." Then give the new baby all your attention. "

lol
----------------------------
http://www.smutcash.com

08-02-2001, 12:25 PM	#2
deluxe Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 1,434	LOL do they have a webmaster program??? 50/50 partnership maby? ------------------ Make money at the speed of light! Unknown conversion ratios! [email protected] 77717734

08-02-2001, 05:42 PM	#3
jimmy-3-way Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Transform my name to numbers it'd be 121058710. Posts: 3,861	Fuck me that's funny. I just ordered about ten tee shirts.

08-03-2001, 05:10 PM	#4
BigDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: State of Confusion Posts: 244	Think of all the savings on tuition, CDs, cars, bail money... Of course monkeys are better.

08-03-2001, 05:25 PM	#5
Red Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: nomad Posts: 518	Is this my Robbi from Iceland? Red ------------------ Eroticopy Because porn does not live by pics alone

08-03-2001, 05:45 PM	#6
whoreans Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Queens NY Posts: 1,407	hi robbi.. welcome to the board.. just wanted to be one of the first to tell ya to "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" have a good day -tony