Stupid Client Quote #3 - GoFuckYourself.com

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 09:31 AM

Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

johndoebob · 09-23-2004, 09:33 AM

Every day a new idiot gets up...

Fabuleux · 09-23-2004, 09:33 AM

Jakke PNG · 09-23-2004, 09:34 AM

Tell them to contact me when they find a solution, I want something like that too.

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 09:35 AM

Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

okny · 09-23-2004, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

I heard everything in this business but that's a first.

johndoebob · 09-23-2004, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

Designer: "Yeah, like a house or car..."

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 09:37 AM

"more fonts. use more fonts!"
"ummm... how many do you want?"
"how many do you have?"

Manowar · 09-23-2004, 09:37 AM

Client: We want the world
Designer: its imposible
Client: i'll take my business elsewhere

Fake Nick · 09-23-2004, 09:38 AM

the dumbest clients usually spend the most money

iFliPcEss · 09-23-2004, 09:39 AM

lol... i know this bizaare!

Havoc_on_fire · 09-23-2004, 09:39 AM

OMG... That is one for the book.. love it.

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 09:43 AM

we had a client who compained about the weight of banner adds, after a month of make
"it lighter"
we asked what she ment, her responce-
" 8 kilos is far to heavy for a banner add "

BRISK · 09-23-2004, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

BradM · 09-23-2004, 10:03 AM

This thread reminds me of my support days at a webtool company. Gives me a headache.

Indeed · 09-23-2004, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
"more fonts. use more fonts!"
"ummm... how many do you want?"
"how many do you have?"

FuckFind · 09-23-2004, 10:13 AM

I could go on for hours with these, but current project clients are great so no complaints here ( [B]1 and B2 represent).

FF

Basic_man · 09-23-2004, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

Rofl, fuckin' stupid !

Reak · 09-23-2004, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

Argoz · 09-23-2004, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

Tala · 09-23-2004, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
we had a client who compained about the weight of banner adds, after a month of make
"it lighter"
we asked what she ment, her responce-
" 8 kilos is far to heavy for a banner add "

Tricksy · 09-23-2004, 10:25 AM

So many idiots.....it's really funny!

Doc911 · 09-23-2004, 10:34 AM

client: we want our website to look like that website on the internet.

designer: which website is that?

client: you know the one that has all the pictures and stuff.

pradaboy · 09-23-2004, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
"more fonts. use more fonts!"
"ummm... how many do you want?"
"how many do you have?"

ROFL!

mary34d · 09-23-2004, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by johndoebob
Every day a new idiot gets up...

Love the sig

Nichebux_Tony · 09-23-2004, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

groark · 09-23-2004, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doomed
Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

wahahhaaa

punker barbie · 09-23-2004, 12:00 PM

thanks for the laugh doomed LOL freakin funny!

09-23-2004, 12:03 PM

I love when they ask for a service and I quote them....Then they say "It's really simple though... Can you just teach my son how to do it?".

V_RocKs · 09-23-2004, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shermsshack
I love when they ask for a service and I quote them....Then they say "It's really simple though... Can you just teach my son how to do it?".

Similar to my experience...

Client: How much will it cost for you to update our featured homes page?
Designer: About $20 per photo and $10 for the text.
Client: That is too expensive (mind you they will make about $2000 - $6000 per house), can you teach my son to do it for say, $50?

liquidmoe · 09-23-2004, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shermsshack
I love when they ask for a service and I quote them....Then they say "It's really simple though... Can you just teach my son how to do it?".

That's one I havent heard before, LOL

mammy · 09-23-2004, 12:08 PM

thats the funniest thread of the week

pornJester · 09-23-2004, 12:10 PM

lol, thank god i don't do freelance work anymore.

09-23-2004, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by liquidmoe
That's one I havent heard before, LOL

I got that the other day. I told the person I'm too busy with personal projects to take on anything extra. I got that response and I followed it with "And you think that will actually save me time?".

shima · 09-23-2004, 12:28 PM

here is ours Hall of Fame:
client: I dunno.. I don't like these colors
designer: hmm.. what colors would you like then?
client: try something, I dunno..

after some time..
client: try another font
designer: how would you like this to look? sharper, bolder, darker?
client: you could do it bolder and darker. But I don't like dark, you know?

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 12:28 PM

Client: (After viewing a sample of a multiple choice question)

Please change the "SUBMIT" button to "DONE".
Submit sounds too kinky.

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 12:31 PM

Direct quote...
"We want it to be black, but could you not make it so dark?"

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 12:33 PM

client:"Hey, did you test the site in Windows 98?"
me:"uh, yes. Why"
client:"well, the entire partner section doesn't show up."
me:"We pulled the partner section, remember?"
client:"Oh, yeah. We wanted it back in. Do you think the problem has anything to do with the fact that you used FrontPage?"
me:"we didn't use fron page."
client:"uh, we did."
me:"sorry, can't help you."

Babaganoosh · 09-23-2004, 12:39 PM

When I did tech support for an ISP/host:

Client: How do I "upload" files to my site? I don't know how to do that! ~~~LOL~~~

Me: Using your FTP client.

Client: I don't have any clients yet. My web design business is brand new.

Me: Huh?

Client: Where do I email my files to make them show up on my site?

Me: Let me transfer you to someone who can assist you with that.

Client: Thanks.

Me: (places call back in queue and heads outside for a smoke and a chuckle)

shima · 09-23-2004, 12:43 PM

I'm going to save this thread, I love it!

FrankWhite · 09-23-2004, 12:54 PM

Client: "I keep finding myself hitting the clear button instead of the submit button, and then the form clears out and I have to start all over again. Is there anything you can do to fix that?"

09-23-2004, 09:31 AM	#1
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	Stupid Client Quote #3 Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero." Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute." Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

09-23-2004, 09:33 AM	#2
johndoebob Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,405	Every day a new idiot gets up... __________________

09-23-2004, 09:34 AM	#4
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Tell them to contact me when they find a solution, I want something like that too. __________________ ..and I'm off.

09-23-2004, 10:25 AM	#22
Tricksy Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: USA Posts: 2,601	So many idiots.....it's really funny! __________________ Real-Bucks.com - Real Bucks for Real Webmasters.

09-23-2004, 10:34 AM	#23
Doc911 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: If i was up your ass you'd know Posts: 3,695	client: we want our website to look like that website on the internet. designer: which website is that? client: you know the one that has all the pictures and stuff. __________________ For PHP/MySQL scripts ICQ 161480555 or email [email protected]

09-23-2004, 09:33 AM	#3
Fabuleux Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,543	__________________

09-23-2004, 09:35 AM	#5
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..." Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

09-23-2004, 09:37 AM	#8
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	"more fonts. use more fonts!" "ummm... how many do you want?" "how many do you have?"

09-23-2004, 09:37 AM	#9
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	Client: We want the world Designer: its imposible Client: i'll take my business elsewhere

09-23-2004, 09:38 AM	#10
Fake Nick So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: go troll goo! Posts: 7,708	the dumbest clients usually spend the most money

09-23-2004, 09:39 AM	#11
iFliPcEss Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 3,087	lol... i know this bizaare!

09-23-2004, 09:39 AM	#12
Havoc_on_fire Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: TX Posts: 13	OMG... That is one for the book.. love it.

09-23-2004, 09:43 AM	#13
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	we had a client who compained about the weight of banner adds, after a month of make "it lighter" we asked what she ment, her responce- " 8 kilos is far to heavy for a banner add "

09-23-2004, 10:03 AM	#15
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	This thread reminds me of my support days at a webtool company. Gives me a headache.

09-23-2004, 10:13 AM	#17
FuckFind Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,188	I could go on for hours with these, but current project clients are great so no complaints here ( [B]1 and B2 represent). FF

09-23-2004, 12:00 PM	#28
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,228	thanks for the laugh doomed LOL freakin funny! __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

09-23-2004, 12:03 PM	#29
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	I love when they ask for a service and I quote them....Then they say "It's really simple though... Can you just teach my son how to do it?".

09-23-2004, 12:08 PM	#32
mammy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 2,279	thats the funniest thread of the week __________________ million dollars for paysite design icq 434954667

09-23-2004, 12:10 PM	#33
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	lol, thank god i don't do freelance work anymore. __________________ FreshBucks \| Webmaster Vault \| GayAW Trusted Names in Adult. ICQ 9157.3698

09-23-2004, 12:28 PM	#35
shima Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Office, as usual Posts: 1,753	here is ours Hall of Fame: client: I dunno.. I don't like these colors designer: hmm.. what colors would you like then? client: try something, I dunno.. after some time.. client: try another font designer: how would you like this to look? sharper, bolder, darker? client: you could do it bolder and darker. But I don't like dark, you know?

09-23-2004, 12:31 PM	#37
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	Direct quote... "We want it to be black, but could you not make it so dark?"

09-23-2004, 12:33 PM	#38
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	client:"Hey, did you test the site in Windows 98?" me:"uh, yes. Why" client:"well, the entire partner section doesn't show up." me:"We pulled the partner section, remember?" client:"Oh, yeah. We wanted it back in. Do you think the problem has anything to do with the fact that you used FrontPage?" me:"we didn't use fron page." client:"uh, we did." me:"sorry, can't help you."

09-23-2004, 12:39 PM	#39
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	When I did tech support for an ISP/host: Client: How do I "upload" files to my site? I don't know how to do that! ~~~LOL~~~ Me: Using your FTP client. Client: I don't have any clients yet. My web design business is brand new. Me: Huh? Client: Where do I email my files to make them show up on my site? Me: Let me transfer you to someone who can assist you with that. Client: Thanks. Me: (places call back in queue and heads outside for a smoke and a chuckle) __________________ I like pie.

09-23-2004, 12:43 PM	#40
shima Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Office, as usual Posts: 1,753	I'm going to save this thread, I love it!

09-23-2004, 12:54 PM	#41
FrankWhite Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 3,540	Client: "I keep finding myself hitting the clear button instead of the submit button, and then the form clears out and I have to start all over again. Is there anything you can do to fix that?"