Stupid Client Quote #3
 

Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."
Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."
Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

Every day a new idiot gets up... :thumbsup

:helpme

Tell them to contact me when they find a solution, I want something like that too.

Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

I heard everything in this business but that's a first. :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

Designer: "Yeah, like a house or car..." :winkwink:

"more fonts. use more fonts!"
"ummm... how many do you want?"
"how many do you have?"

Client: We want the world
Designer: its imposible
Client: i'll take my business elsewhere

the dumbest clients usually spend the most money

lol... i know this bizaare!

OMG... That is one for the book.. love it.

we had a client who compained about the weight of banner adds, after a month of make
"it lighter"
we asked what she ment, her responce-
" 8 kilos is far to heavy for a banner add "

:1orglaugh

This thread reminds me of my support days at a webtool company. Gives me a headache. :(

:1orglaugh

I could go on for hours with these, but current project clients are great so no complaints here ( [B]1 and B2 represent).

FF :thumbsup

Rofl, fuckin' stupid !

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

So many idiots.....it's really funny!

client: we want our website to look like that website on the internet.

designer: which website is that?

client: you know the one that has all the pictures and stuff.

ROFL!

Love the sig

:eek7

wahahhaaa :1orglaugh

thanks for the laugh doomed LOL freakin funny!

I love when they ask for a service and I quote them....Then they say "It's really simple though... Can you just teach my son how to do it?".

Similar to my experience...

Client: How much will it cost for you to update our featured homes page?
Designer: About $20 per photo and $10 for the text.
Client: That is too expensive (mind you they will make about $2000 - $6000 per house), can you teach my son to do it for say, $50?

That's one I havent heard before, LOL :1orglaugh

thats the funniest thread of the week:thumbsup

lol, thank god i don't do freelance work anymore. :glugglug

I got that the other day. I told the person I'm too busy with personal projects to take on anything extra. I got that response and I followed it with "And you think that will actually save me time?".

here is ours Hall of Fame:
client: I dunno.. I don't like these colors
designer: hmm.. what colors would you like then?
client: try something, I dunno..

after some time..
client: try another font
designer: how would you like this to look? sharper, bolder, darker?
client: you could do it bolder and darker. But I don't like dark, you know?

Client: (After viewing a sample of a multiple choice question)

Please change the "SUBMIT" button to "DONE".
Submit sounds too kinky.

Direct quote...
"We want it to be black, but could you not make it so dark?"

client:"Hey, did you test the site in Windows 98?"
me:"uh, yes. Why"
client:"well, the entire partner section doesn't show up."
me:"We pulled the partner section, remember?"
client:"Oh, yeah. We wanted it back in. Do you think the problem has anything to do with the fact that you used FrontPage?"
me:"we didn't use fron page."
client:"uh, we did."
me:"sorry, can't help you."

When I did tech support for an ISP/host:

Client: How do I "upload" files to my site? I don't know how to do that! ~~~LOL~~~

Me: Using your FTP client.

Client: I don't have any clients yet. My web design business is brand new.

Me: Huh?

Client: Where do I email my files to make them show up on my site?

Me: Let me transfer you to someone who can assist you with that.

Client: Thanks.

Me: (places call back in queue and heads outside for a smoke and a chuckle)

:1orglaugh
I'm going to save this thread, I love it!

Client: "I keep finding myself hitting the clear button instead of the submit button, and then the form clears out and I have to start all over again. Is there anything you can do to fix that?"