US Government Unveils New Anti Terrorist Plans - GoFuckYourself.com

Pleasurepays · 09-17-2004, 05:40 AM

AHSROCFT: ?I WILL STOP THE TERRORISTS WITH MY MIND?

The Pentagon ? US Attorney General John Ahscrocft declared a new front on the global war on terror today: the inner workings of his mind.

?Terrorists of Earth, heed my warning,? Ahsrocft boomed at a press conference this morning. ?Beware the devious workings of my magnificent brain, as I will crush your souls with my finely acute telekinetic powers. Your children will see my face in their nightmares!?

Ahscrocft wowed viewers as he then proceeded to crush a cinder block while standing 20 feet away. It is reported that Ahscrocft received his magic powers after praying to Jesus to aide him in smiting the heathen terrorist menace. Jesus, in swift response, granted Ahscrocft telekinetic powers.

Later, Ahscrocft unveiled plans for a world tour, where he will demonstrate his powers on a full-scale attack on terrorist cells and organizations. He refused to give specifics as to exactly where and when he will strike, but assured that no terrorist will be left on earth with an intact skull.

?In the shadows, I will be waiting for you, and in the dark recesses of your infant mortal brain, you shall see the true face of Ahscrocft.?

lb_vee · 09-17-2004, 11:52 AM

Doctor Dre · 09-17-2004, 12:23 PM

Stupid thread ... fake news = boring

BradM · 09-17-2004, 12:45 PM

Very nicely done.

Ironhorse · 09-17-2004, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doctor Dre
Stupid thread ... fake news = boring

Hey dude, what's your address? I want to mail you a sense of humor.

reynold · 09-20-2004, 10:04 PM

goodluck! i hope the anti-terrorist plan will be successful!

09-17-2004, 05:40 AM	#1
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	US Government Unveils New Anti Terrorist Plans AHSROCFT: ?I WILL STOP THE TERRORISTS WITH MY MIND? The Pentagon ? US Attorney General John Ahscrocft declared a new front on the global war on terror today: the inner workings of his mind. ?Terrorists of Earth, heed my warning,? Ahsrocft boomed at a press conference this morning. ?Beware the devious workings of my magnificent brain, as I will crush your souls with my finely acute telekinetic powers. Your children will see my face in their nightmares!? Ahscrocft wowed viewers as he then proceeded to crush a cinder block while standing 20 feet away. It is reported that Ahscrocft received his magic powers after praying to Jesus to aide him in smiting the heathen terrorist menace. Jesus, in swift response, granted Ahscrocft telekinetic powers. Later, Ahscrocft unveiled plans for a world tour, where he will demonstrate his powers on a full-scale attack on terrorist cells and organizations. He refused to give specifics as to exactly where and when he will strike, but assured that no terrorist will be left on earth with an intact skull. ?In the shadows, I will be waiting for you, and in the dark recesses of your infant mortal brain, you shall see the true face of Ahscrocft.? Last edited by Pleasurepays; 09-17-2004 at 05:41 AM..

09-17-2004, 11:52 AM	#2
lb_vee Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 886

09-17-2004, 12:45 PM	#4
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Very nicely done.

09-20-2004, 10:04 PM	#6
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	goodluck! i hope the anti-terrorist plan will be successful!