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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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09-14-2004, 10:23 AM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northern Cuba
Posts: 3,358
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Abbott and Costello (computer joke)
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ...
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let?s just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W." COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One. COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them? ABBOTT: Of course. COSTELLO: Great! With what? ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? ABBOTT: You click the blue "1." COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOTT: The blue "1." COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w? ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"! ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. COSTELLO: It is? ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. COSTELLO: And that word is real one? ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! Costello hangs up.... A FEW DAYS LATER . . . ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?? ABBOTT: Click on "START."
__________________
 The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask! Free Hosting, Content, etc. CJ Bucks has it all. Sign up! I'll show you my tits now you show me your traffic. |
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09-14-2004, 10:33 AM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,579
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I don't think 90% of the peeps here are old enough to know who Abbott and Costello are.
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09-14-2004, 10:37 AM
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#3 |
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Fucked if I know
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Do you have a flag?
Posts: 23,368
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 21st century "Who's On First." Nice. 
__________________
 ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you. |
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09-14-2004, 10:38 AM
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#4 |
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jellyfish
 Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 71,528
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09-14-2004, 10:41 AM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 8,323
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__________________
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09-14-2004, 10:45 AM
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#6 |
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Let's do some business.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The dirty south.
Posts: 18,781
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COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START." Haha, that belongs in a sig.
__________________
 Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be." |
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09-14-2004, 10:49 AM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northern Cuba
Posts: 3,358
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COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT
__________________
The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask! Free Hosting, Content, etc. CJ Bucks has it all. Sign up! I'll show you my tits now you show me your traffic. |
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09-14-2004, 11:24 AM
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Montreal (Qc, Canada)
Posts: 1,595
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__________________
 ICQ : 318-084-904 |
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