These were posted in my forum... (funny) - GoFuckYourself.com

BlueFly · 09-13-2004, 02:17 PM

Some of these you may have heard...

1.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded

2.
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia

3.
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

4.
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

5.
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

6.
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.

7.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea

8.
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating hahahaha once in a while too.

9. Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

10.
Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

11.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

12.
Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.

13.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

14.
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.

15.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

16.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

17.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour. <br />

18.
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

19.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

20.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

21.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

22.
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

23.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

24.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.

25.
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow, that bitch gotta eat!

26.
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the<br />
same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

27.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

28.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

29.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...

30.
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.

31.
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

32.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it

sickkittens · 09-13-2004, 02:24 PM

some pretty good ones I haven't seen before.

Manowar · 09-13-2004, 02:28 PM

some of those are great

TweetyBird · 09-13-2004, 03:02 PM

some of them are pretty good actually

.:St Ides:. · 09-13-2004, 03:03 PM

BitterPen · 09-13-2004, 03:04 PM

I like number 5!

perverted and proud · 09-13-2004, 03:05 PM

BlueFly · 09-13-2004, 03:38 PM

I like 30. My personal fav.

Manowar · 09-13-2004, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueFly
I like 30. My personal fav.

yeah, thats awesome

steve90 · 09-13-2004, 03:41 PM

Quote:

4.
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

that one is funny and wrong at the same time

Mefo · 09-13-2004, 03:41 PM

lol good one

Cypherpunk · 09-13-2004, 05:21 PM

Thanks for that - just what I needed

BlueFly · 09-13-2004, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cypherpunk
Thanks for that - just what I needed

Yeah... Hit me the same way. Thought I would share it with the kind people in here.

Rankings · 09-13-2004, 06:15 PM

some of those made me laugh out loud

WickedVenus · 09-13-2004, 06:45 PM

good jokes!!!

Spunky · 09-13-2004, 06:47 PM

Some good ones

zentz · 09-13-2004, 07:00 PM

funny forum .. jay

Lykos · 09-13-2004, 07:34 PM

Great stuff!!!I needed soemthing like this,haha

Vitasoy · 09-13-2004, 07:40 PM

Some of those are pretty good.

pornguy · 09-13-2004, 07:41 PM

Calling your own name!

Just did that a few minutes ago.

BrainDead · 09-13-2004, 08:44 PM

i like 12 and 14...

Screaming · 09-13-2004, 08:47 PM

i thought they were alright

gornyhuy · 09-13-2004, 08:52 PM

Some oldies but goodies in there that I had totally forgotten...

BlueFly · 09-14-2004, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pornguy
Calling your own name!

Just did that a few minutes ago.

09-13-2004, 02:17 PM	#1
BlueFly Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: NC, USA Posts: 716	These were posted in my forum... (funny) Some of these you may have heard... 1. Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being retarded 2. Q: What's blue and fucks old people? A: Hypothermia 3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter? A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her 4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time? A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. 5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"? A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6. Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common? A: They don't fucking listen. 7. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts? A: Gonorrhea 8. Q: Why did God create yeast infections? A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating hahahaha once in a while too. 9. Q. How can you tell a macho woman? A. She rolls her own tampons. 10. Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms? A. Better traction in the mud. 11. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep? A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister. 12. Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old. 13. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it. 14. Q. What do you get when you cross two black people? A. Your ass kicked. 15. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. 16. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance? A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving. 17. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen? A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour. <br /> 18. Q. Why do women call it PMS? A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 19. Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. 20. Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. 21. Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy. 22. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? A. The cake jumps out of the girl. 23. Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. 24. Q. How is pubic hair like parsley? A. You push it to the side before you start eating. 25. Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob? A. You know she'll swallow, that bitch gotta eat! 26. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the<br /> same day in Iraq? A. They don't want to wear out the camel. 27. Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. 28. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. 29. Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime? A. When the big hand touches the little hand... 30. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time. 31. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick. 32. Q. Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it __________________ Now Taking Hard Link Trades BTW - NEVER use thexxxhost.com

09-13-2004, 02:24 PM	#2
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	some pretty good ones I haven't seen before. __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

09-13-2004, 03:02 PM	#4
TweetyBird Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Canadian this !!! Posts: 8,532	some of them are pretty good actually __________________ sig for sale. ICQ :338213644

09-13-2004, 03:04 PM	#6
BitterPen Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: TN Posts: 1,926	I like number 5! __________________

09-13-2004, 03:38 PM	#8
BlueFly Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: NC, USA Posts: 716	I like 30. My personal fav. __________________ Now Taking Hard Link Trades BTW - NEVER use thexxxhost.com

09-13-2004, 02:28 PM	#3
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	some of those are great

09-13-2004, 03:03 PM	#5
.:St Ides:. Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,857

09-13-2004, 03:05 PM	#7
perverted and proud Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: pornonto, canada Posts: 124

09-13-2004, 03:41 PM	#11
Mefo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 6,169	lol good one __________________

09-13-2004, 05:21 PM	#12
Cypherpunk Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: UK Posts: 812	Thanks for that - just what I needed

09-13-2004, 06:15 PM	#14
Rankings Adult SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater? Posts: 10,633	some of those made me laugh out loud __________________ Your leader for Adult SEO Services 19+ Years Serving the Adult/SEO Industry ICQ: 610-814 Skype: xratedseo

09-13-2004, 06:45 PM	#15
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09-13-2004, 06:47 PM	#16
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	Some good ones __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

09-13-2004, 07:00 PM	#17
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	funny forum .. jay __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

09-13-2004, 07:34 PM	#18
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	Great stuff!!!I needed soemthing like this,haha __________________

09-13-2004, 07:40 PM	#19
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Some of those are pretty good. __________________ [email protected]

09-13-2004, 07:41 PM	#20
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09-13-2004, 08:44 PM	#21
BrainDead So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,536	i like 12 and 14...

09-13-2004, 08:47 PM	#22
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	i thought they were alright __________________

09-13-2004, 08:52 PM	#23
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	Some oldies but goodies in there that I had totally forgotten... __________________ icq:159548293