Thoughts on kids skipping grades??

[ronaldo]

When our daughter went in for her kindergarten assessment yesterday, the teachers mentioned that we should maybe consider letting her go directly into grade one.

While we agree that her older brother doing his homework in front of her has certainly enabled her to achieve some extra knowledge, our concerns are these:

-Maturity level (although she plays well with older kids, she'd STILL be a year younger than everyone)
-IF she doesn't take to it well, then they'd "Hold her back", which could be very devastating to her
-She's used to going to daycare, but not school and we're not sure how she'd react to a FULL day of learning as opposed to only HALF a day
-Our son's perception that she's smarter than he is.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[EscortBiz]

let her stay with the age group shes in regardless how smart they are

always a rule and when broken it comes with serious regrets

[NinjaSteve]

Age group is important, and school is a part of life. In the future you'll never say "Wow, good thing I finished school 1 year early!" or "Man, if only I would have finished one year early"

Just because a person is intelligent, they'll be lacking socially and miss one year of learning a few new things.

[Fred Quimby]

let her be a big fish in a little pond

[skyechase]

Feminine Perspective

Personally, I think if she tested well enough to be placed into 1st Grade and skip kindergarten then I would do it. Intellectually, Kindergarten may not satisfy her mind and allow it to grow freely. She may become bored quite easily in Kindergarten. She is only skipping one grade, so as far as playmates is concerned. There shouldn?t be a huge age gap difference because I am sure if she is taken to Chuck E Cheese, she plays with kids her age and a few years older too.

[FlyingIguana]

private school would be better. biggest problem is a child can get bored if things are coming too slowly. could happen anyways even after skipping a grade.

skipping grades isn't that great, always be a year behind everyone else physically. i started school a year earlier than the school system wanted. more like a half year early, but i was still younger than some people a grade lower than me. didn't bother me, but i didn't skip any grades.

[ronaldo]

Originally posted by FlyingIguana
private school would be better

We looked at that, but the only private school around here is a Christian private school. We went in to see what it was like and uh....thanks, we'll pass.

Originally posted by FlyingIguana
skipping grades isn't that great, always be a year behind everyone else physically.

Actually this is a good point as well. My son's birthday is on Dec 26th so we could have waited a year to put him in and because he's physically smaller, that was certainly a concern. So far it hasn't been a problem.

Does noone think our son's feelings should come into play at all? Or, tough shit for him? They are siblings after all and this will make the rivalry even greater. We don't want him resenting her at such a young age. If this happened later on, it MIGHT not be so bad.

[WickedVenus]

Stay with the age group shes in. When I was younger my mother was told I should be raised to the next grade. I was not raised up to teh next grade. My mother said she wanted me to have a full childhood. The othe reason why, becasue alot of times for kids when somethgn is easy for them they like it better than spomething that they have to struggle a bit in.

[Peaches]

I'm a December baby and was always younger than my class. There were some good things and bad.

With a girl there's less worry about maturing as with a boy and when they wanted my son to skip 1st grade, I said "no". They have Talented and Gifted classes in middle school here and AP classes in HS. He was fine taking those.

Personally, I wouldn't do it now. If she's meant to skip, she can do it later on when you see more how she reacts to a longer school day. Just keep her mind busy

[<IMX>]

yep..send her to summer camps for talented and gifted like teluride etc...

activities and socialization are the most important concepts in kindergarten.

Originally posted by EscortBiz
let her stay with the age group shes in regardless how smart they are

always a rule and when broken it comes with serious regrets

[Ashlee]

I skipped a grade when i was younger. It was hard once i got into highschool. Everyone was driving a year before i was, i wanted to go out and party and i was still to young. Just all the things like that were bothersome. I'm glad my parents did it now that I am older. I started a college a year earlier, started my whole life a year earlier.

[Intrigue]

My school wanted me to start skipping grades in 6th, every other year, until i graduate, but my father wouldn't let me because i'd be the 'lil guy' in all the classes, and i'm glad he did, it woulda sucked, as someone else said, let her be the big fish in the small pond, you can always bump her up later if you think it's right

[warlock5]

Just make sure she has plenty of oppurtunities to learn outside of school. Books to read, extra curricular stuff, etc.

[detoxed]

Let her skip a grade when she's older and its her choice of the social consequences. If she really wants to she can just get out of high school a year early by taking harder classes earlier and some tests.

[myjah]

I had no idea that they still allowed kids to skip grades.

[The Heron]

If she skips when will she learn to tie her shoes???

[block]

Hm..... Thats a touch choice. Good to not be a parent sometimes.

[Manowar]

Originally posted by myjah
I had no idea that they still allowed kids to skip grades.

If i was offered it when i was at school , i wouldnt have taken it - fucks you up, like when the whole year would be able to learn to drive you would be the only one not able to and stuff

[Matt 26z]

There was a kid who was only 16 in one of my college classes. He purposely dropped out of HS after his SOPH year, got his GED that summer from the college's GED program, and started regular college classes that fall.

[chipmunk]

Hey Ron.

A good buddy of mine skipped a few grades and well when he was in college with me, he could not even get into a bar legally!

He was the young one that could not go with the rest of the group ever. He missed out on many life experiences in my opinion!

--=Chipmunk=--

[buzzard]

I've had 2 kids go through high school.

They both started 1st grade early. There are a myriad of accomplishments in school that the oldest kids have the better chance at, especially sports.

If I had it to do over, I would not start my kids early and would not recommend starting early or skipping a grade to anyone.

EscortBiz says it best

[Sly_RJ]

Childhood is short enough as is. Why rob your little one of those fun times?

[PersianKitty]

For now, your son my think it was fun to have his sister in his class. He won't think so in a few years.

That age for kids is so fragile. I'd let her stay in kindergarten. It helps the transition to full day school in first grade.

If her jump on learning is not all due to watching her brother do his schoolwork. the school system will catch it later on and either put her in accelerated classes or ask about skipping again...at which time she'd be older and could help in the decision.

[PiksalDesign]

Seriously. You would want to visit a phsyc and let him get to know her, then he will give you the best answer.

This is how its supposed to be done.

[Zerof8]

I wouldnt move her up right now because one grade is not that big of a deal and it could put a lot of pressure on her to be in a higher class than most of the kids her age. If they try to send her to college or something do it, she could get some kind of genius job and pay rent, since she wont be able to get an apartment you could charge as much as you want.

[tranza]

Plain and simple, don´t do it...

[tranza]

Originally posted by tranza
Plain and simple, don´t do it...

On the other hand I think you should do it...

[tranza]

Nevermind, I don´t know what I´m talking about....

[mindoza]

Kindergarden teaches kids much more than you would think. I think it is an important part of a child's devolopement.

Do not skip grade..I would suggest looking into magnet schools in your area or a mentally gifted program in her school...but let her socialize and grow into school!

[Brat]

They skipped me right into first grade. From never being in daycare of pre-k. NOTHING. When i got into first grade they wanted to skip me to second. My parents were like WHOA that's enough for now. I think I turned out ok. (haha saying this on a porn webmaster forum) No, but in all seriousness, I never got teased about the face that i was the youngest. Everyone treated me the same. I have no problems

[ronaldo]

Originally posted by PiksalDesign
Seriously. You would want to visit a phsyc and let him get to know her, then he will give you the best answer.

This is how its supposed to be done.

Right.

I actually put more stock in my own opinion OR that of people who have actually experienced it, like the people here, or my friends and associates.

I have no desire to sit and listen to a psychologist's psycho-babble-bullshit.

Psychologists are to blame for NOONE in today's society wanting to take responsiblity for anything they do. I put them just ahead of lawyers in the food chain.

[Goatse]

For her own well-being, allow her to go straight to first grade. I should have skipped two grades as a kid, but this was virtually impossible in the public school system back then. As a result, I was stuck with individuals with whom I could not connect because I was on a different level in terms of maturity and intellect. Isolation and alienation at such an early age is quite unhealthy and it can scar you for life.

[fr8]

I wouldnt do it. gives kids a reason to tease her.

[FlyingIguana]

Originally posted by ronaldo
We looked at that, but the only private school around here is a Christian private school. We went in to see what it was like and uh....thanks, we'll pass.


Actually this is a good point as well. My son's birthday is on Dec 26th so we could have waited a year to put him in and because he's physically smaller, that was certainly a concern. So far it hasn't been a problem.

Does noone think our son's feelings should come into play at all? Or, tough shit for him? They are siblings after all and this will make the rivalry even greater. We don't want him resenting her at such a young age. If this happened later on, it MIGHT not be so bad.

don't see it being a problem for the son as long as you praise his accomplishments.

your son starting earlier is a lot different than skipping a grade. you lose that one year of developement.

also don't just overlook the catholic school, i went to a catholic school up to grade 8 and i didn't believe in god. the only person to not go to confirmation as well and i never had a problem. teachers didn't say a peep to me about my religious preferences. typically you're looking at a more competitive environment with better teachers and more individual attention with a private school. positives and negatives. i'd say look into it without thinking of it as a catholic school. try not to be biased.

[The Other Sweetie]

I see nothing wrong with letting a child skip a grade. I, too, skipped a grade in school. Went straight from K to 2nd, which was still way too easy. The principal wanted to shoot me straight to 3rd. School district wouldn't allow me to skip two grades, though, so they skipped me to 2nd and threw me in gifted classes instead.

If a grade is too easy for a child, I wouldn't limit them by making them stay in that grade. Let them advance. I suffered no ill side effects from it. Yes, I was in the same grade as my older sister and we both graduated the same year. Yes, I was still 15 in 10th grade and wasn't old enough to drive until my junior year. Big deal. No, I never felt I had a limited childhood because of it. I have never regretted skipping a grade.

One downside to keeping them in a grade too easy for them is potential resentment from other classmates. Didn't you hate the smart kid in class who always had all the answers and knew everything? Better to let her advance and be where her classmates are intellectually equal.

At that age, no one is going to care that they're playing/sharing classes with someone a year younger than them. Your son should have no problem with it as long as no big deal is made about it. If you play it out that your daughter is so damn smart that she's skipping a grade, then yeah there might be some resentment from the son. If he asks questions, tell him the other grade was too easy and leave it at that. No need to brag about it.

[rakeback]

I only know about skipping classes.

[Drake]

If she's finding the work too easy that it's boring and rote to her, then you should put her in a higher grade. A child may suffer and actually begin performing worse in school if they find the work isn't stimulating enough.

[FlyingIguana]

Originally posted by Mike33
If she's finding the work too easy that it's boring and rote to her, then you should put her in a higher grade. A child may suffer and actually begin performing worse in school if they find the work isn't stimulating enough.

i had that same problem in school. personally i think a better way would be to make getting grades more like a job. nail high marks and get more toys. give the child some motivation to get results.

[MT_Butterfly]

Originally posted by EscortBiz
let her stay with the age group shes in regardless how smart they are

always a rule and when broken it comes with serious regrets

Excellent advice. When my oldest son was in the second grade, the teacher discussed him skipping the third grade and going directly into fourth because he was already reading at a college grade level. I declined and felt it was best he stayed with his own age group and peers. Less pressure on the kid's this way, they won't be expected to "perform" all the time at a certain standard because they were accelerated in school.

[Drake]

Originally posted by MT_Butterfly
Excellent advice. When my oldest son was in the second grade, the teacher discussed him skipping the third grade and going directly into fourth because he was already reading at a college grade level. I declined and felt it was best he stayed with his own age group and peers. Less pressure on the kid's this way, they won't be expected to "perform" all the time at a certain standard because they were accelerated in school.

It all depends. One of the things to do is to ask your child how they would feel. If the school work comes easy to them, it probably doesn't feel like work to them or 'performing'. It could have the opposite effect of boosting their self-esteem because they're in a higher grade when their same grade peers are unable to get to the same level. Make them feel smarter and more confident.

Basically if you know your child and how they would feel being around older kids and if they'd feel over pressured, you'll know what decision to make.

[BitterPen]

Honestly, I would keep her with her age group right now. There will be plenty of time to move her up in the future.

My son was well above the rest of the class in Kindergarten, but I think it helped him to be in with his age group. He also got a pretty easy year to learn the rules and regs of "How to Act in School".

It's stressful enough just starting school... not to mention throwing her into a class with a bunch of older kids that are used to the routines and rules of school... Just my

[MT_Butterfly]

Originally posted by Mike33

Basically if you know your child and how they would feel being around older kids and if they'd feel over pressured, you'll know what decision to make.

That's true, it's all about knowing your child and also the school system you're dealing with.

I honestly feel that kids need to be kids...they should be allowed time to play and goof off. There is so much pressure on them already by the time they start school, there is no point in adding any more pressure. I guess it's all about finding balance, teaching kids responsibility, while allowing them to be human, make mistakes and encouraging them to achieve to the best of their ability.

No one ever said being a parent was easy and I still haven't found the "user's manual" that should of came with each of my 4 kids. But every second with your kids is SO worth it!

[Drake]

Originally posted by MT_Butterfly
That's true, it's all about knowing your child and also the school system you're dealing with.

I honestly feel that kids need to be kids...they should be allowed time to play and goof off. There is so much pressure on them already by the time they start school, there is no point in adding any more pressure. I guess it's all about finding balance, teaching kids responsibility, while allowing them to be human, make mistakes and encouraging them to achieve to the best of their ability.

No one ever said being a parent was easy and I still haven't found the "user's manual" that should of came with each of my 4 kids. But every second with your kids is SO worth it!

Totally agree, it comes to knowing your child and trying not to impose how you would feel but how they would feel. If you were a shy child and would have found going into a higher grade dreadful, but your child is outgoing, confident, and likes older kids they may think of going into a higher grade completely differently from how you would have when you were a child.

Probably at kindergarten it's too early to tell? Maybe wait a year or two to see before pushing her into a higher grade, because kids are learning things like responsibility and 'sitting still' in those grades (I had tought time with regiment). In later years I wouldn't have minded being put in a grade or two higher. I always ran with the older boys anyway because they seemed to know more and were more interesting.

[aSStig]

well, there's no problem if she would skip another grade, but she might be outcast by her new set of classmates . . . .