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A woman walks into an appliance store and tells a salesman she wants to buy this particular tv. The salesman says sorry we dont sell to blondes. She gets all indignant and walks out. A few days later she decides shes gonna show the sales man and besides REALLY wants that tv. So she puts on a dark wig and glasses and goes back to the store. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says, sorry we dont sell to blondes. By this time shes really desperate and needs a tv, so a week or so later, she gets her hair color changed to black, changes her contact color to brown and puts on a really crappy looking dress and granny boots and goes back. She tells the salesman she wants to buy that tv, and again he says sorry we dont sell to blondes. The lady starts crying and making a scene. Te manager comes over and asks what the problem is. She tells him that the salesman wont sell her that tv cause shes a blonde. The managers says, "Lady thats a microwave."
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Lol, i found a pic from our police. The pic was taken about 2km near my home :)
http://www.pimpvision.com/temp/funny/13.jpg |
There was once a kid who overheard his parents screwing. His father told his mother,"Oh, you have such nice big titties!"
His mother told his father,"Oh, you have such a big, long cock!" He asked his dad what titties and cocks were. His dad Told him,"Titties are big hats that women wear, and cocks are big long coats that men wear." The next day, he overhears his parents arguing. His dad calls his mom a bitch and his mom calls his dad a bastard. He asks his mom what a bitch and bastard are. His mom tells him,"Well, a bitch is a woman and a bastard is a man." It's the night of the thanksgiving dinner. He walks by the bathroom while his dad is shaving. His dad cuts himself and says,"Shit!" He asks what shit is. "Oh, it's just this stuff I'm getting off my face now." He then walks into the kitchen, where his mom is stuffing the turkey. She slices her finger with a knife and says,"Fuck!" He asks what fuck is. She tells him,"It's what I'm putting in the turkey." The guests arrive,and the kid wants to show off His new vocabulary. "Hi, there, bitches and bastards. Allow me to take your titties and cocks and hang them up for you. My daddy's in the batroom wiping the shit off his face and my mommy's in the kitchen fucking the turkey." |
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray's to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you. The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"
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A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?" "Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand." |
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother." |
Who won?
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I thought this was a new thread =p
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:1orglaugh
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What do you never want to call a black person,
if the word starts with n and ends with r. guess |
How did germany invade poland?
they walked in backwards and said they were leaving |
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Happy Birthday :glugglug
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congrats on 30. I turned 30 in Jan.
FYI-it sucks for now on |
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so...who won the ps2?
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happy birthday :)
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ok here is mine :
http://www.kurilka.com/cards/oscar.jpg http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Picz/017.jpg Invisible Bikini-lol :) http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Pic...lestbikini.jpg Single Man... http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Picz/050.jpg http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Pic...Kate_Olsen.jpg http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Picz/003.jpg http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Picz/056.jpg penis enlargement http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/Picz/109.jpg |
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See sig for a good laugh. Who won? :1orglaugh
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Who won?
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Seems it was all a scam. Here it is wednesday and ity was sposed to be sent out Monday. Hmmm Go buy a PS2. Get it faster :1orglaugh
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or........... maybe he got so fucked up drunk that nite he completely forgot about it... or he got locked up and is sittingin jial waiting for bail. :helpme
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So who won.
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happy birthday
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Just wanted to say Happy Birthday...this is me
http://www.selfpleasure.com/24.jpg I don't really have anything funny, but I will share my hot mistress with you as a birthday present. http://www.selfpleasure.com/intub.jpg |
:1orglaugh
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So who has won this competition??
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still would like to know, looks like its the second time he is pulling this shit
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Bitterpen won it you dumb fuck! And I sent her the Console with like 6 brand new fucking games. Might want to do a better search next time, dipshit!
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...=bitterpen+PS2 |
Why don't you contact her and ask her what she got.
What a fucking MORON! |
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