Oldie but Goodie - GoFuckYourself.com

cypocrypt · 08-23-2004, 12:03 PM

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations).

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know?"

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so".

Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer".

"I can't reach it."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes. The office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power.... a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now."

"Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, unplug your system, and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer."

Wizzo · 08-23-2004, 12:06 PM

haha... good stuff!

Reak · 08-23-2004, 12:08 PM

i like the other ones better

AphEX · 08-23-2004, 12:12 PM

LOL
nice

Marcus Aurelius · 08-23-2004, 12:13 PM

and its true too! really!!

I used to work at a cable company and you would be amazed at how many people would call about their cable being out while the power was off. We would ask, can you turn the television to channel 3 for us, and they would say, the TV is off, there is no power here, so how do you know your cable is out, because the TV is off,...ummm..okay..we'll get someone out immediately,...CLICK!

Michaelious · 08-23-2004, 12:16 PM

Lol i bet there are alot of guys that take calls wish they could do that!

Manowar · 08-23-2004, 01:06 PM

I'd give that response myself

NoCarrier · 08-23-2004, 01:07 PM

Yup. That one is a classic. I don't know if it's true. Sounds more like a "techhie" urban legend.

Strife · 08-23-2004, 01:11 PM

LMAO

just another example of some the idiots customer support has to deal with everyday.

Fake Nick · 08-23-2004, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NoCarrier
Yup. That one is a classic. I don't know if it's true. Sounds more like a "techhie" urban legend.

Doctor Dre · 08-23-2004, 01:29 PM

But still funny

word perfect is so 1999

TweetyBird · 08-23-2004, 01:32 PM

hehe, old indeed but still nice

cypocrypt · 08-23-2004, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doctor Dre

But still funny

word perfect is so 1999

read topic "Oldie but Goodie"

anyways timeline pic is always funny

mardigras · 08-23-2004, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mdcq
and its true too! really!!

When people say something is true enough times some people start believing it without checking

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

cypocrypt · 08-23-2004, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mardigras
http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

Picking up the mouse, pointing it at the screen, and clicking it as if it were a remote control.

Basic_man · 08-23-2004, 02:03 PM

Still funny

mardigras · 08-23-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cypocrypt
Picking up the mouse, pointing it at the screen, and clicking it as if it were a remote control.

My 2 favorites are:

Attaching floppy diskettes to the side of a metal filing cabinet with magnets.

Photocopying a diskette when asked to make a copy.

08-23-2004, 12:03 PM	#1
cypocrypt Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New York and on icq 108422465 Posts: 1,851	Oldie but Goodie This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations). "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know?" "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so". Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." "Yes it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer". "I can't reach it." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes. The office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power.... a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now." "Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, unplug your system, and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer."

08-23-2004, 12:06 PM	#2
Wizzo 2011 GFY Hall of Fame! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Back in Texas! Posts: 15,224	haha... good stuff! __________________ Looking for Opportunity!

08-23-2004, 12:12 PM	#4
AphEX Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 2,901	LOL nice __________________ IndieBucks \| StandAhead \| BoyCrushCash \| Phoenixxx \| EmoProfits \| BritishBucks \| HunkMoney \| LatinoBucks

08-23-2004, 12:13 PM	#5
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	and its true too! really!! I used to work at a cable company and you would be amazed at how many people would call about their cable being out while the power was off. We would ask, can you turn the television to channel 3 for us, and they would say, the TV is off, there is no power here, so how do you know your cable is out, because the TV is off,...ummm..okay..we'll get someone out immediately,...CLICK! Last edited by Marcus Aurelius; 08-23-2004 at 12:15 PM..

08-23-2004, 12:16 PM	#6
Michaelious Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 6,720	Lol i bet there are alot of guys that take calls wish they could do that! __________________

08-23-2004, 12:08 PM	#3
Reak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 420Calendar.com Posts: 17,920	i like the other ones better

08-23-2004, 01:06 PM	#7
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	I'd give that response myself

08-23-2004, 01:07 PM	#8
NoCarrier We need more free porn Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 16,356	Yup. That one is a classic. I don't know if it's true. Sounds more like a "techhie" urban legend. __________________

08-23-2004, 01:11 PM	#9
Strife Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 4,534	LMAO just another example of some the idiots customer support has to deal with everyday. __________________ Buy & Sell Ads on The Most Sexy Advertising Network on the Planet

08-23-2004, 01:32 PM	#12
TweetyBird Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Canadian this !!! Posts: 8,532	hehe, old indeed but still nice __________________ sig for sale. ICQ :338213644

08-23-2004, 02:03 PM	#16
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	Still funny __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !