Maybe there's something to bullshitting and asskissing after all...

[CDSmith]

from a mathamatical viewpoint it goes like this;

what makes 100%?
what does it mean to give more than 100%?
Do you know someone who say they give more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100%
How bout achieving 103%?

what makes up 100% in life?

Heres a little mathamatical formula that might help you with these questions...

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%

and,

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20=103%

and now look where ass kissing will take you,

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+29+9+14+7=127%


So one can conclude with mathamatical certainity that while hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, bullshit and asskissing will put you over the top.

I rest my case.

[contentjunky]

Nice Post. Like the numbers

[wes]

i love it

[fr8]

Brown nosing will only get you so far. lol

[CDSmith]

Originally posted by fr8
Brown nosing will only get you so far. lol

I'm thinking short bus here.

[CDSmith]

Okay, that's the lowdown on bullshitting and asskissing.

What about pissing and moaning? You have GOT to read this....


An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called- and that on the few occasions whn it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, courious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was reciving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.


Which goes to show that some problems can in fact be fixed by pissing and moaning.