Oracle's guide on how to get laid. - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

TDF · 08-09-2004, 03:29 AM

50 idiots who couldnt get laid with a wet sock

Tim · 08-09-2004, 03:31 AM

Learn something every day here!

hova · 08-09-2004, 03:35 AM

This works for 16 year old boys.........

Nicky · 08-09-2004, 03:36 AM

wow, advice on how to hook up with trannys, must try!

Goatse · 08-09-2004, 03:45 AM

It sounds more like a guide to eternal masturbation to me.

TheMob · 08-09-2004, 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me.

i recommend wearing a real hat, not something everyone and his mom wear

strobi · 08-09-2004, 04:10 AM

I go out clubbing like this:

and tons of extra colone! I get game ALL the time!

polish_aristocrat · 08-09-2004, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn
well im not gonna bullshit too much, lets start:

go out to a club.
before you go there.... prepare....

1) Wear nice cloths, fashionable, not your comfy baggie pants from walmart you got for $9.95 4 years ago.

2) Take a shower, put deodorant on and body spray, chicks LOVE it when a guy smells good. and put on LOTS of cologne before you go out, it will dry out but will be enough to get the chick to notice you smell good.

3) If you got too much hair, a unibrow or anything of that sort, take it down.

4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.

go out, if you got a shitty $500 car get a cab or ask your friend your going with for a ride.

never go out before the doors open at the club, if they open their doors at 11, be there at 12.

when you get there, don't go straight it, check out around you, who is around, how are the chicks, if the place looks dead find another place.

when you get it, check out the scene, check whats going on, get yourself a drink, loosen up.

once you got yourself a drink or two, chew some fucking gum, nothing girls despise the most then some guy smelling like an alcoholic.

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

in case you make contact with some chicks who responds disgustedly don't give up, move on, there are 100's of hot chicks in the club looking for a nice dick to hump on....

more when this thread hits 100 posts...

everything fine but i can't dance

IPK · 08-09-2004, 06:52 AM

IPK's Guide on how to get laid:

1. Signup for AdultFriendFinder under my ref code
2. Bang chicks.

Vitasoy · 08-09-2004, 07:06 AM

Sounds like a pretty straight forward common sense good :p

fr33s3x · 08-09-2004, 07:25 AM

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kard63
I cant dance and I'm always hot I'd start sweating if I did.

Oracle's advise isn't bad. He can't give you the right attitude, and he does look better than what most of you (men) have posted.

BTW who wants to fuck a bunch of random club hoes? Since I only like long meaningful relationships firneds of friends or some shit like that is best for me, lol. I mean if we all go have fun great, and if we try to go have fun and dont, I can sneak out

Hehehe thanks...
not everyone like relationships....and sometimes those "club hoes" can surprise you...

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me.

I'm talking about MOST of the girls...not all of them...
some girls like fat stinky red necks...there are exceptions.

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance

learn bro, it's not that hard....

pxxx · 08-09-2004, 08:46 AM

You just have to know how to talk and treat a girl.

johndoebob · 08-09-2004, 08:53 AM

I thought it would be easier to get laid in a gay/tranny club but oh well Oracle proves me wrong again.

skillfull · 08-09-2004, 09:07 AM

first step
forget those guide and other bullshit
second step
use common sence
third step
be yourself
fourth step
please dont be Oracle

bdld · 08-09-2004, 09:09 AM

go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

FlyingIguana · 08-09-2004, 09:13 AM

iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

johndoebob · 08-09-2004, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bdld
go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

And get robbed because of that

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FlyingIguana
iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

you don't get laid a lot that's for sure.

alexg · 08-09-2004, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance

so you'll need a little more then 1 drink

RobD · 08-09-2004, 09:48 AM

you should write a book, I thought girls liked dirty stinky guys

cosis · 08-09-2004, 09:59 AM

guide to getting laid

show a stacks of 100 dollars bills to girl
insert penis into vagina

extreme · 08-09-2004, 10:13 AM

about sums it up.

http · 08-09-2004, 10:32 AM

LOTS of cologne huh?

that may work well in white trash and lady boy clubs but only there

Lace · 08-09-2004, 10:39 AM

thread is still going?

beergood · 08-09-2004, 10:44 AM

Quote:

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.

I don't grind on girls that doesn't want to be grinded on.

StarkReality · 08-09-2004, 10:52 AM

Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run.

The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch

)...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time

Raf1 · 08-09-2004, 10:59 AM

I don't use gel (my hair is about 3-4mm), I get drunk as fuck, rarely dance and somehow I usually come home with a pretty hot chick. There is no recipe for picking up girls. Some like metrosexual fags, some like men...

cherrylula · 08-09-2004, 11:02 AM

this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation

escorpio · 08-09-2004, 11:12 AM

I almost fucked a girl once.

tranza · 08-09-2004, 11:13 AM

Lol... I want to see the rest of it...

Kard63 · 08-09-2004, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cherrylula
this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation

LMAO yes it does.

but nothing will beat dancing hans.

beemk · 08-09-2004, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cherrylula
this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation

hahahhaha, it sure does

Oracle Porn · 08-09-2004, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StarkReality
Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run.

The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch )...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time

while you are dreaming, I'll fuck the chick from the club...
good luck though....

cayne · 08-09-2004, 01:29 PM

LOL your guide is exactly like a song of a german band:
Blumentopf - Better life GmbH.

TheMob · 08-09-2004, 01:31 PM

lol, this thread is getting really funny

NoCarrier · 08-09-2004, 01:35 PM

Oracle Porn, you should start with something much more easier. You're going too fast..

coolfuck · 08-09-2004, 01:44 PM

nice thx for that man ;)
i am a newbie ..at that shit

TheEnforcer · 08-09-2004, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
the similarities between this and the "get your TGP to 300k in 6 days" lil2rich4u thread are staggering

Face (o_0) · 08-09-2004, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raf1
I don't use gel (my hair is about 3-4mm), I get drunk as fuck, rarely dance and somehow I usually come home with a pretty hot chick. There is no recipe for picking up girls. Some like metrosexual fags, some like men...

ZING!

TheEnforcer · 08-09-2004, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Blondie23
Honey that advice is great for some.. but if a guy is carrying some extra lbs and not young and trendy.. i dont think throwing his weight around on the dance floor and working up a sweat (mixed with that strong cologne) is gonna guarantee him some puntang.

Nothing more unsexy than a guy trying too hard.. i much prefer the laid back guys who would rather just be themselves.

each to their own tho!

As usual a classy lady like blondie comes along and sheds true light on the subject. I'll take a great lady like blondie who cares about substance over a shallow chick who can get played by fools out to impress gullible women any night of the week.

axelcat · 08-09-2004, 01:58 PM

StarkReality · 08-09-2004, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn
while you are dreaming, I'll fuck the chick from the club...
good luck though....

Have fun doing it, took me quite long to grow up and recognize how boring sex with those 18 year old immature chicks is, too.

cayne · 08-09-2004, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
the similarities between this and the "get your TGP to 300k in 6 days" lil2rich4u thread are staggering

link?

doober · 08-09-2004, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cosis
guide to getting laid

show a stacks of 100 dollars bills to girl
insert penis into vagina

roflmao

BoNgHiTtA · 08-09-2004, 02:13 PM

its so obvious how young and naive oracle you are by this post. this is the shit that you would do when your in college or high school.

and yeah, do it for years and it gets pretty old. there isn't much substance at clubs and with these sorts of girls. meeting women worth meeting is really about being in the right circles.

Paul Waters · 08-09-2004, 02:28 PM

Why would we accept advice from a virgin?

08-09-2004, 03:29 AM	#51
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08-09-2004, 03:31 AM	#52
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08-09-2004, 03:35 AM	#53
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08-09-2004, 03:36 AM	#54
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08-09-2004, 06:52 AM	#59
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08-09-2004, 03:45 AM	#55
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08-09-2004, 04:10 AM	#57
strobi Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Belgium Posts: 7,383	I go out clubbing like this: and tons of extra colone! I get game ALL the time!

08-09-2004, 07:06 AM	#60
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08-09-2004, 07:25 AM	#61
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08-09-2004, 08:46 AM	#65
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08-09-2004, 08:53 AM	#66
johndoebob Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,405	I thought it would be easier to get laid in a gay/tranny club but oh well Oracle proves me wrong again. __________________

08-09-2004, 09:07 AM	#67
skillfull Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Quebec Calisse Posts: 4,716	first step forget those guide and other bullshit second step use common sence third step be yourself fourth step please dont be Oracle __________________ mind at underdark dot cc SEO Analyst Thunder-Ball.net - Member

08-09-2004, 09:09 AM	#68
bdld $100,000 Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 11,452	go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

08-09-2004, 09:13 AM	#69
FlyingIguana aspiring banker Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: toronto Posts: 10,870	iguana's guide to getting laid drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

08-09-2004, 09:48 AM	#73
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08-09-2004, 09:59 AM	#74
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08-09-2004, 10:13 AM	#75
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08-09-2004, 10:32 AM	#76
http Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 1,811	LOTS of cologne huh? that may work well in white trash and lady boy clubs but only there

08-09-2004, 10:39 AM	#77
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08-09-2004, 10:52 AM	#80
StarkReality Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: 4 8 15 16 23 42 Posts: 4,444	Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run. The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch )...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time

08-09-2004, 10:59 AM	#81
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08-09-2004, 11:02 AM	#82
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08-09-2004, 11:12 AM	#83
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08-09-2004, 11:13 AM	#84
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08-09-2004, 01:29 PM	#88
cayne My time is coming... Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Europe --- eMail: service(at)badasscompany.com --- ICQ: 60288510 Posts: 7,476	LOL your guide is exactly like a song of a german band: Blumentopf - Better life GmbH. __________________ If lesbian anal is wrong, I don't want to be right.

08-09-2004, 01:31 PM	#89
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08-09-2004, 01:35 PM	#90
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08-09-2004, 01:44 PM	#91
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08-09-2004, 01:58 PM	#95
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08-09-2004, 02:13 PM	#99
BoNgHiTtA Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,176	its so obvious how young and naive oracle you are by this post. this is the shit that you would do when your in college or high school. and yeah, do it for years and it gets pretty old. there isn't much substance at clubs and with these sorts of girls. meeting women worth meeting is really about being in the right circles. __________________ Wanna see how Adult Site Traffic Scammed me? Click Here:

08-09-2004, 02:28 PM	#100
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