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TDF	08-09-2004 03:29 AM

50 idiots who couldnt get laid with a wet sock

Tim	08-09-2004 03:31 AM

Learn something every day here!

hova	08-09-2004 03:35 AM

This works for 16 year old boys.........

Nicky

08-09-2004 03:36 AM

wow, advice on how to hook up with trannys, must try!:Graucho

Goatse

08-09-2004 03:45 AM

It sounds more like a guide to eternal masturbation to me.

TheMob

08-09-2004 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babagirls
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me. :glugglug

i recommend wearing a real hat, not something everyone and his mom wear

strobi

08-09-2004 04:10 AM

I go out clubbing like this:

http://beyond-personal-training.com/c1.jpg

and tons of extra colone! I get game ALL the time!

polish_aristocrat

08-09-2004 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn
well im not gonna bullshit too much, lets start:

go out to a club.
before you go there.... prepare....

1) Wear nice cloths, fashionable, not your comfy baggie pants from walmart you got for $9.95 4 years ago.

2) Take a shower, put deodorant on and body spray, chicks LOVE it when a guy smells good. and put on LOTS of cologne before you go out, it will dry out but will be enough to get the chick to notice you smell good.

3) If you got too much hair, a unibrow or anything of that sort, take it down.

4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.

go out, if you got a shitty $500 car get a cab or ask your friend your going with for a ride.

never go out before the doors open at the club, if they open their doors at 11, be there at 12.

when you get there, don't go straight it, check out around you, who is around, how are the chicks, if the place looks dead find another place.

when you get it, check out the scene, check whats going on, get yourself a drink, loosen up.

once you got yourself a drink or two, chew some fucking gum, nothing girls despise the most then some guy smelling like an alcoholic.

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

in case you make contact with some chicks who responds disgustedly don't give up, move on, there are 100's of hot chicks in the club looking for a nice dick to hump on....

more when this thread hits 100 posts...

everything fine but i can't dance :(

IPK	08-09-2004 06:52 AM

IPK's Guide on how to get laid:

1. Signup for AdultFriendFinder under my ref code
2. Bang chicks.

Vitasoy

08-09-2004 07:06 AM

Sounds like a pretty straight forward common sense good :p

fr33s3x

08-09-2004 07:25 AM

gay

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kard63
I cant dance and I'm always hot I'd start sweating if I did.

Oracle's advise isn't bad. He can't give you the right attitude, and he does look better than what most of you (men) have posted.

BTW who wants to fuck a bunch of random club hoes? Since I only like long meaningful relationships firneds of friends or some shit like that is best for me, lol. I mean if we all go have fun great, and if we try to go have fun and dont, I can sneak out :1orglaugh

Hehehe thanks...
not everyone like relationships....and sometimes those "club hoes" can surprise you...:winkwink:

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 08:38 AM

Quote:

I'm talking about MOST of the girls...not all of them...
some girls like fat stinky red necks...there are exceptions.

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance :(

learn bro, it's not that hard....

pxxx	08-09-2004 08:46 AM

You just have to know how to talk and treat a girl.

johndoebob

08-09-2004 08:53 AM

I thought it would be easier to get laid in a gay/tranny club but oh well Oracle proves me wrong again.

skillfull

08-09-2004 09:07 AM

first step
forget those guide and other bullshit
second step
use common sence
third step
be yourself
fourth step
please dont be Oracle

:2 cents:

bdld	08-09-2004 09:09 AM

go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

FlyingIguana

08-09-2004 09:13 AM

iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

johndoebob

08-09-2004 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bdld
go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

And get robbed because of that :winkwink:

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FlyingIguana
iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

you don't get laid a lot that's for sure.

alexg

08-09-2004 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance :(

so you'll need a little more then 1 drink

RobD	08-09-2004 09:48 AM

you should write a book, I thought girls liked dirty stinky guys :1orglaugh

cosis

08-09-2004 09:59 AM

guide to getting laid

show a stacks of 100 dollars bills to girl
insert penis into vagina

extreme

08-09-2004 10:13 AM

about sums it up.

http	08-09-2004 10:32 AM

LOTS of cologne huh?

that may work well in white trash and lady boy clubs but only there

Lace	08-09-2004 10:39 AM

thread is still going?

beergood

08-09-2004 10:44 AM

Quote:

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.

I don't grind on girls that doesn't want to be grinded on.

StarkReality

08-09-2004 10:52 AM

Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run.

The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch :Graucho)...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time :2 cents:

Raf1	08-09-2004 10:59 AM

I don't use gel (my hair is about 3-4mm), I get drunk as fuck, rarely dance and somehow I usually come home with a pretty hot chick. There is no recipe for picking up girls. Some like metrosexual fags, some like men...

cherrylula

08-09-2004 11:02 AM

this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation :Graucho

escorpio

08-09-2004 11:12 AM

I almost fucked a girl once.

tranza

08-09-2004 11:13 AM

Lol... I want to see the rest of it...

Kard63

08-09-2004 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cherrylula
this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation :Graucho

LMAO yes it does.

but nothing will beat dancing hans.

beemk

08-09-2004 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cherrylula
this thread desperately needs a dancing oracle porn animation :Graucho

hahahhaha, it sure does

Oracle Porn

08-09-2004 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StarkReality
Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run.

The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch :Graucho)...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time :2 cents:

while you are dreaming, I'll fuck the chick from the club...
good luck though....

cayne

08-09-2004 01:29 PM

LOL your guide is exactly like a song of a german band:
Blumentopf - Better life GmbH. :1orglaugh

TheMob

08-09-2004 01:31 PM

lol, this thread is getting really funny

NoCarrier

08-09-2004 01:35 PM

Oracle Porn, you should start with something much more easier. You're going too fast..

http://www.fleshlight.com/main/image...lgf_vagina.jpg

:glugglug

coolfuck

08-09-2004 01:44 PM

nice thx for that man ;)
i am a newbie ..at that shit

TheEnforcer

08-09-2004 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
the similarities between this and the "get your TGP to 300k in 6 days" lil2rich4u thread are staggering

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Face (o_0)

08-09-2004 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raf1
I don't use gel (my hair is about 3-4mm), I get drunk as fuck, rarely dance and somehow I usually come home with a pretty hot chick. There is no recipe for picking up girls. Some like metrosexual fags, some like men...

ZING!

TheEnforcer

08-09-2004 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Blondie23
Honey that advice is great for some.. but if a guy is carrying some extra lbs and not young and trendy.. i dont think throwing his weight around on the dance floor and working up a sweat (mixed with that strong cologne) is gonna guarantee him some puntang.

Nothing more unsexy than a guy trying too hard.. i much prefer the laid back guys who would rather just be themselves.:2 cents:

each to their own tho!

As usual a classy lady like blondie comes along and sheds true light on the subject. I'll take a great lady like blondie who cares about substance over a shallow chick who can get played by fools out to impress gullible women any night of the week.

axelcat

08-09-2004 01:58 PM

:1orglaugh

StarkReality

08-09-2004 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn
while you are dreaming, I'll fuck the chick from the club...
good luck though....

Have fun doing it, took me quite long to grow up and recognize how boring sex with those 18 year old immature chicks is, too. :winkwink:

cayne

08-09-2004 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
the similarities between this and the "get your TGP to 300k in 6 days" lil2rich4u thread are staggering

link? :Graucho :Graucho

doober

08-09-2004 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cosis
guide to getting laid

show a stacks of 100 dollars bills to girl
insert penis into vagina

roflmao

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

BoNgHiTtA

08-09-2004 02:13 PM

its so obvious how young and naive oracle you are by this post. this is the shit that you would do when your in college or high school.

and yeah, do it for years and it gets pretty old. there isn't much substance at clubs and with these sorts of girls. meeting women worth meeting is really about being in the right circles.

Paul Waters

08-09-2004 02:28 PM

Why would we accept advice from a virgin?

:1orglaugh

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