For Pilots ONLY - GoFuckYourself.com

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 08:31 AM

The Pilot and Mechanic

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.
S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it's sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don't step on 'em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: Whole aircraft smells like BBQ
S: Ground Checks OK

P: First class cabin floor has a squeak
S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore

P: Electrical governor is broke
S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano

bringer · 07-04-2004, 08:31 AM

P: enis
S: hitstain

mynetporn · 07-04-2004, 08:38 AM

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mynetporn

Some of them only a pilot would understand but funny as hell... I couldn't stop laughing because some are so TRUE to things that actually happen. The wonderful pilot/mechanic relationship

dodint · 07-04-2004, 08:52 AM

Oldie but Goodie.

mynetporn · 07-04-2004, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
Some of them only a pilot would understand but funny as hell... I couldn't stop laughing because some are so TRUE to things that actually happen. The wonderful pilot/mechanic relationship

I work for some Airlines and I had to send this to my pilot & mechanic friends. Nice post.

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mynetporn
I work for some Airlines and I had to send this to my pilot & mechanic friends. Nice post.

You know of anyone looking for a cargo pilot low hours over 200 multi

mynetporn · 07-04-2004, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
You know of anyone looking for a cargo pilot low hours over 200 multi

Location?
Aircraft Type?

I have done some work for some small (9 Pax) FL to the Carribean Airlines and they seem to be always lookng for pilots.

Chris · 07-04-2004, 09:02 AM

My father is a pilot ... Ill email him what you posted maybe he will understand

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mynetporn
Location?
Aircraft Type?

I have done some work for some small (9 Pax) FL to the Carribean Airlines and they seem to be always lookng for pilots.

Location: Any
Aircraft Type: Anything under 12,500

Have high altitude, highperformance, multi, instrumnet

Manowar · 07-04-2004, 09:06 AM

fucking excellent

mynetporn · 07-04-2004, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
Location: Any
Aircraft Type: Anything under 12,500

Have high altitude, highperformance, multi, instrumnet

ICQ'ing you.

EviLGuY · 07-04-2004, 10:11 AM

Read this before.. but it's still a funny read.

I like the "Live bugs on backorder" bit.

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by EviLGuY
Read this before.. but it's still a funny read.

I like the "Live bugs on backorder" bit.

Yeah that's a good one I like the:

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

LoveHenk · 07-04-2004, 10:14 AM

this is funny, dunno why...

[IMG]http://img32.*******/img32/8515/AirlinersNetPhotoID336520.jpg[/IMG]

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LoveHenk
this is funny, dunno why...

[IMG]http://img32.*******/img32/8515/AirlinersNetPhotoID336520.jpg[/IMG]

http://www.pilotboard.com has some cool photos too

that is a classic, that'll put a spur on your ass to hurry up

Mr Pheer · 07-04-2004, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
http://www.pilotboard.com has some cool photos too

that is a classic, that'll put a spur on your ass to hurry up

notice the small plane's engine is not running

latinasojourn · 07-04-2004, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
You know of anyone looking for a cargo pilot low hours over 200 multi

check help wanted "flight crews" on trade-a-plane.com

new ads every 10 days.

IMO it will be difficult to find work if under 1000 hours in type.

latinasojourn · 07-04-2004, 01:32 PM

not so much because of your lack of time, but in part 135 operations low time in type makes for VERY high insurance rates for a/c owner.

pimplink · 07-04-2004, 08:02 PM

That's funny! too long, though.

ModelBuffet · 07-04-2004, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by latinasojourn
check help wanted "flight crews" on trade-a-plane.com

new ads every 10 days.

IMO it will be difficult to find work if under 1000 hours in type.

You need a subscription to access that section

latinasojourn · 07-04-2004, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelBuffet
You need a subscription to access that section

true.

are you pilot and also photographer? do you own a cessna? if so i know of a year-round job shooting aerials.

pure energy · 07-05-2004, 12:40 AM

I'm a pilot, pilot of a paper airplane!

ModelBuffet · 07-06-2004, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by latinasojourn
true.

are you pilot and also photographer? do you own a cessna? if so i know of a year-round job shooting aerials.

Yes I am a commercial pilot and a professional photographer

07-04-2004, 08:31 AM	#1
ModelBuffet Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 360	For Pilots ONLY The Pilot and Mechanic P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution logged by the mechanic. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for! P: Transponder inoperative. S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode. P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn. S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Radar hums. S: Reprogrammed radar with words. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Radio switches stick S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up S: Company accountant deplaned P: Funny smell in cockpit S: Pilot told to change cologne P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane P: #3 engine knocks at idle S: #3 engine let in for a few beers P: #3 engine runs like it's sick S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover P: Brakes howl on application S: Don't step on 'em so hard! P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow P: Whole aircraft smells like BBQ S: Ground Checks OK P: First class cabin floor has a squeak S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore P: Electrical governor is broke S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano __________________ Wackmeter ICQ 217-133-671 Trade Traffic

07-04-2004, 08:31 AM	#2
bringer i have man boobies Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: van down by the river Posts: 13,082	P: enis S: hitstain __________________ 333-765-551

07-04-2004, 09:02 AM	#9
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	My father is a pilot ... Ill email him what you posted maybe he will understand __________________ [email protected]

07-04-2004, 08:02 PM	#20
pimplink Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Closer than you think Posts: 9,535	That's funny! too long, though. __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!

07-05-2004, 12:40 AM	#23
pure energy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,274	I'm a pilot, pilot of a paper airplane! __________________ Click Here to get $42 a sale AND Get FREE MGP Coaching from WebmasterLabor.Com Sign up above then EMAIL info (( at )) webmasterlabor DOT com for your free 1 to 1 MGP coaching Last edited by pure energy; 07-05-2004 at 12:42 AM..

07-04-2004, 08:38 AM	#3
mynetporn Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: FL Posts: 1,154

07-04-2004, 08:52 AM	#5
dodint Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: SoCal Posts: 131	Oldie but Goodie.

07-04-2004, 09:06 AM	#11
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	fucking excellent

07-04-2004, 10:11 AM	#13
EviLGuY So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: malta Posts: 12,745	Read this before.. but it's still a funny read. I like the "Live bugs on backorder" bit.

07-04-2004, 10:14 AM	#15
LoveHenk Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Netherlands Posts: 308	this is funny, dunno why... [IMG]http://img32.*******/img32/8515/AirlinersNetPhotoID336520.jpg[/IMG]

07-04-2004, 01:32 PM	#19
latinasojourn Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 3,191	not so much because of your lack of time, but in part 135 operations low time in type makes for VERY high insurance rates for a/c owner.