For Pilots ONLY
 

The Pilot and Mechanic

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.
S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it's sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don't step on 'em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: Whole aircraft smells like BBQ
S: Ground Checks OK

P: First class cabin floor has a squeak
S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore

P: Electrical governor is broke
S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano

P: enis
S: hitstain

:1orglaugh

Some of them only a pilot would understand but funny as hell... I couldn't stop laughing because some are so TRUE to things that actually happen. The wonderful pilot/mechanic relationship

Oldie but Goodie. :thumbsup

I work for some Airlines and I had to send this to my pilot & mechanic friends. Nice post.

You know of anyone looking for a cargo pilot low hours over 200 multi

Location?
Aircraft Type?

I have done some work for some small (9 Pax) FL to the Carribean Airlines and they seem to be always lookng for pilots.

My father is a pilot ... Ill email him what you posted maybe he will understand :eek7

Location: Any
Aircraft Type: Anything under 12,500

Have high altitude, highperformance, multi, instrumnet

:1orglaugh fucking excellent

ICQ'ing you.

Read this before.. but it's still a funny read.

I like the "Live bugs on backorder" bit. :thumbsup

Yeah that's a good one I like the:


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

this is funny, dunno why...

[IMG]http://img32.*******/img32/8515/AirlinersNetPhotoID336520.jpg[/IMG]

:1orglaugh http://www.pilotboard.com has some cool photos too

that is a classic, that'll put a spur on your ass to hurry up

notice the small plane's engine is not running

check help wanted "flight crews" on trade-a-plane.com

new ads every 10 days.

IMO it will be difficult to find work if under 1000 hours in type.

not so much because of your lack of time, but in part 135 operations low time in type makes for VERY high insurance rates for a/c owner.

That's funny! too long, though.:)

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true.

are you pilot and also photographer? do you own a cessna? if so i know of a year-round job shooting aerials.

I'm a pilot, pilot of a paper airplane!

Yes I am a commercial pilot and a professional photographer