Is there really such a thing as an OPEN marriage? - GoFuckYourself.com

Yo Adrian · 06-26-2004, 10:33 AM

So I have this friend...

He's been telling me about how his wife has been giving him 'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... he honestly doesn't think she has a problem with him seeing another woman, as long as she's clean and he's safe.

So he tells me he's thinking of taking this chick out for a test drive, asked me if I think he should.

What should I tell him?

AndrewKanuck · 06-26-2004, 10:34 AM

Tell him to video tape it and sell it.

Spunky · 06-26-2004, 10:34 AM

If his wife is cool with it why not?...He should have the same attitude towards her though.

NinjaSteve · 06-26-2004, 10:36 AM

I think he should bring his wife with him.

But seriously, if he's going to do this he'll have to be okay with his wife doing other guys. It just opens up a problematic relationship in my opinion.

jaYMan · 06-26-2004, 10:37 AM

Heh, don't get anywhere near the middle of that.

It may come back to haunt ya!

Jman · 06-26-2004, 10:37 AM

His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma

MrIzzz · 06-26-2004, 10:37 AM

the answer is yes.......

sex is good for the health, the more he has with different women the better his cholesterol, blood pressure, and suger levels will be

Raven · 06-26-2004, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Yo Adrian
So I have this friend...

He's been telling me about how his wife has been giving him 'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... he honestly doesn't think she has a problem with him seeing another woman, as long as she's clean and he's safe.

So he tells me he's thinking of taking this chick out for a test drive, asked me if I think he should.

What should I tell him?

Two things come to mind.

Does he live in a community property state? If so, then tell him no.

And..

I don't know too many women who really 'mean it'.

Muffin · 06-26-2004, 10:38 AM

There's not much to say if a couple is in agreement. If it works for them, then bravo. However, I personally couldn't handle that.....I spent a lifetime looking for the one person with whom I would share my life with......and no one else. To me it seems to defeat the purpose of marriage. However, once again, if it works for them.....then that is all that matters.

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 06-26-2004, 10:39 AM

In all honesty, it all depends on the situation.

I mean, there is such a thing as polygamy, but it HAS to be wanted by BOTH parties. If only one person in the relationship wants it it becomes inbalanced and it's destined to fail. I know 3 couples that have been in open-relationships for at least a year, and they seem content with it. You just need to make sure to have your own rules set and things should work

KRL · 06-26-2004, 10:39 AM

Yes, some couples are wide open when it comes to the fidelity issue.

I think as you get older you get more tolerant of this.

NinjaSteve · 06-26-2004, 10:39 AM

By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?

Yo Adrian · 06-26-2004, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raven

Does he live in a community property state? If so, then tell him no.

Excellent point.

MandyBlake · 06-26-2004, 10:42 AM

I think it's more important that this person actually sits down with his wife and discusses it. "You seem to not have a problem when these things have happened." And go from there. He shouldn't just assume anything. No one talks enough.

Yo Adrian · 06-26-2004, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by NinjaSteve
By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?

From what he tells me she's given him very direct hints that she is fine with the idea

NinjaSteve · 06-26-2004, 10:44 AM

So I wasn't sure what a community property state was so I decided to do some research. Here's what it means for those that don't know:

Holding title to real property is a type of ownership available to married couples only. There are currently nine states which offer community property status. These states are: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. The property laws in these nine states look at property purchased during a marriage as community property and both husband and wife have an equal right to possess the property during their marriage.

ZanyCash Larry · 06-26-2004, 10:45 AM

.001% of the time

Vitasoy · 06-26-2004, 10:45 AM

'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... heh first time I heard of that term

Paul Markham · 06-26-2004, 10:49 AM

It depends on their relationship and how tight it is.

Eva likes girls and 3somes and I don't say no.

She also has no problem with me shooting girls she knows like me, she trusts me 100% and knows I'm not leaving this nest.

But it would have driven my second wife crazy with jealousy.

Diferent woman and a lot less confident in herself and me.

Edguy! · 06-26-2004, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by NinjaSteve
By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?

garett · 06-26-2004, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JMan
His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma

I completely disagree with that. I mean, it's more than possible, but there are people out there who get off on the idea of their partners being with other people... and seriously just don't mind it.

My wife is not ok with me being with other women if she's not there.. but I'm fine with her being with other guys.. it turns me on. I know that sounds insanely weird for most people .. but it's true. And I'm not a hypocrite .. I would never disrespect my wife and cheat on her. But if she's out having a good time and she meets a guy and has a sexual attraction and I'm not there ... then I want her to be happy. It's just sex .. as long as she's safe and he's clean etc. then I don't see the problem. I don't believe that sex and love are one and the same like most people seem to.

Sifu · 06-26-2004, 11:03 AM

We live it everyday, we enjoy other women.

fatal attraction · 06-26-2004, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JMan
His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma

slapass · 06-26-2004, 11:51 AM

"hints"??? Nope don't work to go for a test drive after she hinted. Tell him to sit down and talk to her openly about it.

SykkBoy · 06-26-2004, 11:56 AM

An "open relationship" has to be built on strong mutual trust. If he's thinking of taking ths woman for a testdrive and his wife doesn't know about it, it could threaten that trust. If I were you, I'd advise him to discuss it with his wife as she should have some say in the decision if this is truly an "open relationship".

Johny Traffic · 06-26-2004, 12:04 PM

Quote:

My wife is not ok with me being with other women if she's not there.. but I'm fine with her being with other guys.. it turns me on. I know that sounds insanely weird for most people .. but it's true. And I'm not a hypocrite .. I would never disrespect my wife and cheat on her. But if she's out having a good time and she meets a guy and has a sexual attraction and I'm not there ... then I want her to be happy. It's just sex .. as long as she's safe and he's clean etc. then I don't see the problem. I don't believe that sex and love are one and the same like most people seem to.

I agree with everything here and have the same attitude

Holly · 06-26-2004, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KRL
I think as you get older you get more tolerant of this.

I totally agree. I was just talking about this with someone the other day.

I couldn't have handled it at 20, but if I met someone now and he was a good guy, good to me, etc., I don't think I would freak out if I found out he was getting blow jobs from hookers or having meaningless sex with some tramp. The only worry would be safety/std issues.

I don't think it's much different than masturbation for some men. They female they do it with is almost like a magazine or video... just something to help get them off, then they're through. That's not really an open relationship, I don't guess, but I wouldn't care if that's what he was doing.

Jill_J · 06-26-2004, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NinjaSteve
I think he should bring his wife with him.

But seriously, if he's going to do this he'll have to be okay with his wife doing other guys. It just opens up a problematic relationship in my opinion.

had the same idea

Doctor Dre · 06-26-2004, 01:33 PM

I cannot imagine my girl having sex with another guy ... it would be too fucking weird .

But its everybodys choice

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 06-26-2004, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SykkBoy2
An "open relationship" has to be built on strong mutual trust. If he's thinking of taking ths woman for a testdrive and his wife doesn't know about it, it could threaten that trust. If I were you, I'd advise him to discuss it with his wife as she should have some say in the decision if this is truly an "open relationship".

good advice

Yo Adrian · 06-26-2004, 10:34 PM

Just talked to my buddy and showed him this thread.

He says he's a gambling man.

Crazy.

06-26-2004, 10:33 AM	#1
Yo Adrian Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 6,326	Is there really such a thing as an OPEN marriage? So I have this friend... He's been telling me about how his wife has been giving him 'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... he honestly doesn't think she has a problem with him seeing another woman, as long as she's clean and he's safe. So he tells me he's thinking of taking this chick out for a test drive, asked me if I think he should. What should I tell him? __________________ Adult SEO Partners - Full service Adult SEO Agency serving some of the biggest names in the industry.

06-26-2004, 10:34 AM	#2
AndrewKanuck Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Cleveland & Atlanta Posts: 6,706	Tell him to video tape it and sell it. __________________

06-26-2004, 10:34 AM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	If his wife is cool with it why not?...He should have the same attitude towards her though. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-26-2004, 10:36 AM	#4
NinjaSteve Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 11,089	I think he should bring his wife with him. But seriously, if he's going to do this he'll have to be okay with his wife doing other guys. It just opens up a problematic relationship in my opinion. __________________ ...

06-26-2004, 10:37 AM	#5
jaYMan peace&profit, Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 4,885	Heh, don't get anywhere near the middle of that. It may come back to haunt ya! __________________ peace&profit, jaYMan

06-26-2004, 10:37 AM	#6
Jman Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Canuckstikan Posts: 22,769	His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant. I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma __________________ email: [email protected] Best AI Affiliate Program We also do WL at $0.00 upfront costs FantasyXXX.AI Teams: jean.francois.laverdiere TG: @jman1216

06-26-2004, 10:37 AM	#7
MrIzzz If u touch it, I will cum Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: long island Posts: 22,923	the answer is yes....... sex is good for the health, the more he has with different women the better his cholesterol, blood pressure, and suger levels will be __________________ WHO WANTS TO PLAY GRAB-ASS?

06-26-2004, 10:38 AM	#9
Muffin Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: On The Intracostal! Posts: 568	There's not much to say if a couple is in agreement. If it works for them, then bravo. However, I personally couldn't handle that.....I spent a lifetime looking for the one person with whom I would share my life with......and no one else. To me it seems to defeat the purpose of marriage. However, once again, if it works for them.....then that is all that matters. __________________ Hi-Band Feed \| Low Band Feed

06-26-2004, 10:39 AM	#10
Zoe_Zoebaboe Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sin City Posts: 4,463	In all honesty, it all depends on the situation. I mean, there is such a thing as polygamy, but it HAS to be wanted by BOTH parties. If only one person in the relationship wants it it becomes inbalanced and it's destined to fail. I know 3 couples that have been in open-relationships for at least a year, and they seem content with it. You just need to make sure to have your own rules set and things should work __________________ http://www.myspace.com/jennabea ICQ: 166862923 Email: [email protected]

06-26-2004, 10:39 AM	#11
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	Yes, some couples are wide open when it comes to the fidelity issue. I think as you get older you get more tolerant of this. __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

06-26-2004, 10:42 AM	#14
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	I think it's more important that this person actually sits down with his wife and discusses it. "You seem to not have a problem when these things have happened." And go from there. He shouldn't just assume anything. No one talks enough. __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

06-26-2004, 10:44 AM	#16
NinjaSteve Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 11,089	So I wasn't sure what a community property state was so I decided to do some research. Here's what it means for those that don't know: Holding title to real property is a type of ownership available to married couples only. There are currently nine states which offer community property status. These states are: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. The property laws in these nine states look at property purchased during a marriage as community property and both husband and wife have an equal right to possess the property during their marriage. __________________ ...

06-26-2004, 10:45 AM	#17
ZanyCash Larry Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: California Posts: 1,057	.001% of the time __________________ $45 Per Signup - 60/40 RevShare! 5% Webmaster Referral Bonus Hosted Static Galleries With Recip Link

06-26-2004, 10:45 AM	#18
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... heh first time I heard of that term __________________ [email protected]

06-26-2004, 10:49 AM	#19
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	It depends on their relationship and how tight it is. Eva likes girls and 3somes and I don't say no. She also has no problem with me shooting girls she knows like me, she trusts me 100% and knows I'm not leaving this nest. But it would have driven my second wife crazy with jealousy. Diferent woman and a lot less confident in herself and me. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

06-26-2004, 11:03 AM	#22
Sifu Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,791	We live it everyday, we enjoy other women. __________________ ICQ: 317-769-855

06-26-2004, 11:51 AM	#24
slapass Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Earth Posts: 14,625	"hints"??? Nope don't work to go for a test drive after she hinted. Tell him to sit down and talk to her openly about it.

06-26-2004, 11:56 AM	#25
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	An "open relationship" has to be built on strong mutual trust. If he's thinking of taking ths woman for a testdrive and his wife doesn't know about it, it could threaten that trust. If I were you, I'd advise him to discuss it with his wife as she should have some say in the decision if this is truly an "open relationship". __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

06-26-2004, 10:34 PM	#31
Yo Adrian Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 6,326	Just talked to my buddy and showed him this thread. He says he's a gambling man. Crazy. __________________ Adult SEO Partners - Full service Adult SEO Agency serving some of the biggest names in the industry.