hehe..good one :thumbsup

My wife and I feel that sex is not love. And that's all I'm talking about.. sex and only sex. If she and a guy started hanging out regularly, going on dates, having dinner together on a regular basis etc. then yes I would get insecure. But sex is just sex. It's fun.

How do I deal with other guys being better than me ? I might be weird but I don't have big dick syndrome like most men. Every guy is different and will be better in some ways and worse in others. In fact, I get off on the idea of my wife being with a guy that can pleasure her in ways that I can't. I want her to enjoy herself and be happy. If the guy is worse than me in every way, then why bother ? Why not just fuck me?

It takes a mutual understanding and belief in the separation of sex and love for this to work, of course.

I value experience in a woman. The more the better...

:rasta

If I love who she is, then I am grateful for whatever path got her to that place.

I agree :thumbsup

I require a virgin

As long as she wasn't a total sleep around whore, her past is cool with me.

i'm in an open marriage and all i can do is nod along with you.

Were you with many partners before you were married? Just trying to figure out what made you become comfortable with such thinking. If you had sex with 100s of different people than sex becomes casual, though "most" people do not have 100s of partners, and thus sex and love are tightly connected.

Cheers,
Matt

Hey Trixie Racer you sure your not my x-girlfriend, you sound a lot like her. She was always a tease.

did you grow up on Orange County CA and move to Pheniox AZ about 84?

i guess there are alot of swingers on the board...interesting for sure.

i wont consider a girl for a serious realtionship if she is into double digits..not anymore anyway ;):2 cents:

whatever number they say multiply it by 3, multiply it by 7 if they have a tattoo on the small of their back ;)

swingers and open marriages aren't really the same thing but I understand how from outside it looks that way.

my views are vastly different from yours so i wont bother to pass judgement..lol

but i dont understand the concept of open marriages

nothing wrong with that..different strokes for different folks, etc. I have an open marriage of sorts (it does have rules and we can't just go off with anyone) and yet I bet I have been with less people than most here. Open doesn't = slut..just means the option is there.

I'm bi..so the open marriage stemmed from that.

If you aint careful it will tunr your fingernails black too!

I think for alot of men, it's an ego thing rather than a moral or values issue :2 cents:

:1orglaugh see..I do remember!

It's natural animal/human behaviour.

It's also all based on society's views in your area.

It's dandy to have 12 wives in some places.

Cheers,
Matt

For me it was because my wife had only ever been with me. The only time I ever felt insecure in our marriage was because I was her first. I got very paranoid because she flirt and be "sexual" with other guys, friends of mine, and I was certain that one day she would cheat on me. The more I faced that paranoia the more I came to realization that it actually turned me on to think about her with another guy.

It was very slow but we spoke about swinging. We read about it, talked about etc. It started with casual conversation like if we were out somewhere and she'd notice me looking at another female we'd talk aobut it openly. I can tell her that I'm attracted to other females and she can do the same regarding males etc.

At one point, a couple years ago, she became interested in stripping and we went to a few clubs together to scope them out so she could get an idea of what it was really like etc. and what clubs were "clean" or not. After that it became a regular activity of ours to go to strip clubs together for fun.

We also started going to swing dances and parties etc. And it evolved from there.

We don't actually have an open marriage. We have a "same room" rule. Meaning we only play with other couples together. Group activities etc. I would be ok with an open marriage.. the idea of her being with other guys doesn't bother me .. but she's not that comfortable and that's fine with me.

True..but I think you become less ego driven as you mature. I think I use to care alot more about a woman's past than I do now. I also think that if a woman truly loves you, she is smart, and understand's some men's delicate egos, it's up to her to also make that irrelevant and help make you feel like you're the king of the world.

I just want to add that in my last relationship the girl I was with had been with "many / lots" of guys, however I'm still under two digits - the reason for that is because I am picky for the most part and prefer quality over quantity. Yes, I understand just having sex for sex' sake, that just hasn't been for me. I also don't think you need to be with many people to "know what's out there" - if you're curious, then fine. Sadly, like most relationships that end, you find out something that isn't compatible. Sort of went off on a side.. but alwell.

Cheers,
Matt

if a woman doesn't have a past I start wondering what is the matter with her

What a woman did before she met you really isn't anyone's concern but her's, when it comes right down to it. If you want someone as pure as the virgin snow then go take out a personals ad and ask for that. Otherwise nevermind what your woman did before she met you.


Fuck some guys are retarded.


They want a pure woman, yet they themselves are not pure and have fucked numerous girls, a few skank hoes etc. Unreal.

I agree with you fully. As you mature, ego becomes less of a deal, because that's really all that you should care about - because you protect yourself. That's all maturity seems to be (there are of course many different areas of maturity), that's what I've learned about it - learning how to protect youself / safeguard yourself from all of the crap that exists.

I know I've fucked up, and each situation I have fucked up, I analyze it and try to figure it out. It kills me at times, but I hope I am a better person afterwards, and "more mature."

Something else I've realized is it takes a long time before you actually know someone. Kind of an obvious thing, but to understand it is different.

Cheers,
Matt

This is a golden post. All men should frame this and hang it on their wall and read it. Daily. Thank You.

I agee, it's unreasonable, but would be a nice fantasy eh? Heh.

However, a person's past does give you an idea of that person. It would be naive (and I know I have been naive) to assume that has any bearing on current relations as people change and/or are different in each situation.

Cheers,
Matt

the questions is even for the guys that want a virgin girl, what are the chances u gonna find one that is a virgin, that u like and is over 18?


its unrealistic nowdays

I unfortunately found one the other day. Well, she is cute as hell, I took her out that night and we had a great time...we were holding hands, cuddling in the movie theater, etc etc...laughing and having a GREAT time. Well, I leaned in to kiss her at the end of the night (after we've been holding hands, etc etc all night long) and she stops me and brings me into a 30 minute conversation about religion and she REALLY was NOT happy about me not going to church. I told her I was open to new things, but that didn't cut it. I talked to her the next day and she said it wouldn't be good on her conscience dating someone who doesn't go to church. I was dumbfounded.

FUCK VIRGINS! Too much work to devirginize them.

Not all virgins are church-minded religious judgemental zealots like this girl. Don't confuse the two just because you ran into one religious nutcase.

Some churches have a more relaxed and tolerant teaching..... while many others teach the young girls to be fearful and hold suspicions about every guy that comes along. If you're not a pink-cheeked bible-toting younger version of Ned Flanders yourself then they judge you as "bad" and will not even give you a chance to change no matter if you are willing to or not.

I can honestly say I hate those kinds of bitches. Judgemental holier-than-thou people like that have no place in the kind of heaven I envision.

DUe to the fact that I have such a small cock, I like women who have seen relatively few. That way I don't look like a toddler since she's had nothing to compare me with. :1orglaugh

Does it really matter how many lovers you had before you tied the knot with a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, I think not.:)

I hope she has enough experience to handle me but not enough for me to catch her with a picture like this poor girl...

http://www.dorothys-cum-city.com/dor...25/cohf002.jpg

You never want to know some guy or guys have come on your sweeties face.

EXACTLY.

what a closed-minded reply! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Just my way of thiking but I agree with this. Marriage is a special bond in my eyes.


I disagree with that. I've been married 5 years...married at 19, and have only had sex with my husband. I still enjoy sex with my husband, and I don't crave any other cocks. I don't feel I missed out on anything, and it gets better and better!

Not all are like that! I married my husband knowing he doesn't have one religious bone in his body!!

Hmm, imho, you have a right to know about past unsafe activities, because it affects you personally, in that it can make you sick, potentially fatally. I'm not saying you have to spill every intimate detail but I'd think a potential partner has the right to know you're clean. So to some extent that DOES add up to some details of past experience.

i feel for you... as long as it'sjust me fucking herwhen we start to have a relationship...:)

If he had HIV, herpes, genital warts etc. one is too many

otherwise I don't care.

:1orglaugh

AMEN AMEN AMEN :thumbsup