cornhusker

Yo mama's So Skinny

Yo mama is so skinny, I sat on her lap and broke her leg.

cornhusker

Teepee

Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?


A: He drowned in his teapea.

cornhusker

Fish Market

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.

Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"

Vitasoy

Cornhusker, you need to say good things about CJbucks ;-)

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cornhusker

Shoulda Said

This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''

''Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.''

''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?''

''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''

''Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?''

''Ruff!"

''What the hell you tryin' to pull mister?''

''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''

"Ruth."

The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.

"Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

cornhusker

Equal Opportunity Asphyxiation

Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

cornhusker

Yo Mama's Poor Christmas

Yo Mama is so poor, she told your little siser that Santa Claus was dead.





Total Posts: 399
User Posts
cornhusker 59
NickPapageorgio 48
Joesho 46
The Grim Reaper 39
Reak 17
POV Porn guy 16
Rick Latona 12
Nicky 12
ajpiii 10
inabon 10



For the $10,000 one. But I have plenty of time to do that one.

cornhusker

Lightbulb: Psychiatrist

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.

cornhusker

Divided By A Common Language

The British speech:
"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory, we go to liberate, not to conquer.

We are entering Iraq to free a people, and the only flag that will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Don't treat them as refugees, for they are in their own country. If there are casualties of war, then remember, when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest, for your deeds will follow you down history. Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birth of Abraham. Tread lightly there."

The US speech :

"When the president says 'Go', look out - it's hammer time"

(followed by "We Will Rock You" at high volume)

cornhusker

Getting Weighed

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.

By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

cornhusker

How did Britney Spears...

How did Britney Spears cross the road?
With a magic marker

cornhusker

Flour Patch

Yo mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.

cornhusker

Mariah's Buhbuhbirthday

Next on Entertainment Tonight, celebrity birthdays: Mariah Carey's breasts are 2 years old!

cornhusker

Pound for Pound

Q: What makes five pounds of fat look really good?
A: Nipples

cornhusker

Eyes Wide Shut

Why do women have sex with their eyes closed?
Because they can't stand seeing a man having a good time

cornhusker

Victoria's Five-Legged Secret

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
Her panties fit her like a glove!

Vitasoy

heh, keep it up.

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cornhusker

Yo Mama's Animal Cookies

Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped her face in the batter to make animal cookies.

cornhusker

Yo Mama's Animal Cookies

Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped her face in the batter to make animal cookies.




$150 isn't all that much.. but I'll be a post whore any day for $10gs

cornhusker

Last post for tonight:

Hired Help

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ''Who is this?''

''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.

''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.

The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''

The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''

The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''

The maid says, ''What will I have to do?''

The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''

The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''

Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''

A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309?''

cornhusker

Ok... going to post until 300 so I can leave off at a nice even number.

299

cornhusker

300

cornhusker

O.K.. maybe not..


301

cornhusker

302

cornhusker

303

cornhusker

304

cornhusker

305

cornhusker

306

cornhusker

307

cornhusker

308

fris

frankly i dont have the time to post like an assclown non stop. so why dont you pay me now and get it over with. some people have work to do rather than post all day.

__________________
Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence.


WP Stuff

cornhusker

309

cornhusker

I have a job as well.

I don't post all day.

If you don't want to participate, frankly I could give a shit.

Assclown ---- hypocrite?

cornhusker

311

Oh damn, am I pissing you off?

cornhusker

312

riosluts

not another one of these threads. why are threads like this even allowable on gfy

__________________

Tyson

Raf1

cornhusker is really determined to win this one...

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Jill_J

it`s time to start ban these threads

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Cash Maniacs - around 50 sites, all niches!

cornhusker

Nah, not really, but easy money.

cornhusker

Mel Gibson

What was the working title for Mel Gibson's movie ''The Patriot?''

''Braveheart II: Men in Pants''

cornhusker

Just A Juggalo

A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"

"They're for my juggling act," the man says.

"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.

"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

cornhusker

The True Story

Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his managers but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse 'til finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom.

Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, ?sack my cook.?

And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

cornhusker

You KNOW You're a Redneck

You know you're a redneck when your family tree has only one branch in it, and it loops.

doornx

these thread create huge sigwhores...cornh already go 240 posts a day

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Send me a PM for design work

cornhusker

Laloo Flies the Friendly Skies

Joke from our friends in India...
Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please."

To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.



Sigwhores = people who use signatures.. I don't.

cornhusker

Little Johnny's Big Answer

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

cornhusker

Clinton/Elian Gonzales

Why is Clinton having such a hard time deciding what to do with Elian Gonzalez?
Because the last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.

cornhusker

Yo mama's So Old

Yo' mama so old, she was the only dinosaur they didn't have to animate for Jurassic Park!

cornhusker

The Blonde and the Deodorant

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. ''I'm sorry,'' says the pharmacist, ''we don't have any.''
''But I always get it here,'' says the blonde.

''Do you have the container it comes in?''

''Yes!'' says the blonde, ''I will go and get it.''

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, ''This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.''

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: ''To apply, push up bottom.''