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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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Thread Tools |
01-19-2001, 09:24 PM
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#1 |
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Old Timer
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 12,208
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The Truth About Showering
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note-must do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10.Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off). 11.Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12.Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13.Turn off shower. 14.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15.Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16.Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. 17.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18.If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. 9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 10.Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area. 11.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar. 12.Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner) 13.Make a shampoo Mohawk. 14.Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. 15.Pee (in the shower). 16.Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17.Partially dry off. 18.Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again. 19.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 20.Leave bathroom fan and light on. 21.Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again. 22.Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. ------------------ PigPorn TGP Big Penis Webmaster Program - Free Bannerless Hosting! |
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01-19-2001, 09:37 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: South of sobriety
Posts: 582
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Showering is for wussies.
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. Just remember to go outside, that's all. ------------------ I shot the sheriff... but the fucking deputy got away. |
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01-19-2001, 11:39 PM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,560
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LOL but you forgot the jack off while the stream of water is hitting your weiner & seeing how far you shoot your load.
------------------ Moongem Erotica Moongem Fiction |
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01-20-2001, 10:43 PM
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#4 |
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Old Timer
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 12,208
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Ack! Too much info Jamdin...
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01-20-2001, 11:46 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,570
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stupid human fact:
Did you guys know Joh Holmes didnt take showers? He hated it. |
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01-21-2001, 11:05 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,092
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01-23-2001, 10:42 AM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Rainforest
Posts: 182
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Hehe.
Yeah but Jamdin, you forgot the bit where you draw a target on the wall with your wife's lipstick. So when you shoot your load, you have something to aim for! |
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01-23-2001, 02:44 PM
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#8 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,560
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Nope, I didn't forget since I don't have a wife...
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01-23-2001, 02:53 PM
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#9 |
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Old Timer
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 12,208
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Use your boyfriend's lipstick then jamdin.
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01-23-2001, 03:52 PM
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#10 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,560
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Nope, don't have a boyfriend either
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12-11-2003, 09:47 AM
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#11 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 121
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Bump. ;)
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