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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note-must do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm
cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and
Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's
clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit
Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen
minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot
facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger
Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10.Rinse conditioner off hair (you must
make sure that it has all come off).
11.Shave armpits and legs. Consider
shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed instead.
12.Scream loudly when your husband flushed
the toilet and you lose the water
pressure.
13.Turn off shower.
14.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
15.Get out of shower. Dry with towel the
size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16.Check entire body for the remotest sign
of a zit, tweeze hairs.
17.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing
gown and towel on head.
18.If you see your husband along the way,
cover up any exposed areas and then
sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a
half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the
edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see
your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror
and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth
(you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let
the water just rinse it off.
9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds
in the shower.
10.Majority of time is spent washing your
privates and surrounding area.
11.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse
butt hairs on the soap bar.
12.Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner)
13.Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14.Peek out of shower curtain to look at
yourself in the mirror again.
15.Pee (in the shower).
16.Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17.Partially dry off.
18.Look at yourself in the mirror, flex
muscles. Admire wiener size again.
19.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath
mat on the floor.
20.Leave bathroom fan and light on.
21.Return to the bedroom with towel around
your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
22.Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2
minutes to get dressed.

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