Just a few jokes ..... - GoFuckYourself.com

directfiesta · 05-13-2004, 09:59 AM

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.

Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, kind, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase
cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap."

Raf1 · 05-13-2004, 10:03 AM

some of them made me smile

DR_PHIL · 05-13-2004, 10:07 AM

EviLGuY · 05-13-2004, 10:10 AM

LoriAnderson · 05-13-2004, 10:14 AM

cute ones

kimzar · 05-13-2004, 11:20 AM

couple of funny ones in there

iDiz · 05-13-2004, 11:23 AM

Jakke PNG · 05-13-2004, 11:24 AM

I miss [labret]'s replies to these threads, and his jokes.

Goose · 05-13-2004, 11:25 AM

I'm laughing in advance:

ALiEn_OuT · 05-13-2004, 11:26 AM

thank you for lightening the mood

punker barbie · 05-13-2004, 11:27 AM

LOL thanks for sharing

axelcat · 05-13-2004, 11:28 AM

Lucy · 05-13-2004, 11:42 AM

What about this?

Two women and a man escaped from prison. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn; they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three sacks and decided to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him "just three sacks". The sheriff then told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the first woman in it, and she said "Bow-wow" so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the second woman in it and she said "Meow". The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the man in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again, and the man said, "Potatoes."

alexg · 05-13-2004, 12:07 PM

pretty funny

TweetyBird · 05-13-2004, 12:09 PM

hehe, funny

Firehorse · 05-14-2004, 09:53 AM

Thanks for the laugh!

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 05-14-2004, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lucy
What about this?

05-13-2004, 09:59 AM	#1
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,785	Just a few jokes ..... What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, kind, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? Bingo machine. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex, too. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap." __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

05-13-2004, 10:03 AM	#2
Raf1 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Writer for hire :) Gallery descriptions, articles, blog posts etc. ICQ: 209 356 106 Posts: 12,117	some of them made me smile __________________ 80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds 3 & 5mins FLVs \| RSS & Tube Feeds \| Matching Thumbs \| FLV Browser & Exporter \| No Prechecked Xsales >> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557

05-13-2004, 10:14 AM	#5
LoriAnderson Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: USA Posts: 1,713	cute ones __________________ Luv Lori xoxo LotzaDollars Dream-Cash Guy-Dollars Skype: Lori-Anderson

05-13-2004, 11:23 AM	#7
iDiz Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: EarnCoin.com Posts: 1,522	__________________ Just Earn it... Click Here To EarnCoin.com ! eMail : support[@]earncoin.com \| Mad ratio with EarnCoin.com 100% U N I Q U E & EXCLUSIVE SITES

05-13-2004, 11:24 AM	#8
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	I miss [labret]'s replies to these threads, and his jokes. __________________ ..and I'm off.

05-13-2004, 10:07 AM	#3
DR_PHIL Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Never visits the same thread twice Posts: 4,099

05-13-2004, 10:10 AM	#4
EviLGuY So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: malta Posts: 12,745

05-13-2004, 11:20 AM	#6
kimzar Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Your Mother's Snatch! Posts: 1,874	couple of funny ones in there

05-13-2004, 11:25 AM	#9
Goose Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: --------Europe------- Posts: 5,725	I'm laughing in advance: __________________ ICQ: 52410619

05-13-2004, 11:26 AM	#10
ALiEn_OuT Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Calgary AB Canada Posts: 577	thank you for lightening the mood

05-13-2004, 11:27 AM	#11
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,228	LOL thanks for sharing __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

05-13-2004, 11:28 AM	#12
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

05-13-2004, 11:42 AM	#13
Lucy Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,969	What about this? Two women and a man escaped from prison. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn; they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three sacks and decided to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him "just three sacks". The sheriff then told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the first woman in it, and she said "Bow-wow" so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the second woman in it and she said "Meow". The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the man in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again, and the man said, "Potatoes." __________________ http://www.adultczechcontent.com ICQ: 288414057 email: [email protected]

05-13-2004, 12:07 PM	#14
alexg IL4L.com Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Israel - ICQ: 162136565 Posts: 11,287	pretty funny __________________ Find fuck buddies in your area!

05-13-2004, 12:09 PM	#15
TweetyBird Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Canadian this !!! Posts: 8,532	hehe, funny __________________ sig for sale. ICQ :338213644

05-14-2004, 09:53 AM	#16
Firehorse Desire it and have it!!! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.fuckwithfire.com ICQ 512915 Posts: 30,767	Thanks for the laugh! __________________ MySweetEbony