Just a few jokes .....
 

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity



What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.



What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.


Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, kind, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase
cars they have no intention of driving.


What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.


What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"



What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap."

some of them made me smile :glugglug

:thumbsup

:winkwink: :thumbsup

cute ones :) :1orglaugh

couple of funny ones in there :)

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

I miss [labret]'s replies to these threads, and his jokes.

I'm laughing in advance: :1orglaugh

:) thank you for lightening the mood :winkwink:

LOL thanks for sharing :)

:1orglaugh

What about this?


Two women and a man escaped from prison. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn; they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three sacks and decided to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him "just three sacks". The sheriff then told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the first woman in it, and she said "Bow-wow" so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the second woman in it and she said "Meow". The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the man in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again, and the man said, "Potatoes."
:1orglaugh

pretty funny :thumbsup

hehe, funny :thumbsup

Thanks for the laugh! :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh