porn's social stigma

[xenigo]

So I've strayed from the societal norm and taken the perspective that the porn industry is a perfectly normal thing to do for a living, I've lost tons and tons of friends... potential friends... future friends... old friends. I let it be known that I do porn, I guess that's my problem. I guess I find it hard to exist in such a hypocritical society, where the porn industry is huge, profits are huge, and yet people are content to keep any mention of it hush hush. Enough of this stupid bullshit.

Fuck the people that think porn isn't meant to be talked about, that the adult industry is somehow below every other industry.

Fuck the people that stash piles upon piles of magazines and videos under their bed and then have the balls to tell me it's wrong to produce it, that it's not legitimate.

Fuck the people that think the people who participate in this industry are somehow lesser people, and don't deserve the rights of people participating in "legitmate" occupations.

How do you guys cope with this shit. I guess I see things from a more hardcore perspective than most of GFY because I actually work with models, and I'm the guy that does some dirty work. I don't just sit behind a computer and arrange traffic trades. I try to brush this shit off and pretend like it doesn't matter to me, but holey shit. I can only take so much of society's hypocrisy. I can only take so much of the double standards people live by. It may be a simple thing to hide that you're a porn webmaster, but it's not so easy to hide being a pornographer. Even if I don't tell people, it still comes through... people eventually find out from someone, somewhere. I almost wish I could make porn mainstream, but in another respect I know this would dillute the significance of the business I've created. I know I can't have it both ways...

Anyway, how do you cope with this nonsense we all deal with?

[hydro]

if they dont approve it then i move on, no need to worry about the playa haters

[BRISK]

It could be worse, imagine being in the assisted suicide industry?

[RicardoB]

Real simple if they don't like what I am doing I'm sure they can find their way out.

Either take me as I am of GFY

Use that as your life's guide and you won't have a problem.

Ask yourself this would you even want "Friends" like that?

I don't

[skinnay]

i was good friends with this girl, i told her i was starting some porn sites, she was like "eeeewwwww" and wouldnt talk to me again. i hate stupid bitches like that. most of society are stupid peices of shit, sometimes they even seem like decent people, but letting people know you're in the porn biz just sorts them out faster, i guess..

[boardersweetie]

Is your ex and her parents giving you shit again? tell them and get over it.

[samuel]

I thinnk I can understand your feeling, even when I'm not so directly exposed like you, with models and dirty job as you said in your post, but I think that we have to manage and just going on in this industry if you really think it will work for you.

Just go on!...

Samuel

[xenigo]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
Is your ex and her parents giving you shit again? tell them and get over it.

no, it's nothing in particular. I'm just stressed out and fed up. I guess it's the fact that the only people I find solace in are the people of this industry. Seems as if the people I'm close to in this industry are better friends than anyone I have in the non-porn world. No judgemental bullshit, no ultimatums, no lectures, just good people that understand.

[Bessie]

I would like to know what percentages of the models are ok with what they do and what percentage feel like shit after??
Any thoughts. I mean I am not averse to being nude or even having sex on cam but not sure if the world saw me taking it up the ass if it would be that great for the self esteem. Sadly society says that nudity and public displays of sex are taboo. I beg to differ but other people?s opinions none the less do affect us.
xx Bessie
www.bessiebardot.com

[AaronM]

Originally posted by xenigo
Fuck the people that think porn isn't meant to be talked about, that the adult industry is somehow below every other industry.

Fuck the people that stash piles upon piles of magazines and videos under their bed and then have the balls to tell me it's wrong to produce it, that it's not legitimate.

Fuck the people that think the people who participate in this industry are somehow lesser people, and don't deserve the rights of people participating in "legitmate" occupations.

That about sums it up.

Go back and ask those people how their retirement investments are doing since 9-11.

Porn will become more mainstream. That can not be stopped at this point. The down side is that by doing so, it brings our industry to the attention of people who want to shut it down.

Apparently the US Government has found it more important to wage a war on porn than to invest their money in our failing public school systems.

Go figure.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by xenigo
no, it's nothing in particular. I'm just stressed out and fed up. I guess it's the fact that the only people I find solace in are the people of this industry. Seems as if the people I'm close to in this industry are better friends than anyone I have in the non-porn world. No judgemental bullshit, no ultimatums, no lectures, just good people that understand.

[pure energy]

Originally posted by xenigo
no, it's nothing in particular. I'm just stressed out and fed up. I guess it's the fact that the only people I find solace in are the people of this industry. Seems as if the people I'm close to in this industry are better friends than anyone I have in the non-porn world. No judgemental bullshit, no ultimatums, no lectures, just good people that understand.

At least you still got somewhere to turn to.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by xenigo
no, it's nothing in particular. I'm just stressed out and fed up. I guess it's the fact that the only people I find solace in are the people of this industry. Seems as if the people I'm close to in this industry are better friends than anyone I have in the non-porn world. No judgemental bullshit, no ultimatums, no lectures, just good people that understand.

It's fun to watch you grow.

[Johny Traffic]

porn will get more exceptable

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM


Apparently the US Government has found it more important to wage a war on porn than to invest their money in our failing public school systems.

Go figure.

There's a lot of useless crap they invest $ in that should go to schools. Think of all the lame anti-marijuana comercials... not to mention all the $ that goes into prisons. I'm moving to Canada.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by Bessie
I mean I am not averse to being nude or even having sex on cam but not sure if the world saw me taking it up the ass if it would be that great for the self esteem.

Being the nice guy that I am.....If you need any off camera practice time with the above part...Feel free to contact me.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
There's a lot of useless crap they invest $ in that should go to schools. Think of all the lame anti-marijuana comercials... not to mention all the $ that goes into prisons. I'm moving to Canada.

Canada seems like a good option. Let's buy a block there and resell the homes to people in our own business only.

[xenigo]

Originally posted by Bessie
I would like to know what percentages of the models are ok with what they do and what percentage feel like shit after??
Any thoughts. I mean I am not averse to being nude or even having sex on cam but not sure if the world saw me taking it up the ass if it would be that great for the self esteem. Sadly society says that nudity and public displays of sex are taboo. I beg to differ but other people?s opinions none the less do affect us.
xx Bessie

Thank you Bessie for not spamming your picture in the thread. I'm not exactly in the position to ask my models how they feel about modeling, because any question like that would surely inspire thought about the subject, and negative thoughts tend to decrease the chances of models continuing to work for me. I try to just let it be, and not question their motives. I don't ask questions, I just figure they have their reasons, and it's probably not my money although on occasion it is. In my opinion I think people are acting out some kind of sexual desire to display themselves for everyone to see. It's a fantasy for almost all of the models I work wtih, and not a negative thing. It's a turn on, and not something I really understand.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM
Canada seems like a good option. Let's buy a block there and resell the homes to people in our own business only.

Sounds like fun, we should get together and work on that. Can you imagine the block parties??

[AaronM]

Originally posted by xenigo
Thank you Bessie for not spamming your picture in the thread. I'm not exactly in the position to ask my models how they feel about modeling, because any question like that would surely inspire thought about the subject, and negative thoughts tend to decrease the chances of models continuing to work for me. I try to just let it be, and not question their motives. I don't ask questions, I just figure they have their reasons, and it's probably not my money although on occasion it is. In my opinion I think people are acting out some kind of sexual desire to display themselves for everyone to see. It's a fantasy for almost all of the models I work wtih, and not a negative thing. It's a turn on, and not something I really understand.

When it seemed that you have taken one step forward...You post this shit and take 2 steps back.

There is nothing wrong with talking to your models about this biz. You can bet your ass that I make damn sure they know exactly what they are getting into before they even get undressed. I would rather talk a girl out of this business than have her crying on my doorstep because I got her into it.

Believe it or not...At least one attractive girl in your area turns 18 each day. There is a never ending stream of possible models and no need to feed the negative stereotype of a pornographer by not "caring" about your models.

If you can sense that one girl is not really OK with what she is doing then let her go and find one who is.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
Sounds like fun, we should get together and work on that. Can you imagine the block parties??

I have been talking about this for years. Eventually, it will probably happen. The problem is finding one location that enough people can agree on and also keeping the cost of houses within reach of everybodies finances. The trailer I can afford might not look too hot next to the house that you can afford.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM
When it seemed that you have taken one step forward...You post this shit and take 2 steps back.

There is nothing wrong with talking to your models about this biz. You can bet your ass that I make damn sure they know exactly what they are getting into before they even get undressed. I would rather talk a girl out of this business than have her crying on my doorstep because I got her into it.

Believe it or not...At least one attractive girl in your area turns 18 each day. There is a never ending stream of possible models and no need to feed the negative stereotype of a pornographer by not "caring" about your models.

If you can sense that one girl is not really OK with what she is doing then let her go and find one who is.

Girls? who said anything about his models being girls??

[PornoMan]

yeah the stigma really sucks... fucking hypocrites is right

[AaronM]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
Girls? who said anything about his models being girls??

Is he shooting gay stuff again?

Last he and I spoke, it was girls.

Apply the same rules to guys. A model is a model is a person.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM
I have been talking about this for years. Eventually, it will probably happen. The problem is finding one location that enough people can agree on and also keeping the cost of houses within reach of everybodies finances. The trailer I can afford might not look too hot next to the house that you can afford.

oh trust me, i'd be the one with the trailer. maybe build a dynamic community. like the condo complexes with all different size houses. so the price depends on the number of rooms. my hometown has some nice condos that work like that and are dirt cheap.

[xenigo]

Originally posted by AaronM
When it seemed that you have taken one step forward...You post this shit and take 2 steps back.

There is nothing wrong with talking to your models about this biz. You can bet your ass that I make damn sure they know exactly what they are getting into before they even get undressed. I would rather talk a girl out of this business than have her crying on my doorstep because I got her into it.

Believe it or not...At least one attractive girl in your area turns 18 each day. There is a never ending stream of possible models and no need to feed the negative stereotype of a pornographer by not "caring" about your models.

If you can sense that one girl is not really OK with what she is doing then let her go and find one who is.

I really respect your approach on this Aaron, I'll try to figure out my models thoughts on the subject before I shoot them. I just don't normally mention the subject because so many people are on the fringe of their decision, and there's such a lack of models in my current location as is. One of the many reasons I'm moving the business to the bay area.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM
Is he shooting gay stuff again?

Last he and I spoke, it was girls.

Apply the same rules to guys. A model is a model is a person.

last he and i spoke it was guys. so the question is, who talked to him last??

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by xenigo
I really respect your approach on this Aaron, I'll try to figure out my models thoughts on the subject before I shoot them. I just don't normally mention the subject because so many people are on the fringe of their decision, and there's such a lack of models in my current location as is. One of the many reasons I'm moving the business to the bay area.

You aren't in SF yet? jeez boy, get it together!!

[AaronM]

Originally posted by xenigo
I really respect your approach on this Aaron, I'll try to figure out my models thoughts on the subject before I shoot them. I just don't normally mention the subject because so many people are on the fringe of their decision, and there's such a lack of models in my current location as is. One of the many reasons I'm moving the business to the bay area.

You are one of the few that I will actually take some time to try to help. Let me know when you are settled into SF and maybe I can fly down and we can talk...If you are shooting gay stuff then we may even be able to do some business together in a few months.

[xenigo]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
You aren't in SF yet? jeez boy, get it together!!

One of the reasons I'm so pissed off right now is that I'm dealing with landlords that are discriminating against me because of my business. It's making it quite difficult to complete the move, even in a liberal city such as SF. Seems most property owners are quite conservative. I'm going to be on the phone with the Housing Commission tomorrow morning to see what my legal options are with this situation.

[xenigo]

Originally posted by AaronM
You are one of the few that I will actually take some time to try to help. Let me know when you are settled into SF and maybe I can fly down and we can talk...If you are shooting gay stuff then we may even be able to do some business together in a few months.

That would be great Aaron, thank you for the very generous offer. I'll give you a call soon.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by xenigo
One of the reasons I'm so pissed off right now is that I'm dealing with landlords that are discriminating against me because of my business. It's making it quite difficult to complete the move, even in a liberal city such as SF. Seems most property owners are quite conservative. I'm going to be on the phone with the Housing Commission tomorrow morning to see what my legal options are with this situation.

You told them you shoot porn? Wrong move.

I am a multimedia producer.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by xenigo
One of the reasons I'm so pissed off right now is that I'm dealing with landlords that are discriminating against me because of my business. It's making it quite difficult to complete the move, even in a liberal city such as SF. Seems most property owners are quite conservative. I'm going to be on the phone with the Housing Commission tomorrow morning to see what my legal options are with this situation.

I'm sorry to hear that sweetie. If I were in that situation I'd lie about my occupation. You have to reach a point where you admit the social stigma is going to fuck you over.

[boardersweetie]

Originally posted by AaronM
You told them you shoot porn? Wrong move.

I am a multimedia producer.

damn, you beat me to it... that was gonna be my advice.

Multimedia Producer is a pretty slick way of twisting words. Very clever.

[xenigo]

Originally posted by AaronM
You told them you shoot porn? Wrong move.

I am a multimedia producer.

Actually I've never mentioned porn, but I've said I'm a photographer. They usually follow that up with the question "what kind of photography?", to which I answer "portraits". I'll call to check on the status of the application, and we'll go through the same series of questions. As if the first answers I gave them weren't good enough. The road blocks never seem to end.

Since my bank statements, credit report and business description weren't enough for them, they wanted to see a detailed list of who I do business with. I listed it out for them clearly, and the amounts I make when I work for them, and the frequency I work for them. Somehow I think they figured out the references were porn related because I never get a call back from these people when I leave messages, and they pretend as if I'll not realize the application is taking an eternity to process.

[xclusive]

If you are ashamed of the business get the fuck out if you are not lets build it to be better and bigger than ever and do it with some strong ethics. From my experiance there are many more aholes in mainstream biz.

[AaronM]

Speaking of sexy bitches?...

[NiTe-HaWk]

i was good friends with this girl, i told her i was starting some porn sites, she was like "eeeewwwww" and wouldnt talk to me again. i hate stupid bitches like that. most of society are stupid peices of shit, sometimes they even seem like decent people, but letting people know you're in the porn biz just sorts them out faster, i guess..

I have had girls do the same to me. My parents complain day and night about it when I go see them. People think you are a bad person because of your job. My parents get all biblical about how it is wrong and crap.

All I have to say is to all the people that don't like it or don't like me for it. I don't care if you like it. It is my life and if you judge me on this I don't need you around.
I also tell my parents judge not lest you be judged.

Also most of the people I talk to who do this are better friends then most of the people who don't.

I also tell the people I meet I am in this business so they can get their problems with it taken care of or move on to somebody else who isn't evil like me.

[Paul Markham]

Originally posted by xenigo
no, it's nothing in particular. I'm just stressed out and fed up. I guess it's the fact that the only people I find solace in are the people of this industry. Seems as if the people I'm close to in this industry are better friends than anyone I have in the non-porn world. No judgemental bullshit, no ultimatums, no lectures, just good people that understand.

Welcome to the porno world. Outcasts who supply them kicks.

Have not had a friend outside this industry since 1987.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by charly
Welcome to the porno world. Outcasts who supply them kicks.

Have not had a friend outside this industry since 1987.

You don't have any friends INSIDE the industry.

[MobileMark]

Originally posted by AaronM
You don't have any friends INSIDE the industry.

oh i dunno....the way you and he were sniping at each other in Dam, you seem to be like an old married couple

[tgp-guru]

Pornography debate

IDK if im breaking the rules on this one. If I am, sorry.

[Paul Markham]

Originally posted by MobileMark
oh i dunno....the way you and he were sniping at each other in Dam, you seem to be like an old married couple

We are married, we just did not invite you to the wedding.

[Raven]

I'm a marketing consultant. I don't tell people outside of my circle what I do for a living.

First, it invites too many wannabes who think I can make them a millionaire in a day.

Second, most people don't want porn rubbed in their faces. They want to rub one out in privacy and relative anonymity.

I love the fact that America is so prudish and I don't want porn to become so mainstream that people are immune to it; or worse, numb.

I don't want to fight the uneducated, the suppressed and repressed individuals who go to church on Sunday and join my sites Sunday night.

I want them to be steeped in their ignorance. Let them be neurotic and fetish'd and kinky....and let them keep it a secret from their loved ones. Works much better for my sales.

As to friends? I've made some wonderful friends online, whom I see regularly, thanks to AaronM, who forced me out of my house to local webmaster gatherings, rather than just attending the big shows.