That is whacked out

The grass is always greener on the other side.

:thumbsup

The other morning I was sitting at the cafe having breakfast, and I saw this young couple trying to get their two young kids into the car. They had all this shit like prams, matching little baby bags with all that baby stuff in them, and I watched them get into the car and drive off kind of solemnly. They both looked trapped, and kind of dead inside. It was kind of an epiphany, it made me realise that that's what I absolutely don't want. I want to be free to have adventures, not have the next 20 years of my life stretching ahead of me as an endless chasm of tedium and "quiet desperation."

lol... it took him 4 years to figure that out?

i will NEVER get married... there is just no point in it for me unless you want to have kids... and i dont want kids... ive heard countless COUNTLESS countless tales of how guys i know were dating these girls and oh man the girl was so cool, never hassled them... never bugged them over petty shit or anything and then they got married and they notice the changes INSTANTLY... shit i remember on my cousins wedding night when his wife let the bitch out for the 1st time... girls know how to play the game until they get what they want because they know that after they get that ring on their finger that they will be in the drivers seat... ive seen a lot of married couples and 90% of the time the guys are pussywhipped big time, 9% of the time the guys are in the drivers seat and are "abusive" white trash dirtbag bums, and the other 1% are people who are happily married

there are people who have great marriages but they are in a tiny minority... 60% of married people get divorced, the ones that stick together just tolerate eachother for the most part because they fear divorce and property loss

anyway theres just no reason for people to get married... its just something society pushes on people... you can have just about everything you have being married without getting married... you really dont gain anything by being married other than the risk of losing a lot of money and property if you get divorced... ive heard the argument that "when people are married they have so much more at stake so they really work harder to make things work"... i say bullshit: when you are married you work just hard enough to keep things going because you are trapped... when you are unmarried i think you work harder to keep someone

anyway im fuckin drunk and probably off on 12 different tangents so ill stop now

Been living with my other half over 6 years now and things are great.

Yet I have friends that have gone through husbands like underwear, its silly.

Remember this.... She gets half!

I've been married for about 8 years with kids and I'd say the same. People get married for the pressure put on them or because it is the right thing to do or because they don't want to be lonely.

I have to admit I do miss the days when I didn't have these responsibilites.

damn.... lots of good comments

my friend who is 22 told me today he plans to propose to his girlfriend of 3 years soon, and possibly get married next year. I think he's nuts.

couldn't have said it better. everytime I see screaming 3 year olds in the mall, I thank god thats not me having to deal with it every day.

Sure live it up for a while. But there is a time to get married. You obviously havent felt the right feeling yet. Maybe the time will come for you one day.

50 trapped souls

Solid advice for sure.



The bad part about having kids, getting married, and falling in love (in whatever order it might happen to you) is eventually it's going to get really fucked up and turn into a big ass mess. If you believe statistics anyway.

It's enough of a pain in the ass to get a divorce when there are no kids involved and both of you are cool with the divorce.... I couldn't imagine going through one the dirty way -- with kids and high drama. Omfg.

So just be "married" without the paper.

Oh.. also be sure you maintain a seperate residence for your "wife" in the middle of your realtionship for a year or so to avoid common law marriages - paying ~12k for a year could be a lot cheaper than waking up one day and being legally married. :)


Note: Then again I am not an attorney... I'm not sure how common law marriages work and how to avoid them exactly.

he said he was married for 4 years . . .. how much more of a reason do you need?

Better question . . . how old was he when he got married?

It sounds like he married the wrong person. True, married life is not for everyone, but there are a lot of people who are married and stay happy.

Being free is not the best thing in life either...it gets pretty lonely.

You just have to be sure of what you're getting into before you jump right into marriage.

marriage isn't what it used to be.

never said that.

But the thread title is "My friend has been married for 4 years (+kid), today he told me..."

short term memory loss problem? read the title of the thread

I guess I read too much into the title

Okay, but it's still not a good argument.
Most marriages trun into disaster sooner or later.

The dirty rugrats as your saying right now is my most wonderfull thing in my life, I don't know about marriage cause I'm not married, but I know one thing,if dre ever leave me or we descide to go seperate way's, I will keep my stuff that I bought and he will keep his things. I don't need a man to pay for my things, if I want something I will buy it, and if we buy something together if its something he needs I'll let him have it or will split 50/50.

I hate WOMENS THAT TAKE ADVENTAGE ON MEN'S AND TAKE EVERYTHING OUT WHEN THEY BREAKE UP. Those women are a disgrace.

I think he married the wrong one.

getting married is for fools !

I like variety, no way I could have the same old pussy every day... actually every month, I hear married guys dont get laid...

...... unless, she signs a prenup

Marriage is what you make it. Its all in your and the other person.

It is not magical every night and day. There are hard times.

It is not depressing all the time. There are magical times.

At the end of the day, you have to be honest and accept this person 110%. You have to put this person's needs wants and desires ahead of yours and also, be able to find time to be able to fulfill your own needs wants and desires ( all within reason)

Honesty no matter how brutal at times is needed. Its going to make the difference between years of agony or years of joy.

My friends are at the age where their kids are 5-6-7 and they are mostly all talking about " why did we get married at 22?" " were only together for our kids, etc"....yet they still go home to each other......

The living of a lie is what kills the marriage. The Marriage is not the end point that makes everything great in your lives, Its the beginning of the ride.

marriage sucks :2 cents:

Nice words KRL, a bit of wisdom to the younger generation!

Marriage is a huge committment

Every night I dream of being single.

This is not a joke. I am being literal.

so the best advice is....??? : Don't get married...just fuck around :Graucho

Dude that fucking sucks, you have my most utmost sympathies. :(

That's the problem when people marry too young, or marry only because of kids, or any of those reasons.. It isn't always like that, and children aren't a curse. It depends on how ready someone is mentally and emotionally for the whole situation, and how solid their relationship is. Some people who are married and start to have problems think that having children will solve their problems, not realizing that children can make a bad situation more difficult with the added stresses of more time and money needing to be involved in them, etc.

It's sad so many people write off the opportunities that present themselves through their lives because of incorrect biases like this. Then again, when people ARE ready, generally their minds change. If you would have told any of jact's friends he'd be the married father of three they would have told you you were fucking crazy, that he hated children and would be the worst father in the universe. They couldn't be more wrong.

But think of the time after your kids grow up and you see them succeed in life and know that you made them. Its life, if no one got married and had kids then the world would end.

hmmm..... sounds good

I see alot of pessimism in this thread. People want a sure thing, a bet on life they can't lose. They speak of 50% of marriages failing and of knowing friends who live in misery. That still leaves 50% of the marriages that survive and friends that are leading healthy, happy relationships.

I am married (4 years now after dating for 4 years) and glad to be. I have two sons (1/3 yo) that I adore. My life has been completely transformed (so true KRL) and my only regret is not starting just a bit earlier in life (im 37 now)with being a husband and a father.

You use this proverb to say that the things other people have or their situations always look better than your own,
even when they are not really so.

It is often shortened to "The grass is greener on the other side," or even 'The grass is greener."

- http://humanities.byu.edu/elc/studen...rbs/grass.html


Why not fuck some other girls to get it out of your system....then you will be much happier. Make sure the other girl you fuck has as much to lose as you do.

Go here to learn how to seduce women...
http://fastseduction.com/guide/

The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

How old are you? I'm guessing under 30. I'm 35, and in the past two years I've gained 25 lbs topping out at 205lbs. I'm fighting to loose weight.

Your talking like women are the only ones who gain weight. Take a look at the average forty year old man - It's not pretty.

Nah, I plan to get married not too soon tho.

All men say that AFTER theyve gotten married because they feel trapped or tied down

The average 40-year-old man has been married for 10-15 years and has no reason to keep himself going.

But these men shouldn't have even considered marriage in their 20s and 30s.

Stay in shape, make and save money, sportfuck American women till you are in your forties. Then marry a hot 25 year old woman and have a child with her. Why waste your youth? There is absolutely no reason for men to even start thinking about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s.