Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards rejects that never made it into print ..
 

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now
that you've come into my life...

(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.



2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you



3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.



4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll
probably need it again.



5. Someday I hope to marry...

(Inside card) - Someone other than you.



6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!



7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me..

(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.



8. We've been friends for a very long time...

(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?



9. I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.



10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...

(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?



11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.



12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday...

(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.



13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennesee, Kentucky and West Virginia)



14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

(Inside card) - What was I thinking?



15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...


(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband, Live long and prosper.

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh Those are fuggin great!

You got some good ones