Is watching porn 'cheating' on your lover? - GoFuckYourself.com

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 04:03 PM

What do you think? Are you cheating on your lover by whipping it out to some movie or how about the live shows?

I've had some friction with my wife over this for years, strangely enough 95% of times I jerk it to some girl that looks like my wife but it's only because she is a total redhead hottie

SENSEX · 03-04-2004, 04:05 PM

no it is not cheating. If she can't live with that, DIVORCE

Rorschach · 03-04-2004, 04:06 PM

Of course it's not cheating. Think of the alternative - going and having filthy hotel whore sex... although that's not cheating either as long as you don't get caught.

beemk · 03-04-2004, 04:06 PM

if you gotta watch porn shes doing something wrong

brizzad · 03-04-2004, 04:06 PM

nah its cool

me and my g/f watch it together

finlo · 03-04-2004, 04:07 PM

i don't think its cheating...there are worse things

Paul Waters · 03-04-2004, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironhorse
What do you think? Are you cheating on your lover by whipping it out to some movie or how about the live shows?

I've had some friction with my wife over this for years, strangely enough 95% of times I jerk it to some girl that looks like my wife but it's only because she is a total redhead hottie

Ask her to blow you while you watch.

garett · 03-04-2004, 04:09 PM

Neither my wife nor I believe that it is cheating .. and if either of us did not use porn then the other would get seriously concerned since we view it as both normal and a vital component of keeping our marriage monogamous (a healthy fantasy life that is .. which can and should involve porn in our opinions).

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by beemk
if you gotta watch porn shes doing something wrong

What if your lover is not around and you get the itch, etc.?

chowda · 03-04-2004, 04:11 PM

i watch it, i dont fantasize about it.

Paraskass · 03-04-2004, 04:14 PM

depends what cheating is to you.

Cheating in a relationship is anything you would NOT DO in front of your GF/BF if they we're around.

Do you watch porn when she is there?
Do you flirt with other girls in front of her?
etc...

uvort · 03-04-2004, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brizzad
nah its cool

me and my g/f watch it together

same here

Paraskass · 03-04-2004, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uvort

same here

according to my definition above, that is not cheating.

Like exchanging partners in those special evenings is not cheating for the people that do it.

maxdaname · 03-04-2004, 04:21 PM

You learn new techniques when you watch porn! and you can try them on your wife/GF afterward.

Scootermuze · 03-04-2004, 04:44 PM

If your lover objects to it and feels that it is a form of cheating, then that's what it is...

You have to consider the feelings of the person being affected by it.

Focusing on another person for the purpose of sexual gratification can send a strong, negative message to your partner..

"You don't do it for me.. I need more"

SetTheWorldonFire · 03-04-2004, 04:47 PM

it better than not cheating, it's healthy

eskimo · 03-04-2004, 04:55 PM

Yeah i don't believe it's cheating unless you are physically with another girl.

Fletch XXX · 03-04-2004, 04:57 PM

no - yes

Mr. Marks · 03-04-2004, 04:59 PM

actually no. it's natural.

stev0 · 03-04-2004, 05:02 PM

no way.

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Paraskass
depends what cheating is to you.

Cheating in a relationship is anything you would NOT DO in front of your GF/BF if they we're around.

Do you watch porn when she is there?
Do you flirt with other girls in front of her?
etc...

That's a great perspective!

runaway · 03-04-2004, 05:05 PM

Good points!

KMR Stitch · 03-04-2004, 05:07 PM

You ask adult webmasters this?

wtf is wrong with you

stocktrader23 · 03-04-2004, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
no - yes

good answer

Alex From San Diego · 03-04-2004, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scootermuze
If your lover objects to it and feels that it is a form of cheating, then that's what it is...

You have to consider the feelings of the person being affected by it.

Focusing on another person for the purpose of sexual gratification can send a strong, negative message to your partner..

"You don't do it for me.. I need more"

Wow, I'm impressed. An actual intelligent answer here on GFY.

Kudos to you....

I feel the same way...

Rictor · 03-04-2004, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironhorse
What do you think? Are you cheating on your lover by whipping it out to some movie or how about the live shows?

I've had some friction with my wife over this for years, strangely enough 95% of times I jerk it to some girl that looks like my wife but it's only because she is a total redhead hottie

My wife encourages it and buys me porn as a gift sometimes. I can watch it alone or watch it with her.

Rictor · 03-04-2004, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scootermuze
If your lover objects to it and feels that it is a form of cheating, then that's what it is...

You have to consider the feelings of the person being affected by it.

Focusing on another person for the purpose of sexual gratification can send a strong, negative message to your partner..

"You don't do it for me.. I need more"

Oh please. And when she asks you if you mastrubate or have fantasies about other women, do you need to lie to her to protect her feelings? Some women just have no grasp of reality and you shouldn't encourage their irrational behavior or beliefs.

strobi · 03-04-2004, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by beemk
if you gotta watch porn shes doing something wrong

huh?

It's fun to lay back and watch a porn...

phogirl69 · 03-04-2004, 05:36 PM

I'm female and I think it's ok. I have no probs with a guy jerking off or watching porn, it's normal and healthy. AS LONG as he doesn't rather watch porn than have sex with me, if he'd rather than watch porn than have sex with a real person there's a major problem! I would get very offended if someone would rather watch porn than satisfy me, I have needs too!

Masturbating & porn = ok
Hookers and cheating = not ok

But then I'm also super perverted myself and I watch tons and tons of porn all the time, whether I'm in a relationship or not, so how can I be critical of others when they do the same? Personally I like to watch porn together with my guy... it's fun.

Masturbation and porn is not cheating. I do believe that actual physical contact is cheating like getting grinded by a stripper or something like that. It is always important to be considerate to the needs of you partner, but I think it's slightly different with porn, especially with men, since you guys usually start masturbating and watching porn at such a young age, so it's a part of your daily routine, like eating and sleeping.

I also agree that you both have to agree what constitutes cheating or not; for example some people think getting a bj is not cheating because it doesn't involve intercourse and others have open marriages so it all varies. For example my ex bf went to a strip club and got a lap dance without me, and he said the stripper was grinding on his dick, and bit it with her lips through his pants, and fondled it through his pants, but he doesn't consider it cheating because there was no sex. I totally disagree, I think that was pushing it way too far, and being disrespectful to me, because we already discussed it in the beginning and he knew how much it would bother me! It would have been different if he would have taken me along, since I wouldn't mind going with him at all, but he didn't even want to bring me along (which is another thing that pisses me off)

But anyways, I don't mind if my guy watches porn just for the sake of the sexual act and to get off. But if he starts obsessing about a certain pornstar and wants to look at her ALL the time, I might get a lil' jealous too. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of though.

Why don't you try watching it together, is she open to it? If you ever do, DON'T EVER say something like " she's got nice tits" or "I'd love to bone her" about the porn actress in question. My ex did that a lot and that REALLY ruined the mood and started some fights!! Just watch it but don't make obnoxious remarks, that will just make your gf sad and bring her down

Anna_O · 03-04-2004, 05:36 PM

Everyone has right to some personal sexlife, even if they're in a relationship. Watching some porn now and the by yourself only helps your relationship.

CDSmith · 03-04-2004, 05:45 PM

This is like asking if it is cheating when you masturbate. Like if you're on a business trip away from your wife and one night you whack off, you're saying that some might view that as cheating??

<img SRC="http://members.shaw.ca/billy1-99/pics/bwaha.jpg">

Checking out a few skin mags or watching some movie porn and spanking one off is singular in nature, as in not involving another person. I don't see how anyone could view it as cheating.

I can see someone getting upset over it if that's all their partner does is jack off to porn every day, but to call it cheating? To me cheating would involve another participant.... like phone sex and cyber sex with a person other than one's partner is cheating.

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KMR Stitch
You ask adult webmasters this?

wtf is wrong with you

Got you to post in my thread didn't it?

exspamr · 03-04-2004, 05:47 PM

fuck no its not cheating... people have funny defintions of what cheating is... some girls think that if they get drunk and just make out with other people thats not cheating... i say bullshit

SomeCreep · 03-04-2004, 05:48 PM

myjah · 03-04-2004, 05:48 PM

not at all. but i recommend watching porn with your lover. thats a much more fun experience

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 05:54 PM

I just wanted to clarify that my wife was not accusing me of cheating because of the porn, I've been in the industry for 5 years and she's been quite tolerant given her perspective on it. She has only ever had sex with me and comes from a catholic background, which makes for some fun sex and I would choose the real thing over digital any day.

I have watched porn with her before and it's a real turn-on, one time I got her off while she was watching some tasty lesbian bondage and spanking movie, although she is not even bi, she ( and I) had a great time.

I was just curious what people think about it.

phogirl69 · 03-04-2004, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironhorse
I just wanted to clarify that my wife was not accusing me of cheating because of the porn, I've been in the industry for 5 years and she's been quite tolerant given her perspective on it. She has only ever had sex with me and comes from a catholic background, which makes for some fun sex and I would choose the real thing over digital any day.

I have watched porn with her before and it's a real turn-on, one time I got her off while she was watching some tasty lesbian bondage and spanking movie, although she is not even bi, she ( and I) had a great time.

I was just curious what people think about it.

But you said that it created some friction... So do you mean that it bothers her when your watching it alone and not with her? Does it threaten her because you are getting off on another woman? Where does the friction lie ?

wdsguy · 03-04-2004, 06:11 PM

we watch porn together, how could that be cheating on her ?

VicMartin · 03-04-2004, 06:14 PM

I sure hope not... 'cause if it is... I don't ever wanna get married. Well, unless I can find a chick that doesn't mind my addiction to porn.

Ironhorse · 03-04-2004, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by phogirl69

But you said that it created some friction... So do you mean that it bothers her when your watching it alone and not with her? Does it threaten her because you are getting off on another woman? Where does the friction lie ?

We've been married 14 years (currently separated actually but still in love), in the early years she found my magazines and ripped up a bunch, also destroyed some tapes, but this was many years ago and she has changed some since then. She is still not pleased of my involvment in the industry but this has no bearing on casual porn viewing.

To all those that said she is doing something wrong if I have to watch porn, try being FAITHFULLY married for 14 years, or for that matter eat only same food for 14 years. I'm only human, but never cheated on her

IMHO porn does help you learn new tricks, that she has definitely come to appreciate over the years

graphicsbytia · 03-04-2004, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironhorse

We've been married 14 years (currently separated actually but still in love), in the early years she found my magazines and ripped up a bunch, also destroyed some tapes, but this was many years ago and she has changed some since then. She is still not pleased of my involvment in the industry but this has no bearing on casual porn viewing.

To all those that said she is doing something wrong if I have to watch porn, try being FAITHFULLY married for 14 years, or for that matter eat only same food for 14 years. I'm only human, but never cheated on her IMHO porn does help you learn new tricks, that she has definitely come to appreciate over the years

The cure for her is to be involved in the industry herself. I felt the same way she did until I became a webmaster, and slowly but surely the jealously I felt went away and was replaced by a great satisifaction in making money from something I used to detest.

03-04-2004, 04:03 PM	#1
Ironhorse Pixel Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 7,093	Is watching porn 'cheating' on your lover? What do you think? Are you cheating on your lover by whipping it out to some movie or how about the live shows? I've had some friction with my wife over this for years, strangely enough 95% of times I jerk it to some girl that looks like my wife but it's only because she is a total redhead hottie __________________ [email protected]

03-04-2004, 04:06 PM	#4
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	if you gotta watch porn shes doing something wrong __________________ I host with Vacares

03-04-2004, 04:07 PM	#6
finlo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: www.trafficshop.com Posts: 570	i don't think its cheating...there are worse things __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-04-2004, 04:09 PM	#8
garett Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 683	Neither my wife nor I believe that it is cheating .. and if either of us did not use porn then the other would get seriously concerned since we view it as both normal and a vital component of keeping our marriage monogamous (a healthy fantasy life that is .. which can and should involve porn in our opinions). __________________

03-04-2004, 04:11 PM	#10
chowda Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Gooch city Posts: 9,527	i watch it, i dont fantasize about it. __________________ Someone finds you... 2007 PS: Nationalnet is the best host I've ever had. And i tried alot of them.

03-04-2004, 04:05 PM	#2
SENSEX Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Someplace Special Posts: 1,159	no it is not cheating. If she can't live with that, DIVORCE

03-04-2004, 04:06 PM	#3
Rorschach So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,579	Of course it's not cheating. Think of the alternative - going and having filthy hotel whore sex... although that's not cheating either as long as you don't get caught.

03-04-2004, 04:06 PM	#5
brizzad holla Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: KFC Posts: 11,769	nah its cool me and my g/f watch it together

03-04-2004, 04:14 PM	#11
Paraskass Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: QC Posts: 5,829	depends what cheating is to you. Cheating in a relationship is anything you would NOT DO in front of your GF/BF if they we're around. Do you watch porn when she is there? Do you flirt with other girls in front of her? etc... __________________

03-04-2004, 04:21 PM	#14
maxdaname Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 5,193	You learn new techniques when you watch porn! and you can try them on your wife/GF afterward.

03-04-2004, 04:44 PM	#15
Scootermuze Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 4,513	If your lover objects to it and feels that it is a form of cheating, then that's what it is... You have to consider the feelings of the person being affected by it. Focusing on another person for the purpose of sexual gratification can send a strong, negative message to your partner.. "You don't do it for me.. I need more"

03-04-2004, 04:47 PM	#16
SetTheWorldonFire Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: California Posts: 7,444	it better than not cheating, it's healthy __________________ www.STWOFDesign.com hit me up on icq 154206276 or Skype: JaimeGizzle

03-04-2004, 04:55 PM	#17
eskimo Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 199	Yeah i don't believe it's cheating unless you are physically with another girl. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-04-2004, 04:57 PM	#18
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	no - yes __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

03-04-2004, 04:59 PM	#19
Mr. Marks Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Wherever I want Posts: 7,517	actually no. it's natural.

03-04-2004, 05:02 PM	#20
stev0 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta Posts: 6,801	no way.

03-04-2004, 05:05 PM	#22
runaway Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,177	Good points!

03-04-2004, 05:07 PM	#23
KMR Stitch I am cool Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 14,494	You ask adult webmasters this? wtf is wrong with you

03-04-2004, 05:36 PM	#29
phogirl69 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,330	I'm female and I think it's ok. I have no probs with a guy jerking off or watching porn, it's normal and healthy. AS LONG as he doesn't rather watch porn than have sex with me, if he'd rather than watch porn than have sex with a real person there's a major problem! I would get very offended if someone would rather watch porn than satisfy me, I have needs too! Masturbating & porn = ok Hookers and cheating = not ok But then I'm also super perverted myself and I watch tons and tons of porn all the time, whether I'm in a relationship or not, so how can I be critical of others when they do the same? Personally I like to watch porn together with my guy... it's fun. Masturbation and porn is not cheating. I do believe that actual physical contact is cheating like getting grinded by a stripper or something like that. It is always important to be considerate to the needs of you partner, but I think it's slightly different with porn, especially with men, since you guys usually start masturbating and watching porn at such a young age, so it's a part of your daily routine, like eating and sleeping. I also agree that you both have to agree what constitutes cheating or not; for example some people think getting a bj is not cheating because it doesn't involve intercourse and others have open marriages so it all varies. For example my ex bf went to a strip club and got a lap dance without me, and he said the stripper was grinding on his dick, and bit it with her lips through his pants, and fondled it through his pants, but he doesn't consider it cheating because there was no sex. I totally disagree, I think that was pushing it way too far, and being disrespectful to me, because we already discussed it in the beginning and he knew how much it would bother me! It would have been different if he would have taken me along, since I wouldn't mind going with him at all, but he didn't even want to bring me along (which is another thing that pisses me off) But anyways, I don't mind if my guy watches porn just for the sake of the sexual act and to get off. But if he starts obsessing about a certain pornstar and wants to look at her ALL the time, I might get a lil' jealous too. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of though. Why don't you try watching it together, is she open to it? If you ever do, DON'T EVER say something like " she's got nice tits" or "I'd love to bone her" about the porn actress in question. My ex did that a lot and that REALLY ruined the mood and started some fights!! Just watch it but don't make obnoxious remarks, that will just make your gf sad and bring her down Last edited by phogirl69; 03-04-2004 at 05:49 PM..

03-04-2004, 05:36 PM	#30
Anna_O Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Sweden Posts: 5,773	Everyone has right to some personal sexlife, even if they're in a relationship. Watching some porn now and the by yourself only helps your relationship. __________________ Fetish by Anna Paysite - Nylons Bondage Latex Lesbians Glamour Annas Dungeon - 70k / day Fetish TGP ICQ 246797915

03-04-2004, 05:45 PM	#31
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	This is like asking if it is cheating when you masturbate. Like if you're on a business trip away from your wife and one night you whack off, you're saying that some might view that as cheating?? <img SRC="http://members.shaw.ca/billy1-99/pics/bwaha.jpg"> Checking out a few skin mags or watching some movie porn and spanking one off is singular in nature, as in not involving another person. I don't see how anyone could view it as cheating. I can see someone getting upset over it if that's all their partner does is jack off to porn every day, but to call it cheating? To me cheating would involve another participant.... like phone sex and cyber sex with a person other than one's partner is cheating. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-04-2004, 05:47 PM	#33
exspamr Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,427	fuck no its not cheating... people have funny defintions of what cheating is... some girls think that if they get drunk and just make out with other people thats not cheating... i say bullshit

03-04-2004, 05:48 PM	#34
SomeCreep :glugglug Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 26,118	no __________________ Webair Hosting I use and recommend Webair for hosting.

03-04-2004, 05:48 PM	#35
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	not at all. but i recommend watching porn with your lover. thats a much more fun experience __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

03-04-2004, 05:54 PM	#36
Ironhorse Pixel Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 7,093	I just wanted to clarify that my wife was not accusing me of cheating because of the porn, I've been in the industry for 5 years and she's been quite tolerant given her perspective on it. She has only ever had sex with me and comes from a catholic background, which makes for some fun sex and I would choose the real thing over digital any day. I have watched porn with her before and it's a real turn-on, one time I got her off while she was watching some tasty lesbian bondage and spanking movie, although she is not even bi, she ( and I) had a great time. I was just curious what people think about it. __________________ [email protected]

03-04-2004, 06:11 PM	#38
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	we watch porn together, how could that be cheating on her ?

03-04-2004, 06:14 PM	#39
VicMartin Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Croatia Posts: 887	I sure hope not... 'cause if it is... I don't ever wanna get married. Well, unless I can find a chick that doesn't mind my addiction to porn. __________________ Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is. –Vince Lombardi