Is watching porn 'cheating' on your lover?
 

What do you think? Are you cheating on your lover by whipping it out to some movie or how about the live shows?

I've had some friction with my wife over this for years, strangely enough 95% of times I jerk it to some girl that looks like my wife but it's only because she is a total redhead hottie :thumbsup

no it is not cheating. If she can't live with that, DIVORCE

Of course it's not cheating. Think of the alternative - going and having filthy hotel whore sex... although that's not cheating either as long as you don't get caught.

if you gotta watch porn shes doing something wrong

nah its cool

me and my g/f watch it together

i don't think its cheating...there are worse things

Ask her to blow you while you watch.

:winkwink:

Neither my wife nor I believe that it is cheating .. and if either of us did not use porn then the other would get seriously concerned since we view it as both normal and a vital component of keeping our marriage monogamous (a healthy fantasy life that is .. which can and should involve porn in our opinions).

What if your lover is not around and you get the itch, etc.?

i watch it, i dont fantasize about it.

depends what cheating is to you.

Cheating in a relationship is anything you would NOT DO in front of your GF/BF if they we're around.

Do you watch porn when she is there?
Do you flirt with other girls in front of her?
etc...

same here

according to my definition above, that is not cheating.

Like exchanging partners in those special evenings is not cheating for the people that do it.

You learn new techniques when you watch porn! and you can try them on your wife/GF afterward.:thumbsup

If your lover objects to it and feels that it is a form of cheating, then that's what it is...

You have to consider the feelings of the person being affected by it.

Focusing on another person for the purpose of sexual gratification can send a strong, negative message to your partner..

"You don't do it for me.. I need more"

it better than not cheating, it's healthy :2 cents:

Yeah i don't believe it's cheating unless you are physically with another girl. :2 cents:

no - yes

actually no. it's natural.

no way.

That's a great perspective!

Good points!:1orglaugh

You ask adult webmasters this?

wtf is wrong with you

good answer

Wow, I'm impressed. An actual intelligent answer here on GFY.

Kudos to you....

I feel the same way...

My wife encourages it and buys me porn as a gift sometimes. I can watch it alone or watch it with her.

Oh please. And when she asks you if you mastrubate or have fantasies about other women, do you need to lie to her to protect her feelings? Some women just have no grasp of reality and you shouldn't encourage their irrational behavior or beliefs.

huh? :helpme It's fun to lay back and watch a porn...

I'm female and I think it's ok. I have no probs with a guy jerking off or watching porn, it's normal and healthy. AS LONG as he doesn't rather watch porn than have sex with me, if he'd rather than watch porn than have sex with a real person there's a major problem! I would get very offended if someone would rather watch porn than satisfy me, I have needs too!

Masturbating & porn = ok
Hookers and cheating = not ok


But then I'm also super perverted myself and I watch tons and tons of porn all the time, whether I'm in a relationship or not, so how can I be critical of others when they do the same? Personally I like to watch porn together with my guy... it's fun.

Masturbation and porn is not cheating. I do believe that actual physical contact is cheating like getting grinded by a stripper or something like that. It is always important to be considerate to the needs of you partner, but I think it's slightly different with porn, especially with men, since you guys usually start masturbating and watching porn at such a young age, so it's a part of your daily routine, like eating and sleeping.


I also agree that you both have to agree what constitutes cheating or not; for example some people think getting a bj is not cheating because it doesn't involve intercourse and others have open marriages so it all varies. For example my ex bf went to a strip club and got a lap dance without me, and he said the stripper was grinding on his dick, and bit it with her lips through his pants, and fondled it through his pants, but he doesn't consider it cheating because there was no sex. I totally disagree, I think that was pushing it way too far, and being disrespectful to me, because we already discussed it in the beginning and he knew how much it would bother me! It would have been different if he would have taken me along, since I wouldn't mind going with him at all, but he didn't even want to bring me along (which is another thing that pisses me off)

But anyways, I don't mind if my guy watches porn just for the sake of the sexual act and to get off. But if he starts obsessing about a certain pornstar and wants to look at her ALL the time, I might get a lil' jealous too. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of though.

Why don't you try watching it together, is she open to it? If you ever do, DON'T EVER say something like " she's got nice tits" or "I'd love to bone her" about the porn actress in question. My ex did that a lot and that REALLY ruined the mood and started some fights!! Just watch it but don't make obnoxious remarks, that will just make your gf sad and bring her down :(

Everyone has right to some personal sexlife, even if they're in a relationship. Watching some porn now and the by yourself only helps your relationship. :thumbsup

This is like asking if it is cheating when you masturbate. Like if you're on a business trip away from your wife and one night you whack off, you're saying that some might view that as cheating??




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Checking out a few skin mags or watching some movie porn and spanking one off is singular in nature, as in not involving another person. I don't see how anyone could view it as cheating.



I can see someone getting upset over it if that's all their partner does is jack off to porn every day, but to call it cheating? To me cheating would involve another participant.... like phone sex and cyber sex with a person other than one's partner is cheating.

Got you to post in my thread didn't it? :winkwink:

fuck no its not cheating... people have funny defintions of what cheating is... some girls think that if they get drunk and just make out with other people thats not cheating... i say bullshit

no

not at all. but i recommend watching porn with your lover. thats a much more fun experience

I just wanted to clarify that my wife was not accusing me of cheating because of the porn, I've been in the industry for 5 years and she's been quite tolerant given her perspective on it. She has only ever had sex with me and comes from a catholic background, which makes for some fun sex and I would choose the real thing over digital any day.

I have watched porn with her before and it's a real turn-on, one time I got her off while she was watching some tasty lesbian bondage and spanking movie, although she is not even bi, she ( and I) had a great time.

I was just curious what people think about it.

But you said that it created some friction... So do you mean that it bothers her when your watching it alone and not with her? Does it threaten her because you are getting off on another woman? Where does the friction lie ?

we watch porn together, how could that be cheating on her ?

I sure hope not... 'cause if it is... I don't ever wanna get married. Well, unless I can find a chick that doesn't mind my addiction to porn.

We've been married 14 years (currently separated actually but still in love), in the early years she found my magazines and ripped up a bunch, also destroyed some tapes, but this was many years ago and she has changed some since then. She is still not pleased of my involvment in the industry but this has no bearing on casual porn viewing.

To all those that said she is doing something wrong if I have to watch porn, try being FAITHFULLY married for 14 years, or for that matter eat only same food for 14 years. I'm only human, but never cheated on her :glugglug IMHO porn does help you learn new tricks, that she has definitely come to appreciate over the years :Graucho

The cure for her is to be involved in the industry herself. I felt the same way she did until I became a webmaster, and slowly but surely the jealously I felt went away and was replaced by a great satisifaction in making money from something I used to detest.