Gay sex ... gone wrong! (story) - GoFuckYourself.com

KraZ · 02-06-2004, 09:39 AM

(1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

com · 02-06-2004, 09:41 AM

now THAT is funny

Shok · 02-06-2004, 09:43 AM

I would pay good money for that tape

Angie · 02-06-2004, 09:46 AM

OMG how stupid can some people be

The lengths people go to, they should learn when to stop dammit.

Shok · 02-06-2004, 09:49 AM

for now on I'm going to scream "Armageddon!!!!" in bed

KraZ · 02-06-2004, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by com
now THAT is funny

Maybe some of the gay webmasters here would like to tell us their story!

KraZ · 02-06-2004, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shok
I would pay good money for that tape

DO you think it would sell better than Pam and Tommy Lee?

I can see the posters!

STARRING
Eric Tomaszewski
Andrew "Kiki" Farnum

A special APPEARANCE/DISAPPREANCE
by Ragout (R.I.P)

beergood · 02-06-2004, 09:55 AM

stupid queers

Basic_man · 02-06-2004, 09:57 AM

hahahahaha

rooster · 02-06-2004, 09:58 AM

id like to see those faggots on mythbusters try that

TheEnforcer · 02-06-2004, 09:59 AM

ROFLMFAO!!!

Damn funny story!!

Mike-BP · 02-06-2004, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KraZ

DO you think it would sell better than Pam and Tommy Lee?

I can see the posters!

STARRING
Eric Tomaszewski
Andrew "Kiki" Farnum

A special APPEARANCE/DISAPPREANCE
by Ragout (R.I.P)

LOL

Ash@phpFX · 02-06-2004, 10:16 AM

oh my god thats the most awesome story ive ever heard

Manowar · 02-06-2004, 10:22 AM

haha, i think its a bit wrong putting gerbils up your ass though

ztik · 02-06-2004, 10:27 AM

for the old school gfy'ers

ztik · 02-06-2004, 10:29 AM

damn didn't work http://www.mythofsisyphus.net/sound/gerbil3.wav

kowntafit · 02-06-2004, 11:24 AM

Quote:

a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil

jhussher · 02-06-2004, 11:46 AM

As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker

I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters.

Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz?

Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash?

Fu-Q · 02-06-2004, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jhussher
As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker

I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters.

Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz?

Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash?

just stupid, gay shit and

jhussher · 02-06-2004, 11:50 AM

And that gerbil story is real tired, anyhow. The Richard Gere/gerbil story is 30 years old. What, was that new to you, though?

Variation on a myth. Yeh, Rod Stewart had to have a gallon of semen pumped from his stomach, too. You know how many ejaculations, at a teaspoon apiece, it takes for a gallon? Cum on...besides, semen isn't toxic anyhow, why would it have to be evacuated from his s stomach?

Come on, people...this is 2004. Let's do 2004 things.

Make dat $$$

123Jason · 02-06-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beergood
stupid queers

well that's quite something coming from somebody who lists "poontang, internet, strippers" as his interests and "alcoholic" as his occupation.

however, i do agree, they were stupid and queer. but that story is old and i'm hard pressed to find people who really believe it.

123Jason · 02-06-2004, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jhussher
As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker

I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters.

Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz?

Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash?

I'm all for fighting for gay rights...in fact did quite a bit of it yesterday...but you have to understand...that's just what this board is. we are not discriminated against here because we're gay...everybody gets bashed and treated like shit at some point or other on this board. we are just getting equal treatment.

hence the name "go fuck yourself"

that's what this board is about. thank you though for speaking your mind...that's also what this board is about.

BloodFart · 02-06-2004, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jhussher
As a gay man

My condolences, sorry to hear that. Good luck with it tho.

masta flash · 02-06-2004, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jhussher
As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker

I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters.

Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz?

Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash?

someones not secure with their sexuality!

Morgan · 02-06-2004, 12:06 PM

That's an old urban legend I think. Ive heard that story 20 times and I remember hearing it back in like 1993 lol.

Kicker · 02-06-2004, 12:32 PM

eiht_98 · 02-06-2004, 12:34 PM

Welcome to the nineties.

ThePornPusher · 02-06-2004, 12:42 PM

http://Type.a.name.isgay.com

^Thats the same story but you can add someone elses name

KraZ · 02-09-2004, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ganjasaurus
That's an old urban legend I think. Ive heard that story 20 times and I remember hearing it back in like 1993 lol.

Yep, it's pretty old ...

I was doing some research on Urban Legends (on the Darwin Awards site) and came across this one for a second time in 6 years. Thought it was hilarious - especially from the perspective of a content provider [me] who is considering adding gay content to the list.

Think about this "story" as a script for a custom shoot... do you think it would nail you to the floor laughin? I bet it will

Just for the record, I don't have anything against homosexuals (especially lesbians lol)

Niko Bimini · 02-27-2004, 09:20 PM

Holy shit that is funny!

Evil1 · 02-27-2004, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jhussher
As a gay man

Sorry to hear that

VeriSexy · 02-27-2004, 09:26 PM

I feel sorry for the poor gerbil. Why the hell was he trying to stick it in his ass?

wdsguy · 02-27-2004, 09:29 PM

poor animal, I hope it survived

myjah · 02-27-2004, 09:36 PM

unbelievable. my mouth is hanging open.

Evil1 · 02-27-2004, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wdsguy
poor animal, I hope it survived

neither one died.. says it right here
"Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."

02-06-2004, 09:39 AM	#1
KraZ Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: ICQ:: 18822023 Posts: 2,636	Gay sex ... gone wrong! (story) (1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident. __________________ Selling MedicalPorn,com and a dozen other gyno & doctor domains here: http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=871984

02-06-2004, 09:41 AM	#2
com Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 4,541	now THAT is funny __________________ Real. Professional. Hosting. .:Expect Nothing Less:. 320-078-843 :: www.realprohosting.com :: [email protected]

02-06-2004, 09:57 AM	#9
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	hahahahaha __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

02-06-2004, 09:58 AM	#10
rooster Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,384	id like to see those faggots on mythbusters try that __________________ Ever notice that pretty much everything added to the Constitution after the original was a mistake.

02-06-2004, 09:59 AM	#11
TheEnforcer Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 2,855	ROFLMFAO!!! Damn funny story!! __________________ Hit me up below for all your advertising needs!

02-06-2004, 09:43 AM	#3
Shok Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: LIVE EVIL Posts: 5,611	I would pay good money for that tape

02-06-2004, 09:46 AM	#4
Angie Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In The Sun Posts: 460	OMG how stupid can some people be The lengths people go to, they should learn when to stop dammit.

02-06-2004, 09:49 AM	#5
Shok Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: LIVE EVIL Posts: 5,611	for now on I'm going to scream "Armageddon!!!!" in bed

02-06-2004, 09:55 AM	#8
beergood Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: United States Posts: 2,918	stupid queers

02-06-2004, 10:16 AM	#13
Ash@phpFX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,292	oh my god thats the most awesome story ive ever heard

02-06-2004, 10:22 AM	#14
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	haha, i think its a bit wrong putting gerbils up your ass though

02-06-2004, 10:27 AM	#15
ztik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Nomad Posts: 5,196	for the old school gfy'ers __________________ . Last edited by ztik; 02-06-2004 at 10:29 AM..

02-06-2004, 10:29 AM	#16
ztik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Nomad Posts: 5,196	damn didn't work http://www.mythofsisyphus.net/sound/gerbil3.wav __________________ .

02-06-2004, 11:46 AM	#18
jhussher Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Ft Lauderdale Posts: 14	As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters. Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz? Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash? __________________ <a href="http://cyberhostserver.com"><img src="http://cyberhostserver.com/bannner468x60.gif" width="480" height="60" border="0"></a>

02-06-2004, 11:50 AM	#20
jhussher Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Ft Lauderdale Posts: 14	And that gerbil story is real tired, anyhow. The Richard Gere/gerbil story is 30 years old. What, was that new to you, though? Variation on a myth. Yeh, Rod Stewart had to have a gallon of semen pumped from his stomach, too. You know how many ejaculations, at a teaspoon apiece, it takes for a gallon? Cum on...besides, semen isn't toxic anyhow, why would it have to be evacuated from his s stomach? Come on, people...this is 2004. Let's do 2004 things. Make dat $$$ __________________ <a href="http://cyberhostserver.com"><img src="http://cyberhostserver.com/bannner468x60.gif" width="480" height="60" border="0"></a>

02-06-2004, 12:06 PM	#25
Morgan Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Corona Del Mar, CA Posts: 10,520	That's an old urban legend I think. Ive heard that story 20 times and I remember hearing it back in like 1993 lol. __________________ PornstarPlatinum.com \| TransErotica.com

02-06-2004, 12:32 PM	#26
Kicker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: TakeBucks.com - Porn Star Academy Posts: 7,040	LOL __________________ TakeBucks.com and Real-Bucks.com *65% \| $30 PPS \| 10% referral!!!* TryAnalFisting.com - ratio is 1:85. No joke! ========================= Alex Affiliate Manager support@takebucks_dot_com

02-06-2004, 12:34 PM	#27
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103	Welcome to the nineties.

02-06-2004, 12:42 PM	#28
ThePornPusher Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Long Island,New York Posts: 1,823	http://Type.a.name.isgay.com ^Thats the same story but you can add someone elses name __________________

02-27-2004, 09:20 PM	#30
Niko Bimini Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Vast Desert Wasteland aka Phoenix Arizona Posts: 2,372	Holy shit that is funny!

02-27-2004, 09:26 PM	#32
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	I feel sorry for the poor gerbil. Why the hell was he trying to stick it in his ass? __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

02-27-2004, 09:29 PM	#33
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	poor animal, I hope it survived

02-27-2004, 09:36 PM	#34
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	unbelievable. my mouth is hanging open. __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]