Gay sex ... gone wrong! (story)
 

(1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

now THAT is funny

I would pay good money for that tape

OMG how stupid can some people be :warning The lengths people go to, they should learn when to stop dammit.

for now on I'm going to scream "Armageddon!!!!" in bed

Maybe some of the gay webmasters here would like to tell us their story!

DO you think it would sell better than Pam and Tommy Lee?

I can see the posters!


STARRING
Eric Tomaszewski
Andrew "Kiki" Farnum

A special APPEARANCE/DISAPPREANCE
by Ragout (R.I.P)

stupid queers

hahahahaha :thumbsup

id like to see those faggots on mythbusters try that

ROFLMFAO!!! :1orglaugh

Damn funny story!! :thumbsup

LOL

oh my god thats the most awesome story ive ever heard

haha, i think its a bit wrong putting gerbils up your ass though

for the old school gfy'ers

damn didn't work http://www.mythofsisyphus.net/sound/gerbil3.wav

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

As a gay man, never mind webmaster, I notice that this Board has a lot of sarcastic and "amusing" threads about gays. I see 'em every day via Board Tracker

I don't find a damn thing funny about any of it. Gay people are working for equal rights and respect and this shit is juvenile as hell and not what I would expect from supposedly professional adult webmasters.

Does this board have any threads about making money in this biz?

Or do y'all just shit-post and gay-bash?

just stupid, gay shit and :321GFY

And that gerbil story is real tired, anyhow. The Richard Gere/gerbil story is 30 years old. What, was that new to you, though?

Variation on a myth. Yeh, Rod Stewart had to have a gallon of semen pumped from his stomach, too. You know how many ejaculations, at a teaspoon apiece, it takes for a gallon? Cum on...besides, semen isn't toxic anyhow, why would it have to be evacuated from his s stomach?

Come on, people...this is 2004. Let's do 2004 things.

Make dat $$$

well that's quite something coming from somebody who lists "poontang, internet, strippers" as his interests and "alcoholic" as his occupation.

however, i do agree, they were stupid and queer. but that story is old and i'm hard pressed to find people who really believe it.

I'm all for fighting for gay rights...in fact did quite a bit of it yesterday...but you have to understand...that's just what this board is. we are not discriminated against here because we're gay...everybody gets bashed and treated like shit at some point or other on this board. we are just getting equal treatment.

hence the name "go fuck yourself"

that's what this board is about. thank you though for speaking your mind...that's also what this board is about.

My condolences, sorry to hear that. Good luck with it tho.

someones not secure with their sexuality!

That's an old urban legend I think. Ive heard that story 20 times and I remember hearing it back in like 1993 lol.

LOL

Welcome to the nineties.

http://Type.a.name.isgay.com

^Thats the same story but you can add someone elses name :1orglaugh

Yep, it's pretty old ...

I was doing some research on Urban Legends (on the Darwin Awards site) and came across this one for a second time in 6 years. Thought it was hilarious - especially from the perspective of a content provider [me] who is considering adding gay content to the list.

Think about this "story" as a script for a custom shoot... do you think it would nail you to the floor laughin? I bet it will :)

Just for the record, I don't have anything against homosexuals (especially lesbians lol)

Holy shit that is funny!

Sorry to hear that

I feel sorry for the poor gerbil. Why the hell was he trying to stick it in his ass? :helpme

poor animal, I hope it survived

unbelievable. my mouth is hanging open.

neither one died.. says it right here
"Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."