3 sexual NIGHTMARES this coulod of happened to you - GoFuckYourself.com

raceman · 02-07-2004, 08:29 AM

NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came home from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother."

NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

Slick · 02-07-2004, 08:34 AM

ROFL, ha ha ha, those were pretty good. the second one was hilarious

nathan_f · 02-07-2004, 08:36 AM

Oh god, that second one is horrible...

Oracle Porn · 02-07-2004, 08:36 AM

Manowar · 02-07-2004, 08:41 AM

the third one was a banned mastercard advert, its on the internet somewhere

msthumbs · 02-07-2004, 08:45 AM

the last one

raceman · 02-07-2004, 08:50 AM

I like the last one as well

eiht_98 · 02-07-2004, 08:52 AM

I take the #2.

Ash@phpFX · 02-07-2004, 08:54 AM

the first two are old jokes and the third is an ad. not very original :/

raceman · 02-07-2004, 08:55 AM

go

asher

bluff · 02-07-2004, 09:04 AM

hahahaha

Lykos · 02-07-2004, 09:17 AM

02-07-2004, 08:36 AM	#4
Oracle Porn Affiliate Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Icq: 94-399-723 Posts: 24,433	__________________

02-07-2004, 08:50 AM	#7
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	I like the last one as well __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-07-2004, 08:55 AM	#10
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	go asher __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-07-2004, 09:17 AM	#12
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,030	__________________

02-07-2004, 08:29 AM	#1
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	3 sexual NIGHTMARES this coulod of happened to you NIGHTMARE #1 After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation." NIGHTMARE #2 The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came home from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother." NIGHTMARE #3 One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!" __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-07-2004, 08:34 AM	#2
Slick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Houghton, MI Posts: 7,338	ROFL, ha ha ha, those were pretty good. the second one was hilarious

02-07-2004, 08:36 AM	#3
nathan_f Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Think of me as Chomsky with dick jokes. Posts: 3,983	Oh god, that second one is horrible...

02-07-2004, 08:41 AM	#5
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	the third one was a banned mastercard advert, its on the internet somewhere

02-07-2004, 08:45 AM	#6
msthumbs Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 215	the last one

02-07-2004, 08:52 AM	#8
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103	I take the #2.

02-07-2004, 08:54 AM	#9
Ash@phpFX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,292	the first two are old jokes and the third is an ad. not very original :/

02-07-2004, 09:04 AM	#11
bluff Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Bluffville Posts: 6,253	hahahaha