How many of you could use this? - GoFuckYourself.com

Babagirls · 02-03-2004, 07:27 PM

Rorschach · 02-03-2004, 07:30 PM

Every time you flush, if you don't put the lid down, million and millions of shit germ infested drops of water fly into the air. They'd get all over your mouse and keyboard. And part of the joy of taking a really good dump is being able to get away from work for a few minutes!

CDSmith · 02-03-2004, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rorschach
Every time you flush, if you don't put the lid down, million and millions of shit germ infested drops of water fly into the air. They'd get all over your mouse and keyboard. And part of the joy of taking a really good dump is being able to get away from work for a few minutes!

Some people have no idea of when to just shaddap and enjoy a joke.

suesheboy · 02-03-2004, 07:36 PM

If I have to work in the john, kill me!

Vitasoy · 02-03-2004, 07:51 PM

nah, I'll pass.

pornkitten · 02-03-2004, 07:59 PM

Found this list online:
True Internet addiction
You Are Maliciously Internet Addicted When:

You kiss your girlfriend's/boyfriend's home page.

Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular-modem and a laptop.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.

All you daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8... ISDN... cable modem... T1... T3...

And even your night dreams are in HTML.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

Your pet has its own home page.

You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.

You can't call your grandmother..... she doesn't have a modem.

You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You don't know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee.

You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

Your friends no longer send you e-mail.... they just log on to your IRC channel.

You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.

You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."

You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off.

You forget what year it is.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.

You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".

You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited".

You turn on your computer and... turn off your significant other.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

GonePhishing · 02-03-2004, 08:00 PM

What a great invention!

MrIzzz · 02-03-2004, 08:01 PM

i'm afraid i'd mess up the numbers on the fax machine

Head · 02-03-2004, 08:03 PM

jimboc · 02-03-2004, 08:08 PM

What is that a 186? useless

4MB ram

myjah · 02-03-2004, 08:11 PM

lol...i'd never have a break. but there are sooo many times that would come in handy

02-03-2004, 07:27 PM	#1
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	How many of you could use this? __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

02-03-2004, 07:36 PM	#4
suesheboy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: FL - TN/NC Posts: 5,211	If I have to work in the john, kill me! __________________ Adult Web Site Domain Names For Sale Adult Sex Toy Domain Names For Sale Tantric Delights, Sex Toys Blog, Tantric Sex Toys

02-03-2004, 07:51 PM	#5
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	nah, I'll pass. __________________ [email protected]

02-03-2004, 07:59 PM	#6
pornkitten Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,412	Found this list online: True Internet addiction You Are Maliciously Internet Addicted When: You kiss your girlfriend's/boyfriend's home page. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular-modem and a laptop. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment. All you daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8... ISDN... cable modem... T1... T3... And even your night dreams are in HTML. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives. When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. Your pet has its own home page. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. You can't call your grandmother..... she doesn't have a modem. You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. You don't know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee. You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html You actually try that 123.elm.street address. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job. Your friends no longer send you e-mail.... they just log on to your IRC channel. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless. You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher." You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off. You forget what year it is. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net". You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited". You turn on your computer and... turn off your significant other. Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. __________________ too lazy to find advertising for this sig space

02-03-2004, 08:00 PM	#7
GonePhishing Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Blah Posts: 2,474	What a great invention! __________________ If Biff Fucks My Mom... I Might Never Be Born...

02-03-2004, 07:30 PM	#2
Rorschach So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,579	Every time you flush, if you don't put the lid down, million and millions of shit germ infested drops of water fly into the air. They'd get all over your mouse and keyboard. And part of the joy of taking a really good dump is being able to get away from work for a few minutes!

02-03-2004, 08:01 PM	#8
MrIzzz If u touch it, I will cum Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: long island Posts: 22,923	i'm afraid i'd mess up the numbers on the fax machine __________________ WHO WANTS TO PLAY GRAB-ASS?

02-03-2004, 08:03 PM	#9
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	__________________

02-03-2004, 08:08 PM	#10
jimboc Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Internet of course Posts: 1,614	What is that a 186? useless 4MB ram __________________

02-03-2004, 08:11 PM	#11
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	lol...i'd never have a break. but there are sooo many times that would come in handy __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]