Having a bad day? - GoFuckYourself.com

421Fill · 01-20-2004, 12:06 PM

Having a bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators then set about to determine how a fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Still having a bad day?

Just remember, it could be worse The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in he kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.

She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendantswereloading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle andpush it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming

Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.

The same paramedic! crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

What? STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?

Rinaldo · 01-20-2004, 12:08 PM

nope thanks for the shitty story thoughnow I am

axelcat · 01-20-2004, 12:09 PM

Too long to read got better things to read

PreciousB · 01-20-2004, 12:12 PM

LOLOL Some of these are friggin hilarious!! I kinda did wake up on the wrong side of the bed but I am better now..

I guess someone is always worse off than me.

Amputate Your Head · 01-20-2004, 12:15 PM

good stuff

kmanrox · 01-20-2004, 12:30 PM

if it could be backed up with links to reputable sources i'd have to say the scuba diver thing is the funniest thing i've ever heard....

Hue G. Pness · 01-20-2004, 12:37 PM

Those urban legends are really old. Still funny but very old.

Furious_Male · 01-20-2004, 12:37 PM

Actualy I was having a bad day. Ive managed to piss of every person ive spoken with today.

Did those stories help.. No.. but they were funny.

taboo_gal · 01-20-2004, 12:39 PM

The one about the diver and the motorcyle guy are urban legends. There was a special on Discovery or TLC that investigated each and determined the origination of each story. Pretty interesting stuff though.

jhauser · 01-20-2004, 12:47 PM

somedays you get the elavator and some days you get the shaft. Although getting the shaft isnt always bad either (smile)

bogo · 01-20-2004, 12:53 PM

421Fill · 01-20-2004, 02:11 PM

oddly, when I recieved this in my e-mail this morning, it didn't even occur to me whether the stories were true or not, lol. I guess I just assumed they were made up. hehe Now that you guys mention it, though.. I guess it would be ALOT funnier if they were true.

01-20-2004, 12:06 PM	#1
421Fill Super Mario Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Swenson's Avatar Posts: 19,415	Having a bad day? Having a bad day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. Still think you are having a bad day? A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. STILL think you're having a bad day? Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death. Still think you're having a bad day? A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in he kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendantswereloading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle andpush it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic! crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm. What? STILL having a bad day? Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. There now, feeling better? __________________ RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!

01-20-2004, 12:12 PM	#4
PreciousB Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 204	LOLOL Some of these are friggin hilarious!! I kinda did wake up on the wrong side of the bed but I am better now.. I guess someone is always worse off than me. __________________ Amanda Marchand

01-20-2004, 12:15 PM	#5
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	good stuff __________________ SIG TOO BIG

01-20-2004, 12:30 PM	#6
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,292	if it could be backed up with links to reputable sources i'd have to say the scuba diver thing is the funniest thing i've ever heard.... __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

01-20-2004, 12:37 PM	#7
Hue G. Pness Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Variable Posts: 1,237	Those urban legends are really old. Still funny but very old. __________________ GFY Voice of Reason

01-20-2004, 12:08 PM	#2
Rinaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: South Florida Posts: 5,086	nope thanks for the shitty story thoughnow I am

01-20-2004, 12:09 PM	#3
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450	Too long to read got better things to read

01-20-2004, 12:37 PM	#8
Furious_Male Doing the grind since 99 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Buffalo NY Posts: 16,881	Actualy I was having a bad day. Ive managed to piss of every person ive spoken with today. Did those stories help.. No.. but they were funny. __________________ Living in Virtual Reality Contact: Email (preferred): furiousmale .at. gmail - Skype: live:shanedws

01-20-2004, 12:39 PM	#9
taboo_gal Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 151	The one about the diver and the motorcyle guy are urban legends. There was a special on Discovery or TLC that investigated each and determined the origination of each story. Pretty interesting stuff though. __________________

01-20-2004, 12:47 PM	#10
jhauser Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2,924	somedays you get the elavator and some days you get the shaft. Although getting the shaft isnt always bad either (smile) __________________ TopBucks.com\| PlugInFeeds.com\| PinkVisual.com I am not one of those girls that go Mobi ing around my mobile solution is for you and you only. icq 175789972

01-20-2004, 12:53 PM	#11
bogo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,982

01-20-2004, 02:11 PM	#12
421Fill Super Mario Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Swenson's Avatar Posts: 19,415	oddly, when I recieved this in my e-mail this morning, it didn't even occur to me whether the stories were true or not, lol. I guess I just assumed they were made up. hehe Now that you guys mention it, though.. I guess it would be ALOT funnier if they were true. __________________ RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!