What's your Favorite Bible Story? - GoFuckYourself.com

Exxxotica · 05-04-2001, 01:27 AM

I use to be so board in church, that I would look through the Bible for fucked up stories.
There are so many of them.

One of my favorite all time stories was when the 2 angels disguised as travelrs visited Lot in the city of Sodom. If you look in the King James Version...it says...the men of the city came to the door of the house demanding that Lot give up the travelers so they could have sex with them. Lot refused...and sent out his maid servant to them instead. They raped and killed her. Lot then cut her into 12 pieces and sent each of the pieces to the 12 tribes of Isreal as a reminder of what sin does to mankind.

boneprone · 05-04-2001, 01:29 AM

I see a represed version of Diabetic Rage in Exxxotica.

Exxxotica · 05-04-2001, 01:34 AM

Fuck no! That guy is a Religious Freak!

Im glad Im only related to him by marriage!

boneprone · 05-04-2001, 01:37 AM

Where is Mike Bradley.. Someone call him and bring him here to comment!

boneprone · 05-04-2001, 01:39 AM

<center>I like the part where God yells onto Earth and Says

<h2><center>AND LET THERE BE BONEPRONE
4-LIFE</h2>
God Bless The BONEPRONE FAMILY!

[This message has been edited by boneprone (edited 05-04-2001).]

boneprone · 05-04-2001, 01:41 AM

was that in the Bible? I think it is in the New King Bone Version?

Exxxotica · 05-04-2001, 01:43 AM

I talked to Mike Bradley earlier, he lost his password and is still searching for it.

Yes Bone...That IS in the Bible!!!!

MindWaste · 05-04-2001, 01:46 AM

I always wondered if adam and eve had belly buttons..

Exxxotica · 05-04-2001, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MindWaste:
I always wondered if adam and eve had belly buttons..

I wouldnt think so, but then again...why do men have nipples?

MindWaste · 05-04-2001, 02:07 AM

Well if you think about it.. It says that God created man in his own image.. So does God have one? If he does.. Where did he get it from?

MindWaste · 05-04-2001, 02:09 AM

I think men got nipples because woman whould look pretty damn funny with 4 nipples.. hehe ...

Kat - Fast · 05-04-2001, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MindWaste:
I think men got nipples because woman whould look pretty damn funny with 4 nipples.. hehe ...

...unless they had 4 tits....mmmm

MindWaste · 05-04-2001, 03:40 AM

Ahh yes.. One for each hand and then the other two for a head rest. Whould be nice but I whouldent want to see a 80 year old with four tits saggin on the ground as she walks away.

Jamdin · 12-21-2003, 04:49 PM

My favorite bible story is Samson. The guy screws up big time by telling Delilah his one weakness. The ending rocks because a blind Samson pushes down the pillars.

I also like Noah and the ark...

Clovis · 12-21-2003, 04:54 PM

I like the one where Jesus comes out of the ground and if he sees his shadow we have three more weeks of winter.

Elli · 12-21-2003, 04:55 PM

I like the temptation of Christ in the desert/wilderness by the Devil. Oh, and Job's story is incredible.

Would you kill your only son if you heard a voice from a burning bush telling you to? yeah, neither would I. I'd go to the psychiatrist first.

anidifranco · 12-21-2003, 07:44 PM

The one where the jew at the front desk turned away the Virgin Mary.

Happy Dicks · 12-21-2003, 07:53 PM

I'll start with Sodom. The one about cutting the whore into 12 pieces ain't in the Bible, Jewish legend maybe. But the real sin there is likely not homosexuality, but sex magic, attempted communion with angels to get power and secrets from them. If you look in 1 Enoch (not in the Bible) the same thing happens with Noah's flood.

My favorite story is when Jesus saves the adulteress from being stoned. Jesus was cool, he was willing to forgive people for sinning and he was killed for speaking out against religious authorities of his day.

That's my

pornkitten · 12-21-2003, 09:23 PM

David and Goliath, which is why its always better to be friendly. I also like the Jesus helping Mary, it is sad that there are so many judgemental christians. Too bad they dont know they are going to hell...kidding

PinkMonkey · 12-21-2003, 10:20 PM

"The End"

chodadog · 12-21-2003, 10:30 PM

I like the one where Jesus was in the WWF in a 2 on 1 match against Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior.

pamphage · 12-21-2003, 10:32 PM

i like the story in Revelation 12:24 where the idiots didn't respond to 2 year old threads

fuzebox · 12-21-2003, 11:01 PM

Leviticus 20:13

SleazyDream · 12-21-2003, 11:03 PM

when the jews convince a race to all get circumcized and then while they're all screaming in pain over the operation they decide to just kill them all.

- AFN - · 12-22-2003, 12:44 AM

You must have QUOTED THE BIBLE WRONG. Lot existed before the 12 tribes of Israel were even born. Abraham fathered Isaac who fathered Jacob who became Israel. Israel then had the 12 tribes. LOT was NOT the contemporary of the 12 tribes so there's no way what you quoted would square with biblical genealogy.

What you were referring to was from the book of Judges when Benjaminites (tribe of Benjamin) so mistreated a father's daughter than he cut her up in pieces and sent them to the other tribes.

The resulting slaughter was so great that the High Priest were worries that the tribe of Benjamin would become extinct.

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica
I use to be so board in church, that I would look through the Bible for fucked up stories.
There are so many of them.

One of my favorite all time stories was when the 2 angels disguised as travelrs visited Lot in the city of Sodom. If you look in the King James Version...it says...the men of the city came to the door of the house demanding that Lot give up the travelers so they could have sex with them. Lot refused...and sent out his maid servant to them instead. They raped and killed her. Lot then cut her into 12 pieces and sent each of the pieces to the 12 tribes of Isreal as a reminder of what sin does to mankind.

05-04-2001, 01:27 AM	#1
Exxxotica Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregun Posts: 4,396	What's your Favorite Bible Story? I use to be so board in church, that I would look through the Bible for fucked up stories. There are so many of them. One of my favorite all time stories was when the 2 angels disguised as travelrs visited Lot in the city of Sodom. If you look in the King James Version...it says...the men of the city came to the door of the house demanding that Lot give up the travelers so they could have sex with them. Lot refused...and sent out his maid servant to them instead. They raped and killed her. Lot then cut her into 12 pieces and sent each of the pieces to the 12 tribes of Isreal as a reminder of what sin does to mankind.

12-21-2003, 04:54 PM	#15
Clovis Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Turtle Island Posts: 412	I like the one where Jesus comes out of the ground and if he sees his shadow we have three more weeks of winter. __________________ Thank God for little rebills www.jadecandle.com just fucking submit

12-21-2003, 04:55 PM	#16
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	I like the temptation of Christ in the desert/wilderness by the Devil. Oh, and Job's story is incredible. Would you kill your only son if you heard a voice from a burning bush telling you to? yeah, neither would I. I'd go to the psychiatrist first. __________________ email: [email protected]

12-21-2003, 10:20 PM	#20
PinkMonkey Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Vancouver Posts: 189	"The End" __________________ www.emilysweet.com www.coinscuties.com Flee the Country and Grow Some Dreds!!!

12-21-2003, 10:30 PM	#21
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	I like the one where Jesus was in the WWF in a 2 on 1 match against Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. __________________ 26 + 6 = 1

05-04-2001, 01:29 AM	#2
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	I see a represed version of Diabetic Rage in Exxxotica.

05-04-2001, 01:34 AM	#3
Exxxotica Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregun Posts: 4,396	Fuck no! That guy is a Religious Freak! Im glad Im only related to him by marriage!

05-04-2001, 01:37 AM	#4
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	Where is Mike Bradley.. Someone call him and bring him here to comment!

05-04-2001, 01:39 AM	#5
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	<center>I like the part where God yells onto Earth and Says <h2><center>AND LET THERE BE BONEPRONE 4-LIFE</h2> God Bless The BONEPRONE FAMILY! [This message has been edited by boneprone (edited 05-04-2001).]

05-04-2001, 01:41 AM	#6
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	was that in the Bible? I think it is in the New King Bone Version?

05-04-2001, 01:43 AM	#7
Exxxotica Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregun Posts: 4,396	I talked to Mike Bradley earlier, he lost his password and is still searching for it. Yes Bone...That IS in the Bible!!!!

05-04-2001, 01:46 AM	#8
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	I always wondered if adam and eve had belly buttons..

05-04-2001, 02:07 AM	#10
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	Well if you think about it.. It says that God created man in his own image.. So does God have one? If he does.. Where did he get it from?

05-04-2001, 02:09 AM	#11
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	I think men got nipples because woman whould look pretty damn funny with 4 nipples.. hehe ...

05-04-2001, 03:40 AM	#13
MindWaste Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tac Town Posts: 3,662	Ahh yes.. One for each hand and then the other two for a head rest. Whould be nice but I whouldent want to see a 80 year old with four tits saggin on the ground as she walks away.

12-21-2003, 04:49 PM	#14
Jamdin Registered User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,560	My favorite bible story is Samson. The guy screws up big time by telling Delilah his one weakness. The ending rocks because a blind Samson pushes down the pillars. I also like Noah and the ark...

12-21-2003, 07:44 PM	#17
anidifranco So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 711	The one where the jew at the front desk turned away the Virgin Mary.

12-21-2003, 07:53 PM	#18
Happy Dicks Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 96	I'll start with Sodom. The one about cutting the whore into 12 pieces ain't in the Bible, Jewish legend maybe. But the real sin there is likely not homosexuality, but sex magic, attempted communion with angels to get power and secrets from them. If you look in 1 Enoch (not in the Bible) the same thing happens with Noah's flood. My favorite story is when Jesus saves the adulteress from being stoned. Jesus was cool, he was willing to forgive people for sinning and he was killed for speaking out against religious authorities of his day. That's my

12-21-2003, 09:23 PM	#19
pornkitten Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,412	David and Goliath, which is why its always better to be friendly. I also like the Jesus helping Mary, it is sad that there are so many judgemental christians. Too bad they dont know they are going to hell...kidding

12-21-2003, 10:32 PM	#22
pamphage Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Hollywood, CA Posts: 3,569	i like the story in Revelation 12:24 where the idiots didn't respond to 2 year old threads __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

12-21-2003, 11:01 PM	#23
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,251	Leviticus 20:13

12-21-2003, 11:03 PM	#24
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	when the jews convince a race to all get circumcized and then while they're all screaming in pain over the operation they decide to just kill them all. __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.