On wednsday I have to go to court or whatever and establish paternity and what I'm going to have to pay for child support. I don't need an attourney for that do I? I think there is some kind of calculation they use for everyone to figure out how much you pay.

except in this day and age, a good majority of households are dual income already just to stay afloat. So if both are working, what reason is there for awarding alimony? She's already got a job. Fortunately, when I divorced, I was in a non-alimony state. Alimony today is archaic. It's not 1950 anymore.

As far as living in the same school district, that's not always a good thing either. Some divorces end in restraining orders and all kinds of other bad shit. Not everyone has the faculties to conduct themselves like a decent human being. And for the ones that do, I still must disagree. Providing no one has done anything criminal, you can't force them to live somewhere if they don't want to.

this does work the other way around. my sons mother is a total fucking deadbeat that is currently running from the law. she has one last chance at a court date, dec 10th. i hope she doesnt show. would love to see her in jail where her scabby ass belongs.

If I were you I would DEFINATELY get an attorney, or you are going to get assraped like you won't believe. Once they establish paternity, they can judge against you for backpay to the day the kid was born, they can do alot of nasty things to you that are virtually impossible to get reversed.

Get a lawyer.

Like you, I gave him what was his, kept what was mine - took all the debts because I knew he wouldn't make it - put myself in a big hole - gave him the chance to get back on his feet - he paid the back child support which was minimal (since I didn't give bullshit calculations - despite his lawyer & mine suggesting I do) and now he pays nothing since our son wants to live with us equally - I still have full custody but we have him one week each and I asked the courts to stop collecting money from his pay.

Always most important to take care of your children, but, people abuse the system really bad....Here is my tale.

My wife's ex has claimed being broke, having not enough to make ends meet week to week and crying in general about how broke he is. Cant afford gas to drop her off, really was a sad story.

We go to drop off my wife's daughter at her fathers house as usual after a weekend visit. The father again starts his I am so broke routine again with her. I walked over as they started getting a bit heated and asked them both what the deal is.

He tells me that he wants support from her and has been talking to lawyers to sue for back support. Never before was the request for support made to her via the courts.

I asked him how much money is he in need of, what can we work out that helps everyone while benefiting the child most importantly....

He refused any help from me, looked me dead in the eye and told me he was going to bankrupt me, lol.....

We go to court, he gets 3 months back support in addition to the $500 a month plus us covering 100% of the child's healthcare.

Then, he has a new truck, snowmobile, going on a cruise the kid tells us. His girlfriend with 2 other kids are now living there that the girlfriend gets support on, as well....the house he lives in was a gift from his parents. He refinanced the house, another 80k in the pocket.

Got a new deck on his house, tatoos all over, even enrolled in the local community college, goes to the local pubs with his buddies every weekend like clock worrk.

We have come to find that the child is living with his mother, not even in the same house as him. As he is cashing them checks each month.

We have tried evey legal avenue that we can think of to correct this and make him accountable for these actions. Unfornately, the state of PA doesnt see things that way. Once a case is in the system you can drag this out for years with appeals, delays, etc.

Bottom line here, if you are asking for or having to pay money, each party should have to be more accountable for what they take or what they pay. People that steal from children are just scum.

I can't stand it when people whine about child support.

I have serious issues with alimony, I don't think someone should get a monthly stipend just because they happened to be married to you once....but child support is a whole different story.

The guy's story that started this thread doesn't make sense to me....medical expenses that the insurance didn't cover?
Then don't pay the medical bills and let them sue you....don't skip out on your child support to pay the fucking hospital.

I don't know how it works in other states, but in Louisiana they have a book with tables in it. You add up the gross income of the mother and the father, find that number in the table and it gives you a dollar amount.
If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support. Pretty cut and dried.

As for the wife getting the house, it is normal for whomever keeps the kids to keep the house. Or would you rather stay in the house yourself and have your children living in a roach infested apartment?

They're your fucking kids, take care of them. They didn't ask to be born and you gave up your right to put yourself first when you had them.

:2 cents:

do you not see the flaws in that?

Flaw #1: Based on gross income. If NOT paying the IRS is an option, then fine... base it on gross income. Since that's not going to ever happen, the gross income justification is unjust.

Flaw #2: "If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support.": When this person was IN THE HOUSE, 60% of the household income was NOT going to the kids. It was going to alot of things. Mortgage, electric, water, auto insurance, etc. Except now that he's out, the kids just got a raise didn't they. 60% straight to the kids.

not cut and dried at all.... flawed.

:thumbsup

My dad has payed $440 a month since 1993 for my brother and I. The agreement says 18% of his income plus 50% of his stock from the company he works for. I feel bad because my mom struggled for so long, couldn't afford coats in the winter, and any time he got a raise, he never increased what he paid, and she still hasnt seen the stock. Now he is remarried, and she is still alone supporting my little brother, basically living check to check. I love my dad to death, but fuck, he could have helped her out more than he did.

You're quite right, Amp...but why do both have to work?
Kids can be raised just as well on KMart as they can on Neiman Marcus....and, it doesn't necessarily have to be her that is the one who stays home....just don't let day cares raise your kids...why have them....and there in lies another solution.

If you don't have the finances to be with the child you create, don't have children.

As to alimony....I've seen too many couples, all wide eyed and dewy...decide she or he is staying home...when the marriage goes away, you've got one person who is skilled to do nothing....after all, not everyone is an extraordinary writer or outstanding designer :).

Sterilisation isn't a bad thing, either....

I don't have a solution for those who have to have restraining orders....it's pretty sad when it comes to that....and, parents shouting 'sexual abuse', just to get custody...oh, the stories I could tell.

Youre right ! :(

Having fought a custody battle in PA, Herb....I can tell you the courts are fucked.

We were very fortunate in our choice of lawyers...he had the number one father's rights attorneys and I had the number two custody lawyer in the state.

Between the two of them, they kept us reasonable.

Five years of hammering out agreements and 30 thousand dollars later, we had a working arrangement.

No alimony.
No child support. We shared big expenses. But, food and clothing, other than my son's yearly suit, were separate costs.
Whoever had health insurance put the kid on theirs.
Big gifts were shared expenses.
We did not live in the same school district and my son complained about that.
We shared the cost of his private school, right down to the uniforms.

We did not get along. At all. The beating he gave me the day he kidnapped my son caused all kinds of trouble.

But, in the end, my lawyer kept me from going to court, as did his.

What our lawyers told us each time we had one of our 'conferences' at 300 dollars an hour....was this.

The courts WILL fuck you up.

Staying out of court and hammering out an acceptable agreement will cost you money and save you heartache.

They were right.

Washington state has a fairly black and white way of calculating child support. It is paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent and is based on a standardized calculation that uses both parents income to come up with a household income, then that total income is used to determine how much money is customarily spent on a child's basic needs in a household with that income. Once that number is determined, each parent contributes his/her percentage of that monthly amount based on their percentage of the household income. In other words if the father makes 60% of the total income he contributes 60% of the child support obligation. The mother contributes the other 40%. Where this gets screwed is if one parent or the other doesn't work. The courts here can and have required the unemployed parent to provide proof of job search etc, in order to keep parents from purposely remaining unemployed.


There are actually online support calculators for some states at http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm

My dad pays $400/mo child support for each child...currently there are 3 he's paying for so that's $1200/mo, and he pays my mother something like $500/mo in alimony payments. He is just barely squeaking by. What's truly sick about this is my mom rarely spends a penny of that money on her children. I feel pretty bad for my dad..he never misses a payment and he doesn't complain about it. I think it's fucked up he has to pay that much and it's not even being used for anything but my mother's personal enjoyment. I live with my mom and I love her but I wish she would take financial responsibility for my siblings.

child support here is awful aswell in australia.
i was making around 70000 a year and finding it very hard to get by because of tax/child support.
anything after 50000 a year you get taxed 47% and then get slugged 27% child support for 2 kids.

child support is calculated before tax, and does not take into consideration mortgage food etc.

prenump =)

I was married for not quite 3 years and we had one kid. The whole time we were married my wife did nothing to contribute besides spending money. If I let her have her way we would have been bankrupt within 6 months. When we divorced she got over $200,000 (which she blew in less than a year).

I now have custody of my kid 4 days a week and she has him 3 days a week and I still have to pay her $700 a month child support.

If you're going to get married hide your fucking assets.

:stop

:waaaaahh