You're quite right, Amp...but why do both have to work?
Kids can be raised just as well on KMart as they can on Neiman Marcus....and, it doesn't necessarily have to be her that is the one who stays home....just don't let day cares raise your kids...why have them....and there in lies another solution.

If you don't have the finances to be with the child you create, don't have children.

As to alimony....I've seen too many couples, all wide eyed and dewy...decide she or he is staying home...when the marriage goes away, you've got one person who is skilled to do nothing....after all, not everyone is an extraordinary writer or outstanding designer :).

Sterilisation isn't a bad thing, either....

I don't have a solution for those who have to have restraining orders....it's pretty sad when it comes to that....and, parents shouting 'sexual abuse', just to get custody...oh, the stories I could tell.

Youre right ! :(

Having fought a custody battle in PA, Herb....I can tell you the courts are fucked.

We were very fortunate in our choice of lawyers...he had the number one father's rights attorneys and I had the number two custody lawyer in the state.

Between the two of them, they kept us reasonable.

Five years of hammering out agreements and 30 thousand dollars later, we had a working arrangement.

No alimony.
No child support. We shared big expenses. But, food and clothing, other than my son's yearly suit, were separate costs.
Whoever had health insurance put the kid on theirs.
Big gifts were shared expenses.
We did not live in the same school district and my son complained about that.
We shared the cost of his private school, right down to the uniforms.

We did not get along. At all. The beating he gave me the day he kidnapped my son caused all kinds of trouble.

But, in the end, my lawyer kept me from going to court, as did his.

What our lawyers told us each time we had one of our 'conferences' at 300 dollars an hour....was this.

The courts WILL fuck you up.

Staying out of court and hammering out an acceptable agreement will cost you money and save you heartache.

They were right.

Washington state has a fairly black and white way of calculating child support. It is paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent and is based on a standardized calculation that uses both parents income to come up with a household income, then that total income is used to determine how much money is customarily spent on a child's basic needs in a household with that income. Once that number is determined, each parent contributes his/her percentage of that monthly amount based on their percentage of the household income. In other words if the father makes 60% of the total income he contributes 60% of the child support obligation. The mother contributes the other 40%. Where this gets screwed is if one parent or the other doesn't work. The courts here can and have required the unemployed parent to provide proof of job search etc, in order to keep parents from purposely remaining unemployed.


There are actually online support calculators for some states at http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm

My dad pays $400/mo child support for each child...currently there are 3 he's paying for so that's $1200/mo, and he pays my mother something like $500/mo in alimony payments. He is just barely squeaking by. What's truly sick about this is my mom rarely spends a penny of that money on her children. I feel pretty bad for my dad..he never misses a payment and he doesn't complain about it. I think it's fucked up he has to pay that much and it's not even being used for anything but my mother's personal enjoyment. I live with my mom and I love her but I wish she would take financial responsibility for my siblings.

child support here is awful aswell in australia.
i was making around 70000 a year and finding it very hard to get by because of tax/child support.
anything after 50000 a year you get taxed 47% and then get slugged 27% child support for 2 kids.

child support is calculated before tax, and does not take into consideration mortgage food etc.

prenump =)

I was married for not quite 3 years and we had one kid. The whole time we were married my wife did nothing to contribute besides spending money. If I let her have her way we would have been bankrupt within 6 months. When we divorced she got over $200,000 (which she blew in less than a year).

I now have custody of my kid 4 days a week and she has him 3 days a week and I still have to pay her $700 a month child support.

If you're going to get married hide your fucking assets.

:stop

:waaaaahh