Could your child be a hacker? - GoFuckYourself.com

evilregis · 11-16-2003, 12:54 AM

http://www.sciaphobia.net/hacker.html

HAHAHA a friend sent this to me today... what really chaps my ass is this guy is going on like he's an expert about how to tell if your child is a hacker, but he has *NO* idea what he's even talking about. Unbelievable to me that someone seems like they spent more time writing the article than they did researching what constitutes a "hacker" and tries to get parents to follow these ridiculous guidlines. Too stupid for words.

Exerpts:

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Plan9 · 11-16-2003, 12:59 AM

psst. I think its a joke ;)

BluntMatch · 11-16-2003, 01:00 AM

That is the funniest shit I've ever read!

evilregis · 11-16-2003, 01:02 AM

no man... i asked my buddy the same thing when i read it... if it was a joke. apparently that site also has an article linking day care to communism.

BluntMatch · 11-16-2003, 01:06 AM

11. Did your son buy a new luxury car?

GeXus · 11-16-2003, 01:07 AM

17 year old daughter "sneek" out on a date wearing make up? Since when is 17 concidered to young to date.

evilregis · 11-16-2003, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BluntMatch
11. Did your son buy a new luxury car?

wouldn't that be "how to tell if your child is a successful pornographer?"

Baal · 11-16-2003, 01:22 AM

Yeah, that site must be for real, since it's on the Internet and all.
You should check out a site called The Onion . There are all sorts of TRUE stories like this one that will blow your mind!

fuzebox · 11-16-2003, 01:38 AM

Doesn't anyone else remember that "Gibbons" was the name of the "anti-hacking" FBI agent in the movie Hackers from 1996?

I can't believe how many people are taking the article, look at the idiocy in its comments :p

Smokey The Bear · 11-16-2003, 01:39 AM

um duh its a joke , try reading the homepage its an excerpt of an old old story

<img src="http://www.sciaphobia.net/gallery/fbsowns.jpg">

aaron · 11-16-2003, 01:41 AM

jesus you guys just found this? its fucking old!!!!!!

$5 submissions · 11-16-2003, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smokey The Bear
um duh its a joke , try reading the homepage its an excerpt of an old old story

<img src="http://www.sciaphobia.net/gallery/fbsowns.jpg">

That FREE BSD devil sure knows how to lay the pipe onto some quivering helpless tender twink Penguin bunghole!
Funny picture, Smokey!!!

$5 submissions · 11-16-2003, 03:02 AM

That list is not complete...

No. 14 If your son keeps asking his friends for fresh proxies every 8 hours, your son just may be a hacker.

No. 15 If your child keeps using the terms IP and port and she is neither talking about urination or maritime navigation, your child just may be a hacker.

LOL. This is like the geek version of the tired Jeff Foxworthy "You may be a redneck" schtick.

Project-Shadow · 11-16-2003, 05:30 AM

I remember reading that 2 years ago ^_^''

11-16-2003, 12:54 AM	#1
evilregis Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 163	Could your child be a hacker? http://www.sciaphobia.net/hacker.html HAHAHA a friend sent this to me today... what really chaps my ass is this guy is going on like he's an expert about how to tell if your child is a hacker, but he has NO idea what he's even talking about. Unbelievable to me that someone seems like they spent more time writing the article than they did researching what constitutes a "hacker" and tries to get parents to follow these ridiculous guidlines. Too stupid for words. Exerpts: Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone. __________________ eR :: beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder ::

11-16-2003, 01:02 AM	#4
evilregis Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 163	no man... i asked my buddy the same thing when i read it... if it was a joke. apparently that site also has an article linking day care to communism. __________________ eR :: beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder ::

11-16-2003, 01:07 AM	#6
GeXus Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: Yo Mommas Pussy Posts: 3,320	17 year old daughter "sneek" out on a date wearing make up? Since when is 17 concidered to young to date. __________________

11-16-2003, 01:39 AM	#10
Smokey The Bear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: In my house Posts: 786	um duh its a joke , try reading the homepage its an excerpt of an old old story <img src="http://www.sciaphobia.net/gallery/fbsowns.jpg"> Last edited by Smokey The Bear; 11-16-2003 at 01:42 AM..

11-16-2003, 03:02 AM	#13
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	That list is not complete... No. 14 If your son keeps asking his friends for fresh proxies every 8 hours, your son just may be a hacker. No. 15 If your child keeps using the terms IP and port and she is neither talking about urination or maritime navigation, your child just may be a hacker. LOL. This is like the geek version of the tired Jeff Foxworthy "You may be a redneck" schtick. __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

11-16-2003, 12:59 AM	#2
Plan9 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,801	psst. I think its a joke ;)

11-16-2003, 01:00 AM	#3
BluntMatch Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 380	That is the funniest shit I've ever read!

11-16-2003, 01:06 AM	#5
BluntMatch Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 380	11. Did your son buy a new luxury car?

11-16-2003, 01:22 AM	#8
Baal Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: SoCal Posts: 696	Yeah, that site must be for real, since it's on the Internet and all. You should check out a site called The Onion . There are all sorts of TRUE stories like this one that will blow your mind!

11-16-2003, 01:38 AM	#9
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,117	Doesn't anyone else remember that "Gibbons" was the name of the "anti-hacking" FBI agent in the movie Hackers from 1996? I can't believe how many people are taking the article, look at the idiocy in its comments :p

11-16-2003, 01:41 AM	#11
aaron Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: USA Posts: 4,452	jesus you guys just found this? its fucking old!!!!!!

11-16-2003, 05:30 AM	#14
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	I remember reading that 2 years ago ^_^''