:uhoh

:321GFY

clams have feelings too

cyborg=ghey!

:BangBang:

Get a life

wheres my slice?

of pie?

up your ass

ok ill stop bashing you. its not fun when your depressed.

Joke time fuckers

Adam 'n' Eve

Q: Who made the first soft drink?

A: Adam -- he made Eve's cherry pop

read a book on comebacks biatch!

After the Honeymoon...

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"

The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!''

:1orglaugh

:fart

Cannibals

Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man who had recently passed away.
One cannibal says, "Look at this! You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle."

So the two cannibals start eating.

After a half an hour one stops eating, looks up, and says, "I don't know about you, but this is great! How are you doing?"

The other cannibal answers, "This is great! I'm havin' a ball!"

The other cannibal says, "Hey, no fair! You're eating too fast!"

awwww how cute. your parents.:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

A Country War

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting in a war, and both were caught by the enemy.
"Before i put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
The Alabama man said, "Could you shoot me after you play the song 'Yeah, Alabama?"

"Sure," the man agreed. "How about you?"

The Tennessee man said, "would please you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?"

:ugone2far

how cute SuicideMachine
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Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

:321GFY

???

Mazda

ouch

:1orglaugh

:ak47:

:ak47:

:winkwink:

:disgust

looks like fun!:1orglaugh

Me me me me me take me me me me me ;-)

ChrisL

:boid

:xomunch

:2 cents:

:BangBang:

http://www.funny-pictures-4all.com/g...supermodel.jpg

:Graucho

:1orglaugh

:ak47: to the coke user!

:sleep

Yup

:zzwhip

Another one