Best Story Ever! - GoFuckYourself.com

sperbonzo · 10-22-2003, 11:59 AM

OK, I know it's long.....but HANG IN THERE! This is the truest story that I have ever read about....

* Men and Women on Life *

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good
time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they
enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and
after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs
to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:

"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other
for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car.

To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself:
Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been
feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to
push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't
sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind
of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space,
so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep
going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are
we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level
of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children?
Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment?
Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see... February
when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the
dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am
way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe
I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has
sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some
reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant
to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being
rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the
transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still
not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold
weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this
thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those
incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be
angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't
help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
warranty . . . scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for
a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting
right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with,
a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care
about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered,
schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give
them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up
their...

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes
beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh
God, I feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight.
I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no
horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he
can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up
with one that he thinks might work.

"Yes," he says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really
feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing
him to become very nervous about what she might say next,
especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns
on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a
tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny
voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major
was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is
no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better
if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and
everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring
every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning,
considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks,
maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual
friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown,
and say,

"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

hyatla · 10-22-2003, 12:02 PM

And that's why I only date guys now.

myjah · 10-22-2003, 12:02 PM

you're right...it is long

Milena Dickman · 10-22-2003, 12:03 PM

hahahahha! That´s just the way it is!!!

PornDiscounts-V · 10-22-2003, 12:13 PM

Ain't love grand.

sperbonzo · 10-22-2003, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by vvvvv
Ain't love grand.

It has nothing to do with love or lack of it.....it's just the contrast of how male and female minds work.....that's what makes it so funny!

IntenseCash · 10-22-2003, 12:22 PM

LOL

thats funny. My gf and I think on the same level. Most relationships are really like that though. crazy

that reminds me... today is our 5 month anniversary

sperbonzo · 10-22-2003, 01:57 PM

I NEVER do this normally, but........BUMP

10-22-2003, 02:01 PM

MetaformX · 10-22-2003, 04:11 PM

hehehe
excellent story. females really are complex beats, aint they?

10-22-2003, 11:59 AM	#1
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	Best Story Ever! OK, I know it's long.....but HANG IN THERE! This is the truest story that I have ever read about.... * Men and Women on Life * Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty . . . scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work. "Yes," he says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn. When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

10-22-2003, 12:02 PM	#2
hyatla Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,720	And that's why I only date guys now. __________________ <a href="http://click.dtiserv2.com/Click/1125-99-us979" target="_blank">DTI cash: Top Asian Sponsor, $75 to new affiliates</a><br> <br> ICQ: 274731765

10-22-2003, 12:02 PM	#3
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	you're right...it is long __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

10-22-2003, 12:03 PM	#4
Milena Dickman Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Brazil Posts: 501	hahahahha! That´s just the way it is!!! __________________ work hard. play hard. http://www.dickmansdesign.com MSN milenadickman at hotmail.com iCQ # 276820774

10-22-2003, 12:22 PM	#7
IntenseCash Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Colorado Posts: 2,421	LOL thats funny. My gf and I think on the same level. Most relationships are really like that though. crazy that reminds me... today is our 5 month anniversary __________________ IntenseCash.com ~ Chuck \| ICQ: 444887112 Top converting sites: BrokeStraightBoys.com, CollegeDudes.com & CollegeBoyPhysicals.com

10-22-2003, 12:13 PM	#5
PornDiscounts-V Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: L.A. Posts: 5,744	Ain't love grand.

10-22-2003, 01:57 PM	#8
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	I NEVER do this normally, but........BUMP

10-22-2003, 04:11 PM	#10
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	hehehe excellent story. females really are complex beats, aint they? __________________

10-22-2003, 02:01 PM	#9
buddyjuf Guest Posts: n/a