New Rules - GoFuckYourself.com

baddog · 10-19-2003, 03:20 AM

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
-----------------------------------
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down..

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Poo-Chee · 10-19-2003, 03:22 AM

ok.. Thanks for telling me

Rorschach · 10-19-2003, 03:23 AM

So true.

baddog · 10-19-2003, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Poo-Chee
ok.. Thanks for telling me

no problem

Sosa · 10-19-2003, 11:03 PM

haha nice

bunky · 10-19-2003, 11:07 PM

and the truth is told. that should be in some museum some where...

Brad-Wishing · 10-19-2003, 11:09 PM

Absolutely perfect.

You have been promoted in the ranks at GFY as far as I say.

SleazyDream · 10-19-2003, 11:11 PM

that would make things way too easy

Peter Romero · 10-19-2003, 11:17 PM

I'm framing that and making every female who walks in my door read it... then sign it. Be she maid, model, employee, POV Porn girl or guests of either - it shall be done!!! And, on this day - let it be writen, and spoken aloud - that we take back our balls and bullwhip and comence to take over the land again. Go with me my brothers and wipe out all doubt of what yee here has been writen and enforce these rules to death do us part...

signed by my penis.

baddog · 10-19-2003, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brad-Wishing
Absolutely perfect.

You have been promoted in the ranks at GFY as far as I say.

well, you have been here 2 1/2 weeks now, you should have some pull around here

baddog · 10-19-2003, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by POV Porn guy
I'm framing that and making every female who walks in my door read it... then sign it. Be she maid, model, employee, POV Porn girl or guests of either - it shall be done!!! And, on this day - let it be writen, and spoken aloud - that we take back our balls and bullwhip and comence to take over the land again. Go with me my brothers and wipe out all doubt of what yee here has been writen and enforce these rules to death do us part...

signed by my penis.

I presume I can count on your vote when the next recall election comes around

myjah · 10-22-2003, 11:37 AM

very cute

myjah · 10-22-2003, 11:38 AM

too cute

markell · 10-22-2003, 11:40 AM

how true all of that is

klik · 10-22-2003, 11:43 AM

the toilet seat one is the best... none of the others could live up to it.

JDog · 10-22-2003, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by POV Porn guy
I'm framing that and making every female who walks in my door read it... then sign it. Be she maid, model, employee, POV Porn girl or guests of either - it shall be done!!! And, on this day - let it be writen, and spoken aloud - that we take back our balls and bullwhip and comence to take over the land again. Go with me my brothers and wipe out all doubt of what yee here has been writen and enforce these rules to death do us part...

signed by my penis.

Not a bad idea! I'll stick it on my front door, for all my neighbor chicks to read!

jDoG

Chris E · 10-22-2003, 12:13 PM

all too true!

10-19-2003, 03:20 AM	#1
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	New Rules We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! ----------------------------------- 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

10-19-2003, 11:07 PM	#6
bunky Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Charlotte NC USA Posts: 902	and the truth is told. that should be in some museum some where... __________________ BoneProne 4 Life - BoneProne Family [insert title here]

10-19-2003, 11:09 PM	#7
Brad-Wishing Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 2,415	Absolutely perfect. You have been promoted in the ranks at GFY as far as I say. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-19-2003, 11:11 PM	#8
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	that would make things way too easy __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

10-19-2003, 11:17 PM	#9
Peter Romero Long time no happy ending Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: San Diego CA Posts: 10,578	I'm framing that and making every female who walks in my door read it... then sign it. Be she maid, model, employee, POV Porn girl or guests of either - it shall be done!!! And, on this day - let it be writen, and spoken aloud - that we take back our balls and bullwhip and comence to take over the land again. Go with me my brothers and wipe out all doubt of what yee here has been writen and enforce these rules to death do us part... signed by my penis. __________________ POVCash [email protected] See them all here: http://www.Petergirls.com

10-19-2003, 03:22 AM	#2
Poo-Chee So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Rotterdam Posts: 3,560	ok.. Thanks for telling me

10-19-2003, 03:23 AM	#3
Rorschach So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,579	So true.

10-19-2003, 11:03 PM	#5
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	haha nice

10-22-2003, 11:37 AM	#12
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	very cute __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

10-22-2003, 11:38 AM	#13
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	too cute __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

10-22-2003, 11:40 AM	#14
markell Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Las Vegas & Los Angeles Posts: 1,190	how true all of that is __________________ blah blah fucking blah

10-22-2003, 11:43 AM	#15
klik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: san diego Posts: 5,092	the toilet seat one is the best... none of the others could live up to it.

10-22-2003, 12:13 PM	#17
Chris E Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,895	all too true!