New Rules
 

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down..

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

ok.. Thanks for telling me

So true.

no problem

haha nice :thumbsup

and the truth is told. that should be in some museum some where...

Absolutely perfect.

You have been promoted in the ranks at GFY as far as I say.

that would make things way too easy

I'm framing that and making every female who walks in my door read it... then sign it. Be she maid, model, employee, POV Porn girl or guests of either - it shall be done!!! And, on this day - let it be writen, and spoken aloud - that we take back our balls and bullwhip and comence to take over the land again. Go with me my brothers and wipe out all doubt of what yee here has been writen and enforce these rules to death do us part...

signed by my penis.

well, you have been here 2 1/2 weeks now, you should have some pull around here :1orglaugh

I presume I can count on your vote when the next recall election comes around :thumbsup

very cute

too cute

:1orglaugh how true all of that is

the toilet seat one is the best... none of the others could live up to it.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh Not a bad idea! I'll stick it on my front door, for all my neighbor chicks to read! :thumbsup

jDoG

all too true!