Things I wonder about - GoFuckYourself.com

foolio · 10-13-2003, 10:40 AM

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever the hell comes out!"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you try singing the two songs above?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? On the same note, does pushing the cross walk button more than once change the light faster?

RedShoe · 10-13-2003, 10:42 AM

welcome to the middle of last... oh fuck it.
you're late.

Ross · 10-13-2003, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedShoe
welcome to the middle of last... oh fuck it.
you're late.

HAHA

Still funny tho...

hyatla · 10-13-2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Too cold, light bulb will break. I tried, seriously.

brand0n · 10-13-2003, 10:51 AM

didnt i just read this in another thread?

gornyhuy · 10-13-2003, 10:58 AM

On a serious note though, you really have to wonder:

1)Who invented beer: drink yeast shit and it gets you drunk.
2)Who invented bread: again with the yeast

I mean, were yeast just wandering around in giant blobs in prehistoric days so we accidentally stumbled across the 2 most fundamental processes of rising dough and fermentation?

Crazy...

gleb · 10-13-2003, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

"Its sounds, smells feelings etc. If you have no concept of light or shape, you cannot have dreams in that form.

If someone has been totally blind since birth, they only have auditory dreams."

-- google

Tala · 10-13-2003, 11:11 AM

I don't care how old it is, it's still funny.

EZRhino · 10-13-2003, 11:13 AM

I still love it ........

RedShoe · 10-13-2003, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hyatla

Too cold, light bulb will break. I tried, seriously.

uhm. Moron. I used to work in a sub-zero meat packing plant, and we had lights in there.

Missy · 10-13-2003, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you try singing the two songs above?

LOL... you got me on that one!

Amputate Your Head · 10-13-2003, 11:38 AM

don't have the answers to all of them, but here's a few...

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

some people like food burnt. I like bacon to be burnt to death.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

I have a light in my freezer....

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

no... carpool lane usually requires three or more.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

no sealer to make it waterproof.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

to reinforce the reasoning behind bothering someone for the time by illustrating they have either forgotten their watch or simply don't own one... the bathroom question is usually indicated by doing the pee dance rather than pointing. Different body language for different things.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Decency and professionalism. It's not a strip show.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

who cares... it's a stupid cartoon.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

1. of course. Do you need your eyes open to dream?
2. of course. They are still human.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

would negate the need for one of the most popular running cartoons in history now wouldn't it.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

analytical.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

I'm sure the ingredients are listed on the back of the bottle.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

no.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

the mouse just works there... he doesn't operate it.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

yes

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Why did you try singing the two songs above?

to provide you with an answer to the last dumb question.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

in terms of eating it, I would venture to say yes... in terms of reading it, probably not.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

wouldn't you get pissed if some guy was blowing his smelly fucking breath in YOUR face? Even dogs like fresh air. You want some guy blowing in your face in place of the wind from say, a rollercoaster? Not really the same thing are they.

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? On the same note, does pushing the cross walk button more than once change the light faster?

no, and no.

digi · 10-13-2003, 11:41 AM

if you sing twinkle twinkle little star and then play it backwards you actually say "i hate allah"

spoooky

10-13-2003, 10:40 AM	#1
foolio ICQ: 178725656 Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 12,366	Things I wonder about Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever the hell comes out!" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you try singing the two songs above? Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? On the same note, does pushing the cross walk button more than once change the light faster? __________________

10-13-2003, 10:42 AM	#2
RedShoe 赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111 Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Valley Posts: 14,831	welcome to the middle of last... oh fuck it. you're late. __________________ SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX Superheroes • Monsters • Robots PM for details For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise. aka BonsHigh on Insta Bonsai weed plants

10-13-2003, 10:51 AM	#5
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	didnt i just read this in another thread? __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

10-13-2003, 10:58 AM	#6
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	On a serious note though, you really have to wonder: 1)Who invented beer: drink yeast shit and it gets you drunk. 2)Who invented bread: again with the yeast I mean, were yeast just wandering around in giant blobs in prehistoric days so we accidentally stumbled across the 2 most fundamental processes of rising dough and fermentation? Crazy... __________________ icq:159548293

10-13-2003, 11:11 AM	#8
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	I don't care how old it is, it's still funny. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

10-13-2003, 11:13 AM	#9
EZRhino Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: couch Posts: 6,258	I still love it ........

10-13-2003, 11:41 AM	#13
digi Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ON, Canada Posts: 1,314	if you sing twinkle twinkle little star and then play it backwards you actually say "i hate allah" spoooky