Things To Know About TX! - GoFuckYourself.com

dougeetx · 09-26-2003, 01:28 AM

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the
air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no
one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25, then it stops totally
until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop
them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few
weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a
doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word

A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the cows, or
swimmin.

There ain't no such thing as"lunch". There is only dinner and then there's
supper.

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it
when you are two.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You Know you are from Texas if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch for "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no
one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5.You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. (note:
in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....)
6 All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables for your own car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
l0. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup, and
Tabasco.
11. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
12. You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
13. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but
requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
16. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm
17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and
Christmas.
18. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas
as soon as he opens his mouth.
19 Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or
"off to Wally-world".
20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke
regardless of brand of flavor.
22. You understand these jokes.

Chris · 09-26-2003, 01:56 AM

God i miss texas lol

i lived there all my life tell ike 3 years ago ...

the " jeet " thing kiled me

so fucking true thinkin bout it

easyjesus · 09-26-2003, 03:46 AM

should I be offended?

(¤¤)»»»»»»Þ · 09-26-2003, 03:50 AM

Pickled Okra kicks ass.

Reak · 09-26-2003, 03:58 AM

Texas got my love

vicki · 09-26-2003, 05:14 AM

oh nu-uh!

I'll have you know that we're eddycated betternat, heck we were the only ones on that ther cruze ship that thunk well nuff ta pack ar pockit fishermans!!

StacyCat · 09-26-2003, 01:44 PM

I so totatlly loved it! though, the spices thing is wrong for me, but i live in austin, so yall can forgive me, right? :-)

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 09-26-2003, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StacyCat
I so totatlly loved it! though, the spices thing is wrong for me, but i live in austin, so yall can forgive me, right? :-)

Austin is the only palce in Texas as far as I am concerned.... i miss that great great great city

Tofu · 09-26-2003, 02:34 PM

Lots of wonderful Fat Girls in Texas. And they taste great too!

hollywood · 09-26-2003, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tofu-Adult.com
Lots of wonderful Fat Girls in Texas. And they taste great too!

You must be smokin something loopy - TX girls are hot!

Tofu · 09-26-2003, 03:11 PM

You TOTALLY missed the point dude. I LoVe the Fat Girls in TX! Lemmie Illustrate.....

phpslave · 09-26-2003, 03:14 PM

what about the ranch dressing, that comes with everything?

And the fact that i only lived there 4 years, now everywhere i go i'm know as a Texan.

Texas Native

arial · 09-26-2003, 03:17 PM

HAHA 19 is so true we call it "Wally-world" here.

phpslave · 09-26-2003, 03:20 PM

you can really tell east texan by the way they talk, if there not from the city. lol....

sltr · 09-26-2003, 03:35 PM

the 1st ones were funny,

the numbered ones not so much so.

y'all know what the plural of y'all is?

all y'all.

btw, i grew up in pasadena tx and now live in austin tx after several years in cali.

texas sucks man.

i had a spider bite me the other day.

then i fuckin unloadin 1/2 a can of raid on a fuckin roach and it still took like 15 minutes to die.

fuker chased me around the room

liquidmoe · 09-26-2003, 04:27 PM

That girl is kinda hairy? Or is it just the lighting?

nap · 09-26-2003, 04:32 PM

damn texans

kush2 · 09-26-2003, 04:34 PM

Austin representing!

Tofu · 09-26-2003, 04:54 PM

im suprised why isnt in this thread...

Tanker · 09-26-2003, 05:09 PM

I remember the first weekend I lived in texas it was sunday afternoon at the mall 6:00 PM rolled in and the mall closed there was a traffic jam from the mall to wally world

everyone went from the mall to the wall mart

funny shit at the time it was the largest wall mart in the world it was right at Ft hood the largest military base in the world

funny shit

Jeet yet cause I aint

Tanker

Ketadream · 09-26-2003, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tofu-Adult.com
im suprised why isnt in this thread...

He's canadian...

titmowse · 09-26-2003, 07:12 PM

texas is cool

HEARTBREAKER · 09-26-2003, 09:19 PM

i wish to visit that place when i have the opportunity.

BT · 09-26-2003, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hollywood

You must be smokin something loopy - TX girls are hot!

hit me up on icq 122994792

StacyCat · 09-26-2003, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tofu-Adult.com
You TOTALLY missed the point dude. I LoVe the Fat Girls in TX! Lemmie Illustrate.....

Okay, you have to point out that she got that messy during a "blow job" contest with orange creamcicles :-)

dougeetx · 09-27-2003, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sltr
the 1st ones were funny,

the numbered ones not so much so.

y'all know what the plural of y'all is?

all y'all.

btw, i grew up in pasadena tx and now live in austin tx after several years in cali.

texas sucks man.

i had a spider bite me the other day.

then i fuckin unloadin 1/2 a can of raid on a fuckin roach and it still took like 15 minutes to die.

fuker chased me around the room

lol

baddog · 09-27-2003, 01:17 AM

I married a Texan, so it still kind of scares me.

I will never forget driving thru San Antonio aroud 3 PM in August. It was like 103, and on the radio they were talking about how it was expected to get even hotter that day.

That blew me away, because here, at the beach, it always begins cooling down by that time, it doesn't keep on getting hotter.

09-26-2003, 01:28 AM	#1
dougeetx Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 6,163	Things To Know About TX! Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before. Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck. The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25, then it stops totally until October 2. Onced and twiced are words. Coldbeer is one word. People actually grow and eat okra. Green grass DOES burn. When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. Fix-in-to is one word A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the cows, or swimmin. There ain't no such thing as"lunch". There is only dinner and then there's supper. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?" You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You Know you are from Texas if: 1. You measure distance in minutes. 2. You've ever had to switch for "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks. 4. You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. 5.You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. (note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....) 6 All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable. 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables for your own car. 9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. l0. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup, and Tabasco. 11. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. 12. You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. 13. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football. 14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. 16. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm 17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas. 18. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. 19 Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world". 20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. 21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand of flavor. 22. You understand these jokes. __________________ Coming Soon! A NEW revolution in black adult social networking!

09-26-2003, 01:56 AM	#2
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	God i miss texas lol i lived there all my life tell ike 3 years ago ... the " jeet " thing kiled me so fucking true thinkin bout it __________________ [email protected]

09-26-2003, 03:46 AM	#3
easyjesus Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Ft Worth TX Posts: 291	should I be offended? __________________ Loved By Some, Hated By Most.... <a href="http://www.unclejimsporn.com">http://www.unclejimsporn.com</a> <a href="http://www.cousindirty.com">http://www.cousindirty.com</a> <a href="http://www.drunkspringbreakchics.com">http://www.drunkspringbreakchics.com</a>

09-26-2003, 05:14 AM	#6
vicki Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Deep in the heart o' Texas Posts: 1,478	oh nu-uh! I'll have you know that we're eddycated betternat, heck we were the only ones on that ther cruze ship that thunk well nuff ta pack ar pockit fishermans!! __________________ If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment. HR merchant accounts from 3.45% solid biz since 98 victoriakozub AT gmail.com skype: victoria.kozub \| ICQ: 74296746

09-26-2003, 02:34 PM	#9
Tofu The Video Specialist Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: California Posts: 5,615	Lots of wonderful Fat Girls in Texas. And they taste great too! __________________ tofu916 video services - tofu916.com twitter: tofu916 \| skype: tofu916 \| tel: 916-672-TOFU \| e: tofu # tofu916.com

09-26-2003, 03:50 AM	#4
(¤¤)»»»»»»Þ So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Next door Posts: 237	Pickled Okra kicks ass.

09-26-2003, 03:58 AM	#5
Reak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 420Calendar.com Posts: 17,920	Texas got my love

09-26-2003, 01:44 PM	#7
StacyCat Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 1,167	I so totatlly loved it! though, the spices thing is wrong for me, but i live in austin, so yall can forgive me, right? :-)

09-26-2003, 03:11 PM	#11
Tofu The Video Specialist Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: California Posts: 5,615	You TOTALLY missed the point dude. I LoVe the Fat Girls in TX! Lemmie Illustrate..... __________________ tofu916 video services - tofu916.com twitter: tofu916 \| skype: tofu916 \| tel: 916-672-TOFU \| e: tofu # tofu916.com

09-26-2003, 03:14 PM	#12
phpslave Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose Posts: 548	what about the ranch dressing, that comes with everything? And the fact that i only lived there 4 years, now everywhere i go i'm know as a Texan. Texas Native __________________

09-26-2003, 03:17 PM	#13
arial Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bay Area Posts: 4,012	HAHA 19 is so true we call it "Wally-world" here.

09-26-2003, 03:20 PM	#14
phpslave Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose Posts: 548	you can really tell east texan by the way they talk, if there not from the city. lol.... __________________

09-26-2003, 03:35 PM	#15
sltr Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,191	the 1st ones were funny, the numbered ones not so much so. y'all know what the plural of y'all is? all y'all. btw, i grew up in pasadena tx and now live in austin tx after several years in cali. texas sucks man. i had a spider bite me the other day. then i fuckin unloadin 1/2 a can of raid on a fuckin roach and it still took like 15 minutes to die. fuker chased me around the room

09-26-2003, 04:27 PM	#16
liquidmoe Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: NY Posts: 4,994	That girl is kinda hairy? Or is it just the lighting?

09-26-2003, 04:32 PM	#17
nap Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: midwest Posts: 2,765	damn texans

09-26-2003, 04:34 PM	#18
kush2 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 495	Austin representing!

09-26-2003, 04:54 PM	#19
Tofu The Video Specialist Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: California Posts: 5,615	im suprised why isnt in this thread... __________________ tofu916 video services - tofu916.com twitter: tofu916 \| skype: tofu916 \| tel: 916-672-TOFU \| e: tofu # tofu916.com

09-26-2003, 05:09 PM	#20
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	I remember the first weekend I lived in texas it was sunday afternoon at the mall 6:00 PM rolled in and the mall closed there was a traffic jam from the mall to wally world everyone went from the mall to the wall mart funny shit at the time it was the largest wall mart in the world it was right at Ft hood the largest military base in the world funny shit Jeet yet cause I aint Tanker __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

09-26-2003, 07:12 PM	#22
titmowse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: TEXAS Posts: 5,320	texas is cool __________________ I still love everybody

09-26-2003, 09:19 PM	#23
HEARTBREAKER Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 2,984	i wish to visit that place when i have the opportunity. __________________ An Adult IT Staffing Solutions Company email: [email protected] icq: 418366319 Tel.#: 1-702-940-0789 (U.S. Toll Free)

09-27-2003, 01:17 AM	#27
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	I married a Texan, so it still kind of scares me. I will never forget driving thru San Antonio aroud 3 PM in August. It was like 103, and on the radio they were talking about how it was expected to get even hotter that day. That blew me away, because here, at the beach, it always begins cooling down by that time, it doesn't keep on getting hotter.