Student Suspended Over PHP Usage - GoFuckYourself.com

Stud Money · 09-14-2003, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit

http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

Lane · 09-14-2003, 03:46 PM

is that supposed to be a joke?

asuna · 09-14-2003, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lane
is that supposed to be a joke?

Probably is... not everyone is that stupid

Chris · 09-14-2003, 03:50 PM

LOL i hope this is a joke

dinkz · 09-14-2003, 03:52 PM

if this isn't a joke it prooves that dumb people are everywhere

OFFBEAT · 09-14-2003, 03:58 PM

WELCOME TO 1998

icedemon · 09-14-2003, 04:19 PM

I can't believe you guys/gals asked if it was a joke. Of course it is. Especially when they mentioned this.

Quote:

It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP

Everybody knows that Perl is way more powerful than PHP. I've been taking perl for years. I get high off that stuff all the time.

senseidru · 09-14-2003, 04:52 PM

I got a bag of VB if anyone's interested?

brand0n · 09-14-2003, 04:53 PM

i... gotta.. find a delpi dealer.. fast!

Micah - Drizunk · 09-14-2003, 04:57 PM

i was on some wild php last night, theyre starting to make some crazy versions of it like X, now its comin out in buddas and blue dolphins and shit....

if thats real, which I doubt, someone needs to run into the place with an uzi and eliminate the bottom of the gene pool.

xdcdave · 09-14-2003, 04:59 PM

Lonny · 09-14-2003, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by asuna

Probably is... not everyone is that stupid

you would be surprise

rowan · 09-14-2003, 05:06 PM

Doesn't anyone bother to read the very last line on every bbspot article? It's right at the bottom of the page, in small font. That should answer your question. If you still don't get it, then try browsing a few more of their articles.

09-14-2003, 03:46 PM	#2
Lane Will code for food... Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Buckeye, AZ Posts: 8,496	is that supposed to be a joke? __________________

09-14-2003, 03:50 PM	#4
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	LOL i hope this is a joke __________________ [email protected]

09-14-2003, 03:52 PM	#5
dinkz Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: here Posts: 534	if this isn't a joke it prooves that dumb people are everywhere __________________ ICQ: 267715714

09-14-2003, 04:52 PM	#8
senseidru Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: UKStyle.UKFlow Posts: 1,767	I got a bag of VB if anyone's interested? __________________

09-14-2003, 04:53 PM	#9
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	i... gotta.. find a delpi dealer.. fast! __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

09-14-2003, 03:58 PM	#6
OFFBEAT Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Los Angeles, CA, US Posts: 398	WELCOME TO 1998

09-14-2003, 04:57 PM	#10
Micah - Drizunk Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 759	i was on some wild php last night, theyre starting to make some crazy versions of it like X, now its comin out in buddas and blue dolphins and shit.... if thats real, which I doubt, someone needs to run into the place with an uzi and eliminate the bottom of the gene pool. __________________ Sig was always too big...

09-14-2003, 04:59 PM	#11
xdcdave Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: North East Posts: 1,911	__________________

09-14-2003, 05:06 PM	#13
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Doesn't anyone bother to read the very last line on every bbspot article? It's right at the bottom of the page, in small font. That should answer your question. If you still don't get it, then try browsing a few more of their articles.