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Student Suspended Over PHP Usage

Quote:

Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit

http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

is that supposed to be a joke?

Quote:

Originally posted by Lane
is that supposed to be a joke?

Probably is... not everyone is that stupid

LOL i hope this is a joke

if this isn't a joke it prooves that dumb people are everywhere

I can't believe you guys/gals asked if it was a joke. Of course it is. Especially when they mentioned this.

Quote:

It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP

Everybody knows that Perl is way more powerful than PHP. I've been taking perl for years. I get high off that stuff all the time.

I got a bag of VB if anyone's interested?

i... gotta.. find a delpi dealer.. fast!

i was on some wild php last night, theyre starting to make some crazy versions of it like X, now its comin out in buddas and blue dolphins and shit....

if thats real, which I doubt, someone needs to run into the place with an uzi and eliminate the bottom of the gene pool.:ak47:

Quote:

Originally posted by asuna

Probably is... not everyone is that stupid

you would be surprise

Doesn't anyone bother to read the very last line on every bbspot article? It's right at the bottom of the page, in small font. That should answer your question. If you still don't get it, then try browsing a few more of their articles. :)