True story: I paid a girlfriend for BJ once, then took back money and - GoFuckYourself.com

DarkJedi · 08-28-2003, 01:27 PM

dumped her.

She gave me a few BJs when we first started dating, but then would never do it.

One day I was joking around and said I would give her 10 bucks if she gave me a blowjob.

She startled me by saying she would even though she was always saying "She can't breathe" etc. etc.

So I gave her a ten dollar bill and she sucked my dick damn near off.

Afterwards I got to thinking it was pretty lame for her to be excited about doing it for ten bucks though she did not love me enough to do it otherwise (the selfish whore) so I took the money back and told her I was only roleplaying and what was wrong with her to want to suck dick for money.

aaron · 08-28-2003, 01:28 PM

thats fucked up

aaron · 08-28-2003, 01:28 PM

thats fucked up

goBigtime · 08-28-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi

She startled me by saying she would even though she was always saying "She can't breathe" etc. etc.

If you washed your balls and/or quit trying to slam her head on your dick maybe you'd get more blowjobs

fletcher · 08-28-2003, 01:30 PM

FUCKuPAYme · 08-28-2003, 01:32 PM

DarkJedi · 08-28-2003, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by goBigtime

If you washed your balls and/or quit trying to slam her head on your dick maybe you'd get more blowjobs

yeah, and for 10 bucks it wasn't really a problem, huh ?

GFY.

directfiesta · 08-28-2003, 01:32 PM

In her place, I would of spit out your load in your face!

Joking, since she already had swallowed ...

goBigtime · 08-28-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi

yeah, and for 10 bucks it wasn't a problem, huh ?

GFY.

Hey I don't write the rules.... ask any girl.

Those are probably like the top 2 reasons (in no particular order) they don't like giving their boyfriends head.

For 10 bucks... she was probably willing to deal with it.

Hell... ask HER. Maybe she'll tell ya.

TheFLY · 08-28-2003, 01:36 PM

Damn I always have to pay at least $50.

ronaldo · 08-28-2003, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi
so I took the money back and told her I was only roleplaying and what was wrong with her to want to suck dick for money.

Fucking near choked reading this line

Herb Kornfield · 08-28-2003, 01:41 PM

She does it for $1.00 here.....

TheFLY · 08-28-2003, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by goBigtime

If you washed your balls and/or quit trying to slam her head on your dick maybe you'd get more blowjobs

Speaking from experience?

TheFLY · 08-28-2003, 01:44 PM

Damn why you disrespect your woman with $10!

Oracle Porn · 08-28-2003, 01:48 PM

I got $20 bill right here
bring her over

MarkTiarra · 08-28-2003, 01:50 PM

Maybe she had a hoe fantasy to live out?

goBigtime · 08-28-2003, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheFLY

Speaking from experience?

Nah I treat the ho's with respekt.

I've had a few girl friends that weren't 'girlfriends' over the years... either they were ex/gf's of good friends or people I grew up with, whatever the reason... they are just friends.

But occassionally you can extract bits of useful and insiteful information from their world

You should know that though Fly.. you sometimes share knowledge that could only have originated from the females.

media · 08-28-2003, 01:52 PM

Thats a fucked up story.. I woulda at least tried to get her to done anal for another $50 before you said that shit and broke up..

Media

Doctor Dre · 08-28-2003, 01:55 PM

At least u had the balls to take the money back :P

DarkJedi · 08-28-2003, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn

I got $20 bill right here
bring her over

I dumped her !!
Want her number ?

markell · 08-28-2003, 02:13 PM

shes a super freak!

escorpio · 08-28-2003, 02:19 PM

What a money grubbing bitch! Good thing you dumped her, she would have made a terrible ex-wife.

the Shemp · 08-28-2003, 02:23 PM

ive got some lower gallery spots available

EZRhino · 08-28-2003, 02:42 PM

Great one, you should make a hall mark card out of it.
Front cover:
Happy birthday!
Here's $10
I'll give you $20 if you suck my dick.
page 2
(Second $10 bill in sleave attached to a hidden string)
(Behind the $10, when she lifts it out of the sleave you pull the bill out of her hand)
It says "You whore, you know you shouldnt taking money for sex"
I guess you have to be in my head to laugh at this one.

HEARTBREAKER · 08-28-2003, 05:42 PM

you're mean!!!!!

AaronM · 08-28-2003, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MarkTiarra
Maybe she had a hoe fantasy to live out?

Or maybe he did.

Ah....The stories I could tell.

Plan9 · 08-28-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by goBigtime

For 10 bucks... she was probably willing to deal with it.

...or maybe she was just a closet-case

whore. I like my theory better!

the Grandad · 08-28-2003, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi

I dumped her !!
Want her number ?

Yes I do, does she want a sugar daddy?

AaronM · 08-28-2003, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Plan9

...or maybe she was just a closet-case whore. I like my theory better!

Also a very possible explanation.

AaronM · 08-28-2003, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Grandad

Yes I do, does she want a sugar daddy?

They ALL want a sugar daddy. A lot of them simply can not openly admit it.

High Quality · 08-28-2003, 06:12 PM

Oracle Porn · 08-28-2003, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi

I dumped her !!
Want her number ?

YA!

08-28-2003, 06:34 PM

Since everyone is sharing stories about past fucks, I thought I'd share this one.

This bitch had really gotten on my nerves over the years. Constant criticism and goading of my wife behind my back had cost me more arguments than I care to admit. She's my fucking sister-in-law. My wife's little sister.

It's Friday evening and I see her car in my driveway. The old lady has the dinner on the table like she should, her sister just a bitching about my overbearing ways. The subject gets changed when she notices I'm in the same room. I just wash up and mind my own business, don't say a thing to her. "What crawled up his ass?" I can hear her say to the old lady.

All through my cube steak and beans, I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck, she is totally disgusted with me. The big evil man who keeps his foot on the neck of every woman alive. She knew of my philandering and she just bit her tongue. She cared for her sister, who despite public opinion was a very happy woman. I'm sitting, watching T.V. and that twat is just a blabbing about her date with Rex tonight at the Backside Lounge. I can hear her mumble that if I wasn't such a prick we could double date. I just happily ignore her and catch a rerun of All in the Family.

I go to the fridge to get a beer when the wife interrupts me. "Did you hear honey? Rex and her are going out to the Backside Lounge for dinner."

"Good, maybe if he knocks the rust off of her bucket, she'll straighten out and be useful." I considered it good advice, fuck her if she don't like my philosophy!

I can hear her slamming her purse and walking out in a huff. While pissing out that beer I just drank, I listen to her cuss me like a rented mule outside in the driveway. She drives off while the old lady is left there with a look of disgust that is headed this way. "Dick, you always pick a fight with her when she comes over, can't you be considerate once while she's here?"

"Why shit no, the bitch rides my ass, talks shit to my face in whispers. She can go fuck herself!"

The dishes are being inserted in the washer at a forceful rate as I go to my place of solice in the garage. I cruise through the fuckbooks and listen to the game on the radio. I have about three beers and this wonderful notion goes through my mind. Why don't I go get shitfaced at Mayford's bar?

So an hour later I'm drinking at Mayford's, the beer is flowing nicely now, the band sucks ass as usual. But my ever glowing sanctity has just been violated as I see that damn sister-in-law dragging Rex behind her in tow. We make eye contact that brings out this wretched scowl on her face, that I could swear made the beer I was drinking go into a full foam and run all over the damn bar. I glanced back over and noticed something I never seen before, I was checking out my sister-in-law's ass and it looked damn good. I was counting backward the beers I drank trying to justify this odd conclusion but it was true. "Damn, where in the hell have you been hiding all these years?"

I get fixated on this and my mind goes into a flashback, trying to recall every wardrobe this woman has worn on Thanksgiving and every other damned holiday in my past. I was in a timewarp of complex surroundings all because of some girl's turdcutter.

I can hear the sister-in-law shouting very loudly. From what I was gathering, ol Rex had his arms around the barmaid between trips to the shitter. You could hardly blame him, his date didn't have much promise. I would have done the same thing too but a hell of lot smoother. She's giving him the same ration of shit I hear weekly when she visits the old lady. Rex's face is full flush and he's letting that bitch have it. I see him grab a finger she's waving in his face, the pain is in her eyes as he twists it around.

I crossed over quickly and did what every redneck in this world has done on several occasions in his life. I knocked Rex on his ass and asked questions later. When you got a man down in a bar, you have about ten seconds after the first punch to get another few licks in before they run you out the door. If your the one down, you never get the time to redeem yourself, it truly sucks to be there.

"Out you go Dick!" If I had a dollar for everytime I heard it. You go through the motions, tell the bartender off, threaten to fuck the bouncer's mother, grope the barmaid, good ol fun at the pub. I walk off in a huff to my car, the ruse is over and I screw in a Marlboro Menthol. I can hear the heels clicking on the asphalt as the damn sister-in-law is yelling. "Don't leave me here, I need a ride home."

I drive her home and she is in full blown bitch mode. How all these men take advantage of her and never take her seriously. There isn't a damn good one around here in this world. Motherfucker this and motherfucker that. They ruin the whole damn world. Finally I just get tired of it.

It doesn't help matters and we are at each others' throat all the way to her apartment. I let her out and walk her to the door. "Listen Dick, I'm sorry I shouldn't cuss you so. I'll make you a coffee."

"I was thinking, you look much better than that damn barmaid back there, if Rex could have kept his pecker in line he might be using your ankles as earmuffs now."

"There you go again, so degrading, your just like him only worse. You don't put up a front like he did, your just an asshole in the flesh!" She flicks on the T.V. and sits down, mouth still going. "My sister is so naive, sometimes I wish she would find out about you, even at the cost of her heart. You shit on her so much!"

"What's it to you bitch? You're alone, no man would have you. If anything is a shame, it's your strict rules on character, this pipedream you hold for the perfect man."

"Listen to you, you're so empty Dick, you can't even say no to a piece of ass!" She laughs and that is what sets me off. I feel like Rex did at the bar, this rage inside of me wanting to grab this hahahaha and slap the piss out of her. I never expect her to do what she does next.

She just reaches out and rubs my cock, the friction of the denim has me erect in no time. "So have you proved your point?" I ask her. She just unzips my pants and lowers them, begins sucking my cock while rubbing my balls. I lean her back and take off her pants, her pussy is shaven and whatever thoughts I had of stopping this debacle, just ended when I see those pink lips. I start licking her twat until I can hear her talking shit. "She always bragged about how good you were at this." I begin sticking fingers inside, flipping the keys as I call it. Putting in one finger, pulling out and putting a different one in. I put in two, putting a slight bend in one, going in and out, hitting angles while licking her clit at the same time. It wasn't long till I made her cum. She had her juices running down the crack of her ass, I stick my tongue in there and she has a look of surprise on her face.

She trying to categorize this morally but she doesn't have any intentions of this stopping soon. I rise up and pull her legs up in the air, begin fucking her like the bitch I hate so much. Slamming it home while holding her knees together, I consider this revenge for all the bitching and the sticking of her nose in my marriage. I slow down to catch my breath and that's when she pulls my arm and my body follows. She pulls me in close and I begin fucking her missionary on this putrid colored couch of hers. Slowly and passionate like I used to do with the old lady. I looked in her eyes and I felt drawn into her. The rythym of our bodies synched strangely and it compelled me to begin caressing her all over. I seen places of beauty on her I wouldn't have hit with a ten foot poll yesterday. I can feel her tightening her vaginal muscles around my cock, a random thought of seduction wisps through my mind. I see her lips open up and I kiss her as I cum inside her. That passion that drawn me in with such force turned quickly cold and fear gripped her like a domestic animal thrown in the wild. She pushed me aside and locked herself in her room.

Driving home I wonder if this is the day my life goes to pure shit. "Boy Dick, your old cock may have guaranteed you a noose." I thought as I pull into the driveway. I shower off and guilt for once has it's grip firm on my cods. I go to bed and the old lady is rubbing me, trying to give me hints into giving her the gutwrench. I roll over and bury my head under the pillow.

I hear the old lady chatting up a storm. I get up and see what is the matter and I can see Paige, the sister-in-law just a talking. She is sipping coffee and bragging to the old lady on how I saved her at Mayfords. My ass is drawn up in a knot as I walk awkwardly to the coffeepot. "Oh, let me pour you a cup." Paige says, fucking my head up even more. I just sit there and sip my coffee in silence while watching cartoons. Bluto is beating the shit out of Popeye and I can't even fucking manufacture a damn smile. The old lady runs off to the laundry room to put a load in the dryer. Paige walks in and makes eye contact with me. I just look down like a stupid kid who just got caught by the teacher masterbating in class. "How did you sleep last night Dick?"

"Terrible" I answered. "Just what is it you want from me, Paige?"

"I slept like a baby." she replies. Walks back in the kitchen to grab her purse. She yells at the old lady. "I got to go sis, I'll call you later tonight." She walks by me brushing the top of my head with her hand. It's about as disturbing as her usual complaining but much sharper. She smirks to me as she exits my door.

I look at her ass on the way out.

Damn it looks so sweet!

Oracle Porn · 08-28-2003, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by evildick
Since everyone is sharing stories about past fucks, I thought I'd share this one.

This bitch had really gotten on my nerves over the years. Constant criticism and goading of my wife behind my back had cost me more arguments than I care to admit. She's my fucking sister-in-law. My wife's little sister.

It's Friday evening and I see her car in my driveway. The old lady has the dinner on the table like she should, her sister just a bitching about my overbearing ways. The subject gets changed when she notices I'm in the same room. I just wash up and mind my own business, don't say a thing to her. "What crawled up his ass?" I can hear her say to the old lady.

All through my cube steak and beans, I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck, she is totally disgusted with me. The big evil man who keeps his foot on the neck of every woman alive. She knew of my philandering and she just bit her tongue. She cared for her sister, who despite public opinion was a very happy woman. I'm sitting, watching T.V. and that twat is just a blabbing about her date with Rex tonight at the Backside Lounge. I can hear her mumble that if I wasn't such a prick we could double date. I just happily ignore her and catch a rerun of All in the Family.

I go to the fridge to get a beer when the wife interrupts me. "Did you hear honey? Rex and her are going out to the Backside Lounge for dinner."

"Good, maybe if he knocks the rust off of her bucket, she'll straighten out and be useful." I considered it good advice, fuck her if she don't like my philosophy!

I can hear her slamming her purse and walking out in a huff. While pissing out that beer I just drank, I listen to her cuss me like a rented mule outside in the driveway. She drives off while the old lady is left there with a look of disgust that is headed this way. "Dick, you always pick a fight with her when she comes over, can't you be considerate once while she's here?"

"Why shit no, the bitch rides my ass, talks shit to my face in whispers. She can go fuck herself!"

The dishes are being inserted in the washer at a forceful rate as I go to my place of solice in the garage. I cruise through the fuckbooks and listen to the game on the radio. I have about three beers and this wonderful notion goes through my mind. Why don't I go get shitfaced at Mayford's bar?

So an hour later I'm drinking at Mayford's, the beer is flowing nicely now, the band sucks ass as usual. But my ever glowing sanctity has just been violated as I see that damn sister-in-law dragging Rex behind her in tow. We make eye contact that brings out this wretched scowl on her face, that I could swear made the beer I was drinking go into a full foam and run all over the damn bar. I glanced back over and noticed something I never seen before, I was checking out my sister-in-law's ass and it looked damn good. I was counting backward the beers I drank trying to justify this odd conclusion but it was true. "Damn, where in the hell have you been hiding all these years?"

I get fixated on this and my mind goes into a flashback, trying to recall every wardrobe this woman has worn on Thanksgiving and every other damned holiday in my past. I was in a timewarp of complex surroundings all because of some girl's turdcutter.

I can hear the sister-in-law shouting very loudly. From what I was gathering, ol Rex had his arms around the barmaid between trips to the shitter. You could hardly blame him, his date didn't have much promise. I would have done the same thing too but a hell of lot smoother. She's giving him the same ration of shit I hear weekly when she visits the old lady. Rex's face is full flush and he's letting that bitch have it. I see him grab a finger she's waving in his face, the pain is in her eyes as he twists it around.

I crossed over quickly and did what every redneck in this world has done on several occasions in his life. I knocked Rex on his ass and asked questions later. When you got a man down in a bar, you have about ten seconds after the first punch to get another few licks in before they run you out the door. If your the one down, you never get the time to redeem yourself, it truly sucks to be there.

"Out you go Dick!" If I had a dollar for everytime I heard it. You go through the motions, tell the bartender off, threaten to fuck the bouncer's mother, grope the barmaid, good ol fun at the pub. I walk off in a huff to my car, the ruse is over and I screw in a Marlboro Menthol. I can hear the heels clicking on the asphalt as the damn sister-in-law is yelling. "Don't leave me here, I need a ride home."

I drive her home and she is in full blown bitch mode. How all these men take advantage of her and never take her seriously. There isn't a damn good one around here in this world. Motherfucker this and motherfucker that. They ruin the whole damn world. Finally I just get tired of it.

It doesn't help matters and we are at each others' throat all the way to her apartment. I let her out and walk her to the door. "Listen Dick, I'm sorry I shouldn't cuss you so. I'll make you a coffee."

"I was thinking, you look much better than that damn barmaid back there, if Rex could have kept his pecker in line he might be using your ankles as earmuffs now."

"There you go again, so degrading, your just like him only worse. You don't put up a front like he did, your just an asshole in the flesh!" She flicks on the T.V. and sits down, mouth still going. "My sister is so naive, sometimes I wish she would find out about you, even at the cost of her heart. You shit on her so much!"

"What's it to you bitch? You're alone, no man would have you. If anything is a shame, it's your strict rules on character, this pipedream you hold for the perfect man."

"Listen to you, you're so empty Dick, you can't even say no to a piece of ass!" She laughs and that is what sets me off. I feel like Rex did at the bar, this rage inside of me wanting to grab this hahahaha and slap the piss out of her. I never expect her to do what she does next.

She just reaches out and rubs my cock, the friction of the denim has me erect in no time. "So have you proved your point?" I ask her. She just unzips my pants and lowers them, begins sucking my cock while rubbing my balls. I lean her back and take off her pants, her pussy is shaven and whatever thoughts I had of stopping this debacle, just ended when I see those pink lips. I start licking her twat until I can hear her talking shit. "She always bragged about how good you were at this." I begin sticking fingers inside, flipping the keys as I call it. Putting in one finger, pulling out and putting a different one in. I put in two, putting a slight bend in one, going in and out, hitting angles while licking her clit at the same time. It wasn't long till I made her cum. She had her juices running down the crack of her ass, I stick my tongue in there and she has a look of surprise on her face.

She trying to categorize this morally but she doesn't have any intentions of this stopping soon. I rise up and pull her legs up in the air, begin fucking her like the bitch I hate so much. Slamming it home while holding her knees together, I consider this revenge for all the bitching and the sticking of her nose in my marriage. I slow down to catch my breath and that's when she pulls my arm and my body follows. She pulls me in close and I begin fucking her missionary on this putrid colored couch of hers. Slowly and passionate like I used to do with the old lady. I looked in her eyes and I felt drawn into her. The rythym of our bodies synched strangely and it compelled me to begin caressing her all over. I seen places of beauty on her I wouldn't have hit with a ten foot poll yesterday. I can feel her tightening her vaginal muscles around my cock, a random thought of seduction wisps through my mind. I see her lips open up and I kiss her as I cum inside her. That passion that drawn me in with such force turned quickly cold and fear gripped her like a domestic animal thrown in the wild. She pushed me aside and locked herself in her room.

Driving home I wonder if this is the day my life goes to pure shit. "Boy Dick, your old cock may have guaranteed you a noose." I thought as I pull into the driveway. I shower off and guilt for once has it's grip firm on my cods. I go to bed and the old lady is rubbing me, trying to give me hints into giving her the gutwrench. I roll over and bury my head under the pillow.

I hear the old lady chatting up a storm. I get up and see what is the matter and I can see Paige, the sister-in-law just a talking. She is sipping coffee and bragging to the old lady on how I saved her at Mayfords. My ass is drawn up in a knot as I walk awkwardly to the coffeepot. "Oh, let me pour you a cup." Paige says, fucking my head up even more. I just sit there and sip my coffee in silence while watching cartoons. Bluto is beating the shit out of Popeye and I can't even fucking manufacture a damn smile. The old lady runs off to the laundry room to put a load in the dryer. Paige walks in and makes eye contact with me. I just look down like a stupid kid who just got caught by the teacher masterbating in class. "How did you sleep last night Dick?"

"Terrible" I answered. "Just what is it you want from me, Paige?"

"I slept like a baby." she replies. Walks back in the kitchen to grab her purse. She yells at the old lady. "I got to go sis, I'll call you later tonight." She walks by me brushing the top of my head with her hand. It's about as disturbing as her usual complaining but much sharper. She smirks to me as she exits my door.

I look at her ass on the way out.

Damn it looks so sweet!

DAMN!
1st...I got a boner :D
2nd...what happened next?!?!?!

beemk · 08-28-2003, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Plan9

...or maybe she was just a closet-case whore. I like my theory better!

they all are...

beemk · 08-28-2003, 07:55 PM

haha was that the only time u fucked her? did she ever tell on you? that goes to prove girls always want the guy they cant have.

MetaMan · 08-28-2003, 08:02 PM

taking rock money from a crackhoe is just wrong!

VanHeusen · 08-28-2003, 08:10 PM

funny stuff

Feivel · 08-28-2003, 08:21 PM

post a pic of her

Indeed · 08-28-2003, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn

DAMN!
1st...I got a boner :D
2nd...what happened next?!?!?!

seems like a sex story he copied from some site hehe

gornyhuy · 08-28-2003, 08:38 PM

evildick, I can't believe I read that whole goddamn story! Nice.

Got any more?

Chris · 08-28-2003, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by evildick
Since everyone is sharing stories about past fucks, I thought I'd share this one.

This bitch had really gotten on my nerves over the years. Constant criticism and goading of my wife behind my back had cost me more arguments than I care to admit. She's my fucking sister-in-law. My wife's little sister.

It's Friday evening and I see her car in my driveway. The old lady has the dinner on the table like she should, her sister just a bitching about my overbearing ways. The subject gets changed when she notices I'm in the same room. I just wash up and mind my own business, don't say a thing to her. "What crawled up his ass?" I can hear her say to the old lady.

All through my cube steak and beans, I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck, she is totally disgusted with me. The big evil man who keeps his foot on the neck of every woman alive. She knew of my philandering and she just bit her tongue. She cared for her sister, who despite public opinion was a very happy woman. I'm sitting, watching T.V. and that twat is just a blabbing about her date with Rex tonight at the Backside Lounge. I can hear her mumble that if I wasn't such a prick we could double date. I just happily ignore her and catch a rerun of All in the Family.

I go to the fridge to get a beer when the wife interrupts me. "Did you hear honey? Rex and her are going out to the Backside Lounge for dinner."

"Good, maybe if he knocks the rust off of her bucket, she'll straighten out and be useful." I considered it good advice, fuck her if she don't like my philosophy!

I can hear her slamming her purse and walking out in a huff. While pissing out that beer I just drank, I listen to her cuss me like a rented mule outside in the driveway. She drives off while the old lady is left there with a look of disgust that is headed this way. "Dick, you always pick a fight with her when she comes over, can't you be considerate once while she's here?"

"Why shit no, the bitch rides my ass, talks shit to my face in whispers. She can go fuck herself!"

The dishes are being inserted in the washer at a forceful rate as I go to my place of solice in the garage. I cruise through the fuckbooks and listen to the game on the radio. I have about three beers and this wonderful notion goes through my mind. Why don't I go get shitfaced at Mayford's bar?

So an hour later I'm drinking at Mayford's, the beer is flowing nicely now, the band sucks ass as usual. But my ever glowing sanctity has just been violated as I see that damn sister-in-law dragging Rex behind her in tow. We make eye contact that brings out this wretched scowl on her face, that I could swear made the beer I was drinking go into a full foam and run all over the damn bar. I glanced back over and noticed something I never seen before, I was checking out my sister-in-law's ass and it looked damn good. I was counting backward the beers I drank trying to justify this odd conclusion but it was true. "Damn, where in the hell have you been hiding all these years?"

I get fixated on this and my mind goes into a flashback, trying to recall every wardrobe this woman has worn on Thanksgiving and every other damned holiday in my past. I was in a timewarp of complex surroundings all because of some girl's turdcutter.

I can hear the sister-in-law shouting very loudly. From what I was gathering, ol Rex had his arms around the barmaid between trips to the shitter. You could hardly blame him, his date didn't have much promise. I would have done the same thing too but a hell of lot smoother. She's giving him the same ration of shit I hear weekly when she visits the old lady. Rex's face is full flush and he's letting that bitch have it. I see him grab a finger she's waving in his face, the pain is in her eyes as he twists it around.

I crossed over quickly and did what every redneck in this world has done on several occasions in his life. I knocked Rex on his ass and asked questions later. When you got a man down in a bar, you have about ten seconds after the first punch to get another few licks in before they run you out the door. If your the one down, you never get the time to redeem yourself, it truly sucks to be there.

"Out you go Dick!" If I had a dollar for everytime I heard it. You go through the motions, tell the bartender off, threaten to fuck the bouncer's mother, grope the barmaid, good ol fun at the pub. I walk off in a huff to my car, the ruse is over and I screw in a Marlboro Menthol. I can hear the heels clicking on the asphalt as the damn sister-in-law is yelling. "Don't leave me here, I need a ride home."

I drive her home and she is in full blown bitch mode. How all these men take advantage of her and never take her seriously. There isn't a damn good one around here in this world. Motherfucker this and motherfucker that. They ruin the whole damn world. Finally I just get tired of it.

It doesn't help matters and we are at each others' throat all the way to her apartment. I let her out and walk her to the door. "Listen Dick, I'm sorry I shouldn't cuss you so. I'll make you a coffee."

"I was thinking, you look much better than that damn barmaid back there, if Rex could have kept his pecker in line he might be using your ankles as earmuffs now."

"There you go again, so degrading, your just like him only worse. You don't put up a front like he did, your just an asshole in the flesh!" She flicks on the T.V. and sits down, mouth still going. "My sister is so naive, sometimes I wish she would find out about you, even at the cost of her heart. You shit on her so much!"

"What's it to you bitch? You're alone, no man would have you. If anything is a shame, it's your strict rules on character, this pipedream you hold for the perfect man."

"Listen to you, you're so empty Dick, you can't even say no to a piece of ass!" She laughs and that is what sets me off. I feel like Rex did at the bar, this rage inside of me wanting to grab this hahahaha and slap the piss out of her. I never expect her to do what she does next.

She just reaches out and rubs my cock, the friction of the denim has me erect in no time. "So have you proved your point?" I ask her. She just unzips my pants and lowers them, begins sucking my cock while rubbing my balls. I lean her back and take off her pants, her pussy is shaven and whatever thoughts I had of stopping this debacle, just ended when I see those pink lips. I start licking her twat until I can hear her talking shit. "She always bragged about how good you were at this." I begin sticking fingers inside, flipping the keys as I call it. Putting in one finger, pulling out and putting a different one in. I put in two, putting a slight bend in one, going in and out, hitting angles while licking her clit at the same time. It wasn't long till I made her cum. She had her juices running down the crack of her ass, I stick my tongue in there and she has a look of surprise on her face.

She trying to categorize this morally but she doesn't have any intentions of this stopping soon. I rise up and pull her legs up in the air, begin fucking her like the bitch I hate so much. Slamming it home while holding her knees together, I consider this revenge for all the bitching and the sticking of her nose in my marriage. I slow down to catch my breath and that's when she pulls my arm and my body follows. She pulls me in close and I begin fucking her missionary on this putrid colored couch of hers. Slowly and passionate like I used to do with the old lady. I looked in her eyes and I felt drawn into her. The rythym of our bodies synched strangely and it compelled me to begin caressing her all over. I seen places of beauty on her I wouldn't have hit with a ten foot poll yesterday. I can feel her tightening her vaginal muscles around my cock, a random thought of seduction wisps through my mind. I see her lips open up and I kiss her as I cum inside her. That passion that drawn me in with such force turned quickly cold and fear gripped her like a domestic animal thrown in the wild. She pushed me aside and locked herself in her room.

Driving home I wonder if this is the day my life goes to pure shit. "Boy Dick, your old cock may have guaranteed you a noose." I thought as I pull into the driveway. I shower off and guilt for once has it's grip firm on my cods. I go to bed and the old lady is rubbing me, trying to give me hints into giving her the gutwrench. I roll over and bury my head under the pillow.

I hear the old lady chatting up a storm. I get up and see what is the matter and I can see Paige, the sister-in-law just a talking. She is sipping coffee and bragging to the old lady on how I saved her at Mayfords. My ass is drawn up in a knot as I walk awkwardly to the coffeepot. "Oh, let me pour you a cup." Paige says, fucking my head up even more. I just sit there and sip my coffee in silence while watching cartoons. Bluto is beating the shit out of Popeye and I can't even fucking manufacture a damn smile. The old lady runs off to the laundry room to put a load in the dryer. Paige walks in and makes eye contact with me. I just look down like a stupid kid who just got caught by the teacher masterbating in class. "How did you sleep last night Dick?"

"Terrible" I answered. "Just what is it you want from me, Paige?"

"I slept like a baby." she replies. Walks back in the kitchen to grab her purse. She yells at the old lady. "I got to go sis, I'll call you later tonight." She walks by me brushing the top of my head with her hand. It's about as disturbing as her usual complaining but much sharper. She smirks to me as she exits my door.

I look at her ass on the way out.

Damn it looks so sweet!

i just beat my meat to that story ... =D did she ever find out ?

DarkJedi · 10-20-2003, 02:26 PM

evildick, that was excellent

Jer · 10-20-2003, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gornyhuy
evildick, I can't believe I read that whole goddamn story! Nice.

Got any more?

Same here

JDog · 10-20-2003, 04:21 PM

Hey, that was a contract, you can't take the money back!

jDoG

hyatla · 10-20-2003, 04:24 PM

I thought you are going to talk about our governator. I heard he once fucked a whore, then when she asked for her money, he said, 'you should pay me'.

I heard this from npr.

Buff · 10-20-2003, 04:26 PM

True story:

I lost my virginity to a girl over the summer, but she lives in Niagra Falls, so you'll never be able to verify it.

BuggyG · 10-20-2003, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi
dumped her.

She gave me a few BJs when we first started dating, but then would never do it.

One day I was joking around and said I would give her 10 bucks if she gave me a blowjob.

She startled me by saying she would even though she was always saying "She can't breathe" etc. etc.

So I gave her a ten dollar bill and she sucked my dick damn near off.

Afterwards I got to thinking it was pretty lame for her to be excited about doing it for ten bucks though she did not love me enough to do it otherwise (the selfish whore) so I took the money back and told her I was only roleplaying and what was wrong with her to want to suck dick for money.

I fucked her after!! She was crying about losing the 10$

Pad · 10-20-2003, 04:45 PM

that's very funny

just last night she paid me 10 dollars to let her suck my dick!

DarkJedi · 06-20-2004, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by media
Thats a fucked up story.. I woulda at least tried to get her to done anal for another $50 before you said that shit and broke up..

Media

yeah, i think you're right

08-28-2003, 01:27 PM	#1
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	True story: I paid a girlfriend for BJ once, then took back money and dumped her. She gave me a few BJs when we first started dating, but then would never do it. One day I was joking around and said I would give her 10 bucks if she gave me a blowjob. She startled me by saying she would even though she was always saying "She can't breathe" etc. etc. So I gave her a ten dollar bill and she sucked my dick damn near off. Afterwards I got to thinking it was pretty lame for her to be excited about doing it for ten bucks though she did not love me enough to do it otherwise (the selfish whore) so I took the money back and told her I was only roleplaying and what was wrong with her to want to suck dick for money.

08-28-2003, 01:30 PM	#5
fletcher Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 698	__________________   [email protected] ICQ: 6411138

08-28-2003, 01:32 PM	#6
FUCKuPAYme Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: LA Posts: 1,023	__________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-28-2003, 01:32 PM	#8
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,674	In her place, I would of spit out your load in your face! Joking, since she already had swallowed ... __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

08-28-2003, 01:48 PM	#15
Oracle Porn Affiliate Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Icq: 94-399-723 Posts: 24,433	I got $20 bill right here bring her over __________________

08-28-2003, 01:28 PM	#2
aaron Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: USA Posts: 4,452	thats fucked up

08-28-2003, 01:36 PM	#10
TheFLY So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: http://www.thefly.net/ --- Quit your job and live off steady traffic. Posts: 11,856	Damn I always have to pay at least $50.

08-28-2003, 01:41 PM	#12
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	She does it for $1.00 here.....

08-28-2003, 01:44 PM	#14
TheFLY So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: http://www.thefly.net/ --- Quit your job and live off steady traffic. Posts: 11,856	Damn why you disrespect your woman with $10!

08-28-2003, 01:50 PM	#16
MarkTiarra Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: NJ Posts: 3,833	Maybe she had a hoe fantasy to live out? __________________ Retired Pornosticator

08-28-2003, 01:52 PM	#18
media Confirmed Moneymaker Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Eugene, OR It's Like Jail, Only with Trees! Posts: 9,852	Thats a fucked up story.. I woulda at least tried to get her to done anal for another $50 before you said that shit and broke up.. Media __________________ I'm here for the violence!

08-28-2003, 01:55 PM	#19
Doctor Dre Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 51,692	At least u had the balls to take the money back :P

08-28-2003, 02:13 PM	#21
markell Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Las Vegas & Los Angeles Posts: 1,190	shes a super freak! __________________ blah blah fucking blah

08-28-2003, 02:19 PM	#22
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,119	What a money grubbing bitch! Good thing you dumped her, she would have made a terrible ex-wife. __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

08-28-2003, 02:23 PM	#23
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	ive got some lower gallery spots available __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

08-28-2003, 02:42 PM	#24
EZRhino Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: couch Posts: 6,258	Great one, you should make a hall mark card out of it. Front cover: Happy birthday! Here's $10 I'll give you $20 if you suck my dick. page 2 (Second $10 bill in sleave attached to a hidden string) (Behind the $10, when she lifts it out of the sleave you pull the bill out of her hand) It says "You whore, you know you shouldnt taking money for sex" I guess you have to be in my head to laugh at this one.

08-28-2003, 05:42 PM	#25
HEARTBREAKER Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 2,984	you're mean!!!!! __________________ An Adult IT Staffing Solutions Company email: [email protected] icq: 418366319 Tel.#: 1-702-940-0789 (U.S. Toll Free)

08-28-2003, 06:12 PM	#31
High Quality Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Vegas Posts: 5,741	SPAM __________________ RecurCash.com - Averaging $38/sale with 60% revshare in the first 4 months alone! Convert your TEEN traffic today @ better than 1:500 guaranteed. ICQ me: 18287590!

08-28-2003, 06:34 PM	#33
evildick Guest Posts: n/a	Since everyone is sharing stories about past fucks, I thought I'd share this one. This bitch had really gotten on my nerves over the years. Constant criticism and goading of my wife behind my back had cost me more arguments than I care to admit. She's my fucking sister-in-law. My wife's little sister. It's Friday evening and I see her car in my driveway. The old lady has the dinner on the table like she should, her sister just a bitching about my overbearing ways. The subject gets changed when she notices I'm in the same room. I just wash up and mind my own business, don't say a thing to her. "What crawled up his ass?" I can hear her say to the old lady. All through my cube steak and beans, I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck, she is totally disgusted with me. The big evil man who keeps his foot on the neck of every woman alive. She knew of my philandering and she just bit her tongue. She cared for her sister, who despite public opinion was a very happy woman. I'm sitting, watching T.V. and that twat is just a blabbing about her date with Rex tonight at the Backside Lounge. I can hear her mumble that if I wasn't such a prick we could double date. I just happily ignore her and catch a rerun of All in the Family. I go to the fridge to get a beer when the wife interrupts me. "Did you hear honey? Rex and her are going out to the Backside Lounge for dinner." "Good, maybe if he knocks the rust off of her bucket, she'll straighten out and be useful." I considered it good advice, fuck her if she don't like my philosophy! I can hear her slamming her purse and walking out in a huff. While pissing out that beer I just drank, I listen to her cuss me like a rented mule outside in the driveway. She drives off while the old lady is left there with a look of disgust that is headed this way. "Dick, you always pick a fight with her when she comes over, can't you be considerate once while she's here?" "Why shit no, the bitch rides my ass, talks shit to my face in whispers. She can go fuck herself!" The dishes are being inserted in the washer at a forceful rate as I go to my place of solice in the garage. I cruise through the fuckbooks and listen to the game on the radio. I have about three beers and this wonderful notion goes through my mind. Why don't I go get shitfaced at Mayford's bar? So an hour later I'm drinking at Mayford's, the beer is flowing nicely now, the band sucks ass as usual. But my ever glowing sanctity has just been violated as I see that damn sister-in-law dragging Rex behind her in tow. We make eye contact that brings out this wretched scowl on her face, that I could swear made the beer I was drinking go into a full foam and run all over the damn bar. I glanced back over and noticed something I never seen before, I was checking out my sister-in-law's ass and it looked damn good. I was counting backward the beers I drank trying to justify this odd conclusion but it was true. "Damn, where in the hell have you been hiding all these years?" I get fixated on this and my mind goes into a flashback, trying to recall every wardrobe this woman has worn on Thanksgiving and every other damned holiday in my past. I was in a timewarp of complex surroundings all because of some girl's turdcutter. I can hear the sister-in-law shouting very loudly. From what I was gathering, ol Rex had his arms around the barmaid between trips to the shitter. You could hardly blame him, his date didn't have much promise. I would have done the same thing too but a hell of lot smoother. She's giving him the same ration of shit I hear weekly when she visits the old lady. Rex's face is full flush and he's letting that bitch have it. I see him grab a finger she's waving in his face, the pain is in her eyes as he twists it around. I crossed over quickly and did what every redneck in this world has done on several occasions in his life. I knocked Rex on his ass and asked questions later. When you got a man down in a bar, you have about ten seconds after the first punch to get another few licks in before they run you out the door. If your the one down, you never get the time to redeem yourself, it truly sucks to be there. "Out you go Dick!" If I had a dollar for everytime I heard it. You go through the motions, tell the bartender off, threaten to fuck the bouncer's mother, grope the barmaid, good ol fun at the pub. I walk off in a huff to my car, the ruse is over and I screw in a Marlboro Menthol. I can hear the heels clicking on the asphalt as the damn sister-in-law is yelling. "Don't leave me here, I need a ride home." I drive her home and she is in full blown bitch mode. How all these men take advantage of her and never take her seriously. There isn't a damn good one around here in this world. Motherfucker this and motherfucker that. They ruin the whole damn world. Finally I just get tired of it. It doesn't help matters and we are at each others' throat all the way to her apartment. I let her out and walk her to the door. "Listen Dick, I'm sorry I shouldn't cuss you so. I'll make you a coffee." "I was thinking, you look much better than that damn barmaid back there, if Rex could have kept his pecker in line he might be using your ankles as earmuffs now." "There you go again, so degrading, your just like him only worse. You don't put up a front like he did, your just an asshole in the flesh!" She flicks on the T.V. and sits down, mouth still going. "My sister is so naive, sometimes I wish she would find out about you, even at the cost of her heart. You shit on her so much!" "What's it to you bitch? You're alone, no man would have you. If anything is a shame, it's your strict rules on character, this pipedream you hold for the perfect man." "Listen to you, you're so empty Dick, you can't even say no to a piece of ass!" She laughs and that is what sets me off. I feel like Rex did at the bar, this rage inside of me wanting to grab this hahahaha and slap the piss out of her. I never expect her to do what she does next. She just reaches out and rubs my cock, the friction of the denim has me erect in no time. "So have you proved your point?" I ask her. She just unzips my pants and lowers them, begins sucking my cock while rubbing my balls. I lean her back and take off her pants, her pussy is shaven and whatever thoughts I had of stopping this debacle, just ended when I see those pink lips. I start licking her twat until I can hear her talking shit. "She always bragged about how good you were at this." I begin sticking fingers inside, flipping the keys as I call it. Putting in one finger, pulling out and putting a different one in. I put in two, putting a slight bend in one, going in and out, hitting angles while licking her clit at the same time. It wasn't long till I made her cum. She had her juices running down the crack of her ass, I stick my tongue in there and she has a look of surprise on her face. She trying to categorize this morally but she doesn't have any intentions of this stopping soon. I rise up and pull her legs up in the air, begin fucking her like the bitch I hate so much. Slamming it home while holding her knees together, I consider this revenge for all the bitching and the sticking of her nose in my marriage. I slow down to catch my breath and that's when she pulls my arm and my body follows. She pulls me in close and I begin fucking her missionary on this putrid colored couch of hers. Slowly and passionate like I used to do with the old lady. I looked in her eyes and I felt drawn into her. The rythym of our bodies synched strangely and it compelled me to begin caressing her all over. I seen places of beauty on her I wouldn't have hit with a ten foot poll yesterday. I can feel her tightening her vaginal muscles around my cock, a random thought of seduction wisps through my mind. I see her lips open up and I kiss her as I cum inside her. That passion that drawn me in with such force turned quickly cold and fear gripped her like a domestic animal thrown in the wild. She pushed me aside and locked herself in her room. Driving home I wonder if this is the day my life goes to pure shit. "Boy Dick, your old cock may have guaranteed you a noose." I thought as I pull into the driveway. I shower off and guilt for once has it's grip firm on my cods. I go to bed and the old lady is rubbing me, trying to give me hints into giving her the gutwrench. I roll over and bury my head under the pillow. I hear the old lady chatting up a storm. I get up and see what is the matter and I can see Paige, the sister-in-law just a talking. She is sipping coffee and bragging to the old lady on how I saved her at Mayfords. My ass is drawn up in a knot as I walk awkwardly to the coffeepot. "Oh, let me pour you a cup." Paige says, fucking my head up even more. I just sit there and sip my coffee in silence while watching cartoons. Bluto is beating the shit out of Popeye and I can't even fucking manufacture a damn smile. The old lady runs off to the laundry room to put a load in the dryer. Paige walks in and makes eye contact with me. I just look down like a stupid kid who just got caught by the teacher masterbating in class. "How did you sleep last night Dick?" "Terrible" I answered. "Just what is it you want from me, Paige?" "I slept like a baby." she replies. Walks back in the kitchen to grab her purse. She yells at the old lady. "I got to go sis, I'll call you later tonight." She walks by me brushing the top of my head with her hand. It's about as disturbing as her usual complaining but much sharper. She smirks to me as she exits my door. I look at her ass on the way out. Damn it looks so sweet!

08-28-2003, 07:55 PM	#36
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	haha was that the only time u fucked her? did she ever tell on you? that goes to prove girls always want the guy they cant have. __________________ I host with Vacares

08-28-2003, 08:02 PM	#37
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	taking rock money from a crackhoe is just wrong!

08-28-2003, 08:10 PM	#38
VanHeusen Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 536	funny stuff __________________ XXXClusivePorn $1 per email

08-28-2003, 08:21 PM	#39
Feivel Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: in a house Posts: 1,203	post a pic of her __________________ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

08-28-2003, 08:38 PM	#41
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	evildick, I can't believe I read that whole goddamn story! Nice. Got any more? __________________ icq:159548293

10-20-2003, 02:26 PM	#43
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	evildick, that was excellent

10-20-2003, 04:21 PM	#45
JDog Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canby, OR Posts: 7,453	Hey, that was a contract, you can't take the money back! jDoG __________________ NSCash now powering ReelProfits.com ALSO FEATURING: NSCash.com :: SoloDollars.com :: ReelProfits.com :: BiminiBucks.com :: VOD PROGRAMS COMING SOON: Greedy Bucks :: Vengeance Cash NOW OFFERING OVER 60 SITES CONTACT :: JAMES SMITH :: CHIEF TECHNOLOGY OFFICER :: ICQ (711385133)

10-20-2003, 04:24 PM	#46
hyatla Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,720	I thought you are going to talk about our governator. I heard he once fucked a whore, then when she asked for her money, he said, 'you should pay me'. I heard this from npr. __________________ <a href="http://click.dtiserv2.com/Click/1125-99-us979" target="_blank">DTI cash: Top Asian Sponsor, $75 to new affiliates</a><br> <br> ICQ: 274731765

10-20-2003, 04:26 PM	#47
Buff GFY Assassin Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,993	True story: I lost my virginity to a girl over the summer, but she lives in Niagra Falls, so you'll never be able to verify it.

10-20-2003, 04:45 PM	#49
Pad elephants dont swat flies Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,262	that's very funny just last night she paid me 10 dollars to let her suck my dick! __________________