hybrid

By Ash Karbasfrooshan

Money; power; respect. How many times have you heard these three terms, be it in business, sports or entertainment? The fact of the matter is that a lot of young men strive to be rich, powerful and respected, but fail to realize one golden rule: money can evaporate, respect is relative, but power is unflinching.

what is power?

Power is not in itself an absolute matter. Power is the ability to affect the behavior of other people. It can be a function of one's position or of one's personality. There are four forms of position and personal power.

position power

A professor has legitimate power by virtue of controlling your grade; a parent has the power of reward by dangling a carrot before a child's eyes; a judge has coercive power; and finally, a witness has information power because what he knows is valuable to others. As you can see, these forms of power derive from one's position.

Once you remove the person from the position, their power -- or at least a large amount of it -- goes with it. Admittedly, this person may still hold information power because of their experience, but their inability to exert the power makes them quite ineffectual, because, by definition, it is the act of exerting power that makes someone powerful.

personal power

Conversely, power can stem from one's personality. One can hold rational power by being a good debater; a specialist has expert power thanks to their knowledge; some people are simply well-liked because of their friendly manner and courteous personality, these people are said to hold referent power; and finally, some have power by virtue of their charisma.

Clearly, there are many forms of power. Ideally, one is powerful because their personality puts them in a position of power. In this case, one is a force to be reckoned with. Many leaders have lost their position of power because of their weak personalities; Nicholas II, the last czar of Russia being one example that comes to mind.

If you are reading this and feel that you have a strong enough personality, bear in mind that that in itself is not enough. After all, some may be tremendously charismatic, but their foolish ways hold them back in life. Others may be well-liked, but they are not respected. Ah yes, respect.

Learn how to become respected...

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Respect is perhaps the most priceless of the three. Priceless because it takes years, if not a full lifetime, to gain respect, but like trust, it can evaporate on the turn of a dime. Bear in mind that unlike power, where one can enter a room and immediately exert power by virtue of their position or personality, few people are instantly respected. Conversely, many can be immediately disrespected because of how they act or what they say. The old adage about only having one chance to make a first impression will always hold true.

Another interesting dynamic of respect is that oftentimes, people grudgingly show respect. For instance, although you may hate the police officer who is giving you a ticket, you know that it is in your best interest to show him respect.

Respect is relative in the sense that an environmentalist may severely dislike and disrespect an oil executive, while shareholders revere him for his business skills. Respect is also relative because, much in the same way that someone can be liked by some and disliked by others, many are both respected and disrespected, depending on who you ask.

Note, once again, that unlike respect, power is fairly absolute. You are either powerful or you are not.

show me the money

So, where does money enter the equation? The only thing you need to know about money is that you should seek to make enough to meet your needs, because you will always have wants that you will not be able to satisfy. Unfortunately, in most cultures, especially fast-paced ones where things can change on any given day, respect is partially measured in currency.

For this reason, while younger, idealistic individuals may show some unease around money, as they mature and become realistic and develop a thicker skin, they should acknowledge that money is in fact the measure of many things. Not ideal, and definitely problematic, but hey, a pat on the back will not pay for the utilities and your car will not run on praise alone.

Of course, for the money-hungry crowd, the opposite also holds true: money alone will never solve everything. Only with a healthy mix of respect, praise and financial compensation will employees be content.

fame vs. success

There is one final caveat when it comes to the money, power and respect question: should one be more concerned with fame or success? My advice is to pursue success, because that is how your dreams come true. Fame, on the other hand, especially when combined with money, is a recipe for disaster. Pursuing fame is only positive if one needs to be relatively famous to gain the power and respect they deserve, or feel they deserve. Either way, never underestimate the power of anonymity. You have been warned.

Success, respect and power; I'll take these any day. Because once these goals have been reached, the money and fame -- should you want them -- are never far behind.