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Old 07-29-2003, 10:31 AM   #1
KRL
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What's the current way of things on this issue with young couples?

I got a younger friend of mine that called me today with a girlfriend problem.

They both work. He's in corporate sales. She's a teacher. They've been seeing each other for about a year. Usually he pays when they go out to eat, but often they'll split the tab. She gave him the "I don't think its right that you still let me pickup half the tab" speech yesterday and they got into a big fight over it and she hung up on him.

I would never have a girl pay the bill or even half the bill. I told him that the guy should always pay, but he said I was old fashioned and its not like that anymore and a lot of young couples split restaurant bills down the middle nowadays, even after going out for a while. He also just took her on a cruise and had her chip in for it.

What are your thoughts?
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:33 AM   #2
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I'd rather pay it myself. BUT, as a part of "equal rights", she should pay half the tab as well, and even buy dinners.

Oh, and your friend didn't "take her on a cruise". They went on one together.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:33 AM   #3
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I always pay , but as long as my women pay with a nice gobble and gooch tickle
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:33 AM   #4
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my girl's a baller, and she knows im paying for college and everything without help from my parents, so a lot of times, despite what i tell her, she'll pick up the whole tab
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:34 AM   #5
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splitting the tab is pretty tacky. I think a better way is like "i'll pick up the tab for dinner if you treat me to the movie" or something.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:36 AM   #6
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Originally posted by rooster
splitting the tab is pretty tacky. I think a better way is like "i'll pick up the tab for dinner if you treat me to the movie" or something.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:40 AM   #7
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i also agree with that
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:42 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by KRL
I got a younger friend of mine that called me today with a girlfriend problem.

They both work. He's in corporate sales. She's a teacher. They've been seeing each other for about a year. Usually he pays when they go out to eat, but often they'll split the tab. She gave him the "I don't think its right that you still let me pickup half the tab" speech yesterday and they got into a big fight over it and she hung up on him.

I would never have a girl pay the bill or even half the bill. I told him that the guy should always pay, but he said I was old fashioned and its not like that anymore and a lot of young couples split restaurant bills down the middle nowadays, even after going out for a while. He also just took her on a cruise and had her chip in for it.

What are your thoughts?
I normally pay for everything, too.

But some chick starting a fight because for a year she's paid part of the tab some of the time sounds like a pain in the ass.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:54 AM   #9
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make the bitch pay for her food, especially if she orders a big deal and doesnt eat any of it.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:57 AM   #10
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it depends how hot she is
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:58 AM   #11
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Whoever is holding the most cash, buys the beer.

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Old 07-29-2003, 10:58 AM   #12
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If you've been together for a year I don't see what the big deal is. You pay for one, she pays for the next one??

DH
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:59 AM   #13
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What are your thoughts?
That this is probably the last message board in the world for seeking advice on dating. That is like asking a blind person to teach you to drive.

Oh and tell your "friend" to stop being such a schmuck and let the bitch hang up on him. Big deal she'll call back.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:00 AM   #14
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Whoever is holding the most cash, buys the beer.

see what i gotta deal with?

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Old 07-29-2003, 11:02 AM   #15
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well, i would assume he makes more money, so she might have given that speech because she was tight on money, like most teachers are.

Sometimes I pay, sometimes he pays and sometimes we split it...

make the decision before you get to the restaurant, or they'll spoil a good meal with a fight
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:03 AM   #16
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You should always pay.... i meen think of what you are saving.. maby what 30 bucks or so.. come on.. its worth just spending a little extra money.. so you dont look like a cheap bastard
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:03 AM   #17
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tell him to bail out now...if she is freaking out about something as stupid as this just imagin what is down the road. Run for the hills
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:04 AM   #18
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for me i guess it depends on the girl. like, when we go out to dinner, or just go grab some grub, generally one of us pays. generally switch it up, if one of us doesn't have any cash, the other pays, or if it's just grub sometimes we both pay, whatever. it varies, and stays fairly even, although i generally pay for the nice "dinners out" and stuff.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:04 AM   #19
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BTW..i always pay for everything, but i have been with my wife for 8 years, so "we" pay for everything, both checks go into the same account
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:05 AM   #20
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women have been saying that equal rights bullshit for years, when it affects something where they have to use their loot they are hestistant,

but even without that i think there is no prob splitting on a tab from here to there, if u dont have a cheap hoe or a money grinder there should be no argument.

my guess is cheap hoe money grinder.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:05 AM   #21
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:07 AM   #22
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Originally posted by KRL
I got a younger friend of mine that called me today with a girlfriend problem.

They both work. He's in corporate sales. She's a teacher. They've been seeing each other for about a year. Usually he pays when they go out to eat, but often they'll split the tab. She gave him the "I don't think its right that you still let me pickup half the tab" speech yesterday and they got into a big fight over it and she hung up on him.

I would never have a girl pay the bill or even half the bill. I told him that the guy should always pay, but he said I was old fashioned and its not like that anymore and a lot of young couples split restaurant bills down the middle nowadays, even after going out for a while. He also just took her on a cruise and had her chip in for it.

What are your thoughts?
I'd be embarrassed if she even thought there was a chance of her paying half. Your younger friend is wrong (the proof is her hanging up on him)
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:07 AM   #23
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guys should always pay.

pay for dinner and get dessert for free if you know what i mean.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:08 AM   #24
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For the last year or so I have been dating one girl on a very regular basis. What I have seen is this:

When she offers to take me out, she orders a normal meal and drinks water with lemon and a diet pepsi. When she knows that I am going to pay, which is usually the case, she will order more expensive meals and anywhere from 1 to 4 drinks on some occasions. She has NEVER ordered a drink when she intended to pick up the tab.

I have seen this happen time and time again. Not just with this girl but with many others over the years.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:08 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by 12clicks

I'd be embarrassed if she even thought there was a chance of her paying half. Your younger friend is wrong (the proof is her hanging up on him)
u dont get many women liking u unless u buy them things.

see u seem to be one of those guys women love to use then fuck the black guy while u r at work.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:10 AM   #26
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I've had just one girlfriend (she is my wife since last month) and I paid all and everything since I was 16.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:10 AM   #27
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i dont even hold the door for women any more, unless their hot of course. Women burnt their bras in the 60's and demanded to be treated equal.
paying for dinner is like oral sex, you may not always want to give it, but you always want to receive it for nothing.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:10 AM   #28
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Oh, and your friend didn't "take her on a cruise". They went on one together.
Exactly...

I'd talk to her too, cause you know you're not getting the full story from your friend...

like, maybe he pays for the not so expensive dinners while she pays once in a while for the $$$$$ dinners...
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:11 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by AaronM
For the last year or so I have been dating one girl on a very regular basis. What I have seen is this:

When she offers to take me out, she orders a normal meal and drinks water with lemon and a diet pepsi. When she knows that I am going to pay, which is usually the case, she will order more expensive meals and anywhere from 1 to 4 drinks on some occasions. She has NEVER ordered a drink when she intended to pick up the tab.

I have seen this happen time and time again. Not just with this girl but with many others over the years.
When someone buys me dinner I do the exact opposite. Maybe it's a guy thing, or maybe it's just me. I have no idea.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:13 AM   #30
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u dont get many women liking u unless u buy them things.

see u seem to be one of those guys women love to use then fuck the black guy while u r at work.
sure kid. you've got it all figured out. just like the internet.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:15 AM   #31
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sure kid. you've got it all figured out. just like the internet.
please.

kiss me now u r just so darn intelligent!
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:15 AM   #32
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u dont get many women liking u unless u buy them things.

see u seem to be one of those guys women love to use then fuck the black guy while u r at work.

haha, I'd rather stay in bed all day and fuck than get presents...
but that seems to be hard for some guys to understand...

KRL: maybe that night she was under the impression that he was paying for it...
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:15 AM   #33
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I am a female (25yrs) and I don't mind paying for myself at all. Actually I always insist on paying half, and I don't say it to be polite, I really mean it. I don't need for a guy to buy me stuff and pay for me, I work, and I am perfectly capable paying on my own. Ideally I would pay half of the time, and the guy the other half. It should be 50/50

I would never let a guy pay for me all the time. They are going to think they get sex or something or that they should "get some" just because they paid, or that I would have to be extra nice to them just before they paid. I am not a gold digger, I can provide for myself just fine. I don't need a guy to buy ANYTHING for me.

My ex used to be mad at me because of this. He was embarasse because a long time ago, I insisted for paying for my own ticket at the movie theater, and he was embarrassed because I did it in front of the cashier. I don't know wtf he needs to be embarassed about. Fuck, at least I'm independent, if he wants to be with a fucken gold digger, fine whatever! This happened years ago, and he still talks about it to this day!!! I must have insulted his manhood or something, but get over it!!

Trust me, if you pay, the guy might think he's entitled to sex or something, they think they are all that just because they paid. Money is power. If I'm with a guy, it's to have a good time, I don't expect them to pay for me, I wouldn't want them too. I don't need a man to pay for anything for me, I can pay for myself.

Last edited by phogirl69; 07-29-2003 at 11:19 AM..
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:16 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by KRL
I got a younger friend of mine that called me today with a girlfriend problem.

They both work. He's in corporate sales. She's a teacher. They've been seeing each other for about a year. Usually he pays when they go out to eat, but often they'll split the tab. She gave him the "I don't think its right that you still let me pickup half the tab" speech yesterday and they got into a big fight over it and she hung up on him.

I would never have a girl pay the bill or even half the bill. I told him that the guy should always pay, but he said I was old fashioned and its not like that anymore and a lot of young couples split restaurant bills down the middle nowadays, even after going out for a while. He also just took her on a cruise and had her chip in for it.

What are your thoughts?


It's SOOO old fashion it's not even funny. My last two girlfriends have made more money than me, often they picked up the WHOLE tab. It's not about being polite or doing the 'guy thing,' when you are in a relationship the money shouldn't be an issue. Whoever has it shouldn't feel bad spending it, who ever doesn't shouldn't feel bad taking it, and if you both have it you shouldn't feel bad spliting it,

just my opinion.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:46 AM   #35
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Originally posted by phogirl69
I am a female (25yrs) and I don't mind paying for myself at all. Actually I always insist on paying half, and I don't say it to be polite, I really mean it. I don't need for a guy to buy me stuff and pay for me, I work, and I am perfectly capable paying on my own. Ideally I would pay half of the time, and the guy the other half. It should be 50/50

I would never let a guy pay for me all the time. They are going to think they get sex or something or that they should "get some" just because they paid, or that I would have to be extra nice to them just before they paid. I am not a gold digger, I can provide for myself just fine. I don't need a guy to buy ANYTHING for me.

My ex used to be mad at me because of this. He was embarasse because a long time ago, I insisted for paying for my own ticket at the movie theater, and he was embarrassed because I did it in front of the cashier. I don't know wtf he needs to be embarassed about. Fuck, at least I'm independent, if he wants to be with a fucken gold digger, fine whatever! This happened years ago, and he still talks about it to this day!!! I must have insulted his manhood or something, but get over it!!

Trust me, if you pay, the guy might think he's entitled to sex or something, they think they are all that just because they paid. Money is power. If I'm with a guy, it's to have a good time, I don't expect them to pay for me, I wouldn't want them too. I don't need a man to pay for anything for me, I can pay for myself.
Uh, I pay all the time because thats just how I am.
I also expect sex all the time because thats just how I am.
one has nothing to do with the other.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:48 AM   #36
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It's SOOO old fashion it's not even funny. My last two girlfriends have made more money than me, often they picked up the WHOLE tab. It's not about being polite or doing the 'guy thing,' when you are in a relationship the money shouldn't be an issue. Whoever has it shouldn't feel bad spending it, who ever doesn't shouldn't feel bad taking it, and if you both have it you shouldn't feel bad spliting it,

just my opinion.
If you're a guy and you don't have it, you should feel bad.

just my opinion
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:55 AM   #37
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u dont get many women liking u unless u buy them things.

see u seem to be one of those guys women love to use then fuck the black guy while u r at work.
LMFAO!

Ain't this the truth. Reminds me of a video I shot 2 days ago.

Check it out.


BTW...Both people are available for exclusive work.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:55 AM   #38
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haha, I'd rather stay in bed all day and fuck than get presents...
but that seems to be hard for some guys to understand...

KRL: maybe that night she was under the impression that he was paying for it...
I got more on the story now. Her mother was there too and he didn't offer to pay for the mom so the mom forked in for her share.

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Old 07-29-2003, 11:56 AM   #39
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I totally agree with the people who said the person who makes more money should pay (as long as the other person isn't just taking advantage of it, ordering expensive stuff, blah blah blah).

If they're in a relationship and she's a TEACHER he's a bastard to expect her to pay. If the careers were reversed then SHE should pay. If he doesn't think it's fair to pay all the time, then they shouldn't go out. If she doesn't like that then they should break up.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:56 AM   #40
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Originally posted by phogirl69
I am a female (25yrs) and I don't mind paying for myself at all. Actually I always insist on paying half, and I don't say it to be polite, I really mean it. I don't need for a guy to buy me stuff and pay for me, I work, and I am perfectly capable paying on my own. Ideally I would pay half of the time, and the guy the other half. It should be 50/50

I would never let a guy pay for me all the time. They are going to think they get sex or something or that they should "get some" just because they paid, or that I would have to be extra nice to them just before they paid. I am not a gold digger, I can provide for myself just fine. I don't need a guy to buy ANYTHING for me.

My ex used to be mad at me because of this. He was embarasse because a long time ago, I insisted for paying for my own ticket at the movie theater, and he was embarrassed because I did it in front of the cashier. I don't know wtf he needs to be embarassed about. Fuck, at least I'm independent, if he wants to be with a fucken gold digger, fine whatever! This happened years ago, and he still talks about it to this day!!! I must have insulted his manhood or something, but get over it!!

Trust me, if you pay, the guy might think he's entitled to sex or something, they think they are all that just because they paid. Money is power. If I'm with a guy, it's to have a good time, I don't expect them to pay for me, I wouldn't want them too. I don't need a man to pay for anything for me, I can pay for myself.
Wow, interesting post. You sound seriously independent.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:57 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by KRL


I got more on the story now. Her mother was there too and he didn't offer to pay for the mom so the mom forked in for her share.

Wow -- he must be a complete dumb-ass!
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:58 AM   #42
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women want everything equal, so they say. yet they still want the little things that make them feel like women. i'll be a gent and pick up the tab most of the time, however the longer you get into a relationship, the more casual things become and who picks up the tab doesn't really matter in my opinion. tho unless ive forgotten my wallet, i don't see myself letting her pick the whole thing up herself.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:59 AM   #43
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Everyone I know splits it down the middle. If he picks up the tab tonight, she'll pick it up tomorrow. It's just fair that way. THe only exception is if they have joint bank accounts.
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:00 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by BlackCrayon
women want everything equal, so they say. yet they still want the little things that make them feel like women. i'll be a gent and pick up the tab most of the time, however the longer you get into a relationship, the more casual things become and who picks up the tab doesn't really matter in my opinion. tho unless ive forgotten my wallet, i don't see myself letting her pick the whole thing up herself.
That's pretty much how I see things too.
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:01 PM   #45
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if they arn't married and she's putting out that night he should pay.

if she's on the rag or won't be fuckign him that night for one reason or another she should be paying half or all of the bill. why the fuck should he have to listen to her crap if she's not going to be putting out?
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:06 PM   #46
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Me and my woman switch off, if I buy the dinner and a movie one night, she'll pick it up the next time, we've never even had a discussion about it, we just fell into it like that.
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:08 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nutella
guys should always pay.

pay for dinner and get dessert for free if you know what i mean.
Interesting. This implies that the woman doesn't WANT to have sex after the date. But she'll be willing to part with it for a little bit since he bought the meal.

What if the woman wants the sex and the guy just wants to watch a movie after the meal? Should she pick up the tab, then?

Or are we so old fashioned that we don't believe in the female orgasm?
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:13 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally posted by Elli


Interesting. This implies that the woman doesn't WANT to have sex after the date. But she'll be willing to part with it for a little bit since he bought the meal.

What if the woman wants the sex and the guy just wants to watch a movie after the meal? Should she pick up the tab, then?

Or are we so old fashioned that we don't believe in the female orgasm?
name me ONE guy that doesn't want to have sex after a DATE.

ONE


JUST ONE
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:18 PM   #49
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i always have the chick chip in on something during our date for the reason that i make more money than any of the guys they previously dated and i want to make sure thats not the reason she even goes out with me lol...
probably dumb... but its the truth :P
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:25 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally posted by johnny5
i always have the chick chip in on something during our date for the reason that i make more money than any of the guys they previously dated and i want to make sure thats not the reason she even goes out with me lol...
probably dumb... but its the truth :P
That is another reason why I like to pay for myself, so the guy can know that I really like him and want to spend time with him, not use him for $$$. But my ex had such a big ego because he said I "made a scene in public" and embarassed him by paying in front of everyone. What a loser
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