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Old 07-18-2003, 09:00 AM   #1
Donny
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We attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head!

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Q: Good night, Daddy.
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:02 AM   #2
KRL
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Yep and North Korea or Iran are next in line it appears.

They found enriched weapons grade Uranium traces in Iranian soil today.
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:13 AM   #3
Donny
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Quote:
Originally posted by KRL
Yep and North Korea or Iran are next in line it appears.

They found enriched weapons grade Uranium traces in Iranian soil today.
And to think, it was just a very short time ago when I was voting Republican.
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:19 AM   #4
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Entertaining read
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:28 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Undutchable
Entertaining read
i agree
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:35 AM   #6
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good..
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:51 AM   #7
spam4spam
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Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Don't fuck with the jews and there is no problem.



Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: Israel already taken them out one time, they did it again.


Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: No, inspections are a waste of time and the UN profits off of it. We don't need to play follow the UN all day.



Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: It doesn't matter.


Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To send the jews into the red sea. If you have a problem with us supporting the jews, take your fight to us.




Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Obviously, they had no chance to use them. We kicked the shit out of them on the first couple of days. More than likely their plan was to fight like pussies and hide behind civilians. But they've done this for hundreds of years son. They shouldn't act like they are not used to fighting.





Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.



I LEFT HIS ANSWER TO SHOW HOW FUCKING STUPID HE IS.





Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Tell that to the shiites in the south son. Let them tell you the stories. Let's not forget to mention the mass graves found in Iraq. It's a shame that this can go on in Iraq and not in KOSOVO. It's a shame that we had bill clinton as our commander.

Q: And what was that?
A: That's the same thing you did.. There is no difference between you too. War mongers both of you. We have to bring up haiti son. Let us not forget Somalia. Why did we go back in? I could have sworn we pulled out.


Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Son.......All people like this need to be taken out. Especially Fidel castro.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.


HIS ANSWER.

My reply: Chinese Govt sets the wages my friend. Maybe you need to look at who controls the money in China. They're fucking communist you shithead. Communism means everyone works for the Govt and all the funds are given to the Govt.




Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Son, you should have put more pressure on China when you had a chance. NATO is there for a reason.


Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

^You left out killed.




Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: People who want to be free in China are killed. Son, read about Tiananmen Square massacre. It's a shame that they were ran over by a tank. It was done by their own Govt. What a joke. Fuck China



Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: China has brains. They know we'll nuke them when they nuke us. Iraq could have done it as an act of terror. Could you imagine a nuke going off in Kuwait City? How many arabs would die? Kuwaiti's love us son, we'll protect them from anyone who tries to fuck with them.



Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

^HIS ANSWER.
My reply: Don't point nukes at us ever again or I'll take your leader out. I look like a spic, I can go there.




Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.




I'm not doing the rest.
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:55 AM   #8
wargames
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Its all the coke he snorted
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Old 07-18-2003, 11:07 AM   #9
cherrylula
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Quote:
Originally posted by KRL
Yep and North Korea or Iran are next in line it appears.

They found enriched weapons grade Uranium traces in Iranian soil today.
i was just reading about that...

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansas...ws/6334163.htm

"ElBaradei (director-general of the International Atomic Energy Agency) pressed Iran for "substantial progress without delay" in clarifying aspects of its nuclear program and in signing an agreement that would let U.N. inspectors conduct in-depth and comprehensive checks of Tehran's nuclear facilities."

here we go again.

(edit)and this:

"The head of the U.N.'s energy agency has denied reports that inspectors found enriched uranium in samples taken recently in Iran, calling it "pure speculation at this stage.""

wtf? someone claims to have found uranium in iran, but its just speculation? where do they get this info, fucking clownshoes!!!!!
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Old 07-18-2003, 11:17 AM   #10
Donny
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For the record, I have mixed feelings on the war in Iraq. I think Sadaam needed to be removed from power for his horrible crimes, but I think it should have been done the first time. But since it wasn't, our government made up an excuse to take him out.

I like honesty. Instead of making up Weapons of Mass Destruction, we simply should have said "We're tired of Sadaam's shit and are going to remove him and his bastard sons whether the rest of you like it or not... HURRAY! Free oil for us!"

See? Honesty is always better!
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