This a good intro chapter? - GoFuckYourself.com

arial · 06-19-2003, 03:56 PM

What's up all, I'm writing a fake story for my site to add a bit more of entertainment. It's based in my city (El Paso, Tx) just wondering if any of you think this is a good intro to a 18 chapter story?

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Life In a Box
The Trace Williams Story

Chapter 1 (Intro)

I think to myself now and wonder why did I ever choose to accept that ride from Mason? I didn?t know what he really was. I never knew he wasn?t human but something else covered in flesh. It?s dark now I see nothing but feel the pain from my finger nails being torn off from my last attempts to set myself free from this very box of darkness.

I wonder how I left my parents feeling, my brother Chris and my best friend who is like my brother. I feel tears coming on but I try to hold them back, cause I don?t want to let Mason get the best of me. I don?t want him to know that he has won. I write him letters, very scary ones. As I review them I seemed to have actually taken a bizarre liking to Mason. I?ve seen deep down inside of him, and he?s just a lonely man. He took me for company, but felt his doing wrong but had too much pride to stop what he had begun. So he furthers his mysterious practices he experiments on me.

He sometimes cries late at night as he begs me for forgiveness for what the fate of my life, which is in his hands, he holds. I look back on these past 18 days I?ve spent with Mason. Yet I still find myself trapped inside this cold dark box.

PimpRoll · 06-19-2003, 06:30 PM

not bad

arial · 06-20-2003, 02:13 AM

Thanks, the story is not anything near happy.

neighborhood_bob · 06-20-2003, 07:29 AM

Please don't finish it by having Trace accept the situation and
fall in love with Mason. The thought that a person should have
sympathy and empathy for an abductor is disgusting, and degrading
to both men and women. Mason should be put out of his misery
in the most painful and violent way possible . Anyone who has
been held against their will would agree...

06-19-2003, 03:56 PM	#1
arial Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bay Area Posts: 4,012	This a good intro chapter? What's up all, I'm writing a fake story for my site to add a bit more of entertainment. It's based in my city (El Paso, Tx) just wondering if any of you think this is a good intro to a 18 chapter story? --------------------------------------- Life In a Box The Trace Williams Story Chapter 1 (Intro) I think to myself now and wonder why did I ever choose to accept that ride from Mason? I didn?t know what he really was. I never knew he wasn?t human but something else covered in flesh. It?s dark now I see nothing but feel the pain from my finger nails being torn off from my last attempts to set myself free from this very box of darkness. I wonder how I left my parents feeling, my brother Chris and my best friend who is like my brother. I feel tears coming on but I try to hold them back, cause I don?t want to let Mason get the best of me. I don?t want him to know that he has won. I write him letters, very scary ones. As I review them I seemed to have actually taken a bizarre liking to Mason. I?ve seen deep down inside of him, and he?s just a lonely man. He took me for company, but felt his doing wrong but had too much pride to stop what he had begun. So he furthers his mysterious practices he experiments on me. He sometimes cries late at night as he begs me for forgiveness for what the fate of my life, which is in his hands, he holds. I look back on these past 18 days I?ve spent with Mason. Yet I still find myself trapped inside this cold dark box.

06-19-2003, 06:30 PM	#2
PimpRoll Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: PimpRoll Posts: 1,053	not bad __________________ www.PimpRoll.com - $35-$40 per Trial Join - Weekly Payouts Over 200+ Sites to Promote in 30 Niches - Free Hosting

06-20-2003, 02:13 AM	#3
arial Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bay Area Posts: 4,012	Thanks, the story is not anything near happy.

06-20-2003, 07:29 AM	#4
neighborhood_bob Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 83	Please don't finish it by having Trace accept the situation and fall in love with Mason. The thought that a person should have sympathy and empathy for an abductor is disgusting, and degrading to both men and women. Mason should be put out of his misery in the most painful and violent way possible . Anyone who has been held against their will would agree...