Seriously though, I often find your contribution to political threads amusing in an ironic way. :winkwink:




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:1orglaugh

The Complete Military History of France

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

I'll withdraw the clueless and call it misinformed :thumbsup

The whole French surrendering thing is really played out.

Where's that timeline graphic?

A panel of nine medical experts commissioned by the Pentagon is expected to say that 53.9 per cent of US military personnel over the age of 20 would be classified as too fat to fight under federal obesity standards. :1orglaugh


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...484127,00.html

First the US is impossible to stop because of all of its satellite nations and because of its powers both politically and militarily. The US could easily stomp on any foreign country. Also get a great deal on hosting contact me at XFR Networks.

It's only playout till the next opportunity presents itself :glugglug

You have put things in the right perspective...although I beleive that the US would ultimately defeat the combined Armies of Europe...but occupation of Europe is a totally different story. No country of any significant size and population can be successfully occupied, for an extended period of time, without the overwhelming majority approval of the population. As for invading and occupying the US...the combined militaries of the world do not have the ability to successfully accomplish this.

Lest anyone forget the US put 16 million people in uniform during the 2nd World War with less than half the current population and a fraction of the GNP. The US should be able to triple that if push came to shove.

As to the reference that was made to Vietnam...Vietnam was a political war...micro mananged by politicians...and was a political defeat...not a military defeat.

Yes, one would assume there is an advantage to all parties involved.

I must admit that this childish and useless threads about "my usa pennis is larger than your european one and my european nuts are bigger than your usa ones" are allways a good chance to fight for the free DVD, smart move DarkJedi :winkwink:

Semper Fe.

Great thread title too. Flawlessly conceived.

I'm game. What's myth #2?

Stop showing off.

:1orglaugh sure, fighting in the jungle would have been a walk in the park if it wasnt for those damn politicians!! :1orglaugh

WHatever will make you feel better man! sleep thight :thumbsup

I dont need the dVD - I already got 1.
Its just the fact that USA (and its sitizens) act like they own the whole world - that gets on my nerves. USA is going down anyway. Look at the US Dollar - it's already in the shitter. And Europe are growing stronger everyday.

Oh yeah, and Marines are indeed a formidable foe:

US Marine tears up the hahahaha of a Japanese woman

Jungle fighting is not a walk in the park...but then again any combat is not exactly a walk in the park. Read some history about the Vietnam war...it was not a military defeat in any sense of the word.

We do own the whole world in the sense that we are the only country on earth that can project our military might into any country on this earth...no other country can match our capability to do this.

Fact #1: Your a moron.

Weak pussies? Who was scared of Stalin in 1945? Roosevelt! Only one of your generals -Patton - was a strong brave motherfucker. Roosevelt sold all the Central and Eastern Europe to Soviets. I am from Poland so don't tell me that Poland (which is in Europe) was a bunch of weak pussies. get real, man! I am totally pro-US, just fucking hate if anyone calls Poland weak. Europe is not a country so you can't say it's weak or strong. Some countries behave in various ways in various times.

You crack me up.

I'd hate to see you project your military might into Russia or China. Pretty good chance it would be the end of the planet.

You can't even project your military might into N.Korea and they only have one nuke. I hear the wheel fell off that too.

Roosevelt wasn't scared of Stalin you dolt.
(Remember he had a tiny project going on in the background of WII--and didn't care about the Soviets spying on it for the most part).

He and Churchill felt Stalin would want to be "one of the club." So Roosevelt was willing to GIVE Stalin a seat at the table since the Russians had such MASSIVE losses in WWII.

A lot of Euro countries truly felt SORRY for Russia, and were equally grateful for their scarifice.

Now, Stalin FUCKED that all up trying to create a communist empire and seeking punative damages against Germany and other euro countries. Initially the U.S. didn't care...but Truman yeah...the considered bombing them.

The world would hate to see it...and if Nukes came into play it may, or may not, mean the end of the world...the science about that subject is controversial.

The fact remains that we can project our military into Russia or China and they do not have the capability to project their military into the USA.

In addition Russia as a military power...other than its possession of a large number of ICBMs armed with nukes...is washed up. Its Army is underpaid and infrequently paid...it is under trained...its equipment is not on a par to ours its...morale is almost zero...and many of its troops are literally tending to their gardens and livestock in order to eat. Its Airforce is virtually idle as it has been scavenged for parts. The bulk of its Navy sits rusting in port.

China...other than its possesion of a hand full of ICBMs armed with nukes...is about twenty years behind in military technology.

North Korea will either be talked down or taken down. The USA will not allow North Korea to build a nuclear arsenal or develop ICBM's.

Lets lay it out, not only did the USA save Europe?s ass in WWI and WWII but also rebuilt the mother fucking cotenant and established the economy through the US dollar as well as in Japan and the USA held the entire Pacific rim from Australia to Southern China and Alaska. Americans have fought and led in more sustained engagements in the past 20 years then most of Europe have in 100 years. And for those who wanna talk tough never served with the US Marine Corps, British Royal Marines or the Korean ROK Marines. These guys kick ass globally. Lastly, not many people know this but the US Marine Corps alone was designed since the 1970's to be able to fight a prolonged campaign in 2 hemispheres at the same time. So to answer the age old question yes we could invade Europe and hold territory with no real problem. The French and Germans can go and do what they do best, and suck a dick, sell weapons and passports to enemies of the United States. :BangBang: Of course that?s just my opinion I could be wrong.

PS.
What the fuck does Semper Fe mean?

Has me wondering too...unless he meant to say Semper Fi (Semper Fidelis" (Ever Faithful) ).

Hell yeah they would

We shouldnt be mad at the French. We should have expected them not to help us get Saddam out of Iraq, hell they didnt even help us get the Germans out France

Funny.

You Europeans are the ones complaining about the currency rate exchange. lol

Take an economics class dummy.

The US dollar is down. What does that mean. hmmmmm....

I know, US products are cheaper to buy. lol

Pay attention once in a while, you may learn something.

US unemployment is a 6.1% I don't know where you're from but I'd guess it's at least twice that.

I'm glad you're happy that the Euro is high, no one will be importing your goods when it's valued by the Euro right now. As a matter of fact, the UK is very happy that they didn't participate in the failed euro currency. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

You're stupid posts are still the same after my one month vacation. What an asshole.

You were saying?

I think you slew the DarkJedi. :)

theking,
These assholes just don't change.

It's really funny though. As long as you don't take the idiots seriously that is.

:thumbsup

Btw: I hope you're feeling well :winkwink:

i am amazed to see that even the europeans that post here are ignoring the simple fact THERE IS NO SUCH THING CALLED EUROPE. unlike the USA, Europe may only seem from the outside to be "one country" or "one being". in reality it is far from that. for instance, to take over some parts of Europe you don't need to send troops. example? take a chicken shit country like Belgium. just wave the Nazi flag and you will find most people lining up behind you. take France for instance, just declare it a jew-free zone and you will be voted in office in seconds. take Germany, just form the "i hate america" party - and you will take the elections by a landslide. the UK doesn't need to be invaded (nor Spain or Italy) because they already belong to the US - which leaves us with the rest of Europe which can be taken easily: tell their citizens "free green cards" and they will vacum out clean in minutes.

the only reason the US doesn't invade Europe is, who the fuck needs Europe? the place is full of fags, morons, racists and self hating SOBs. with the sole exception of Holland - Europe is not worth the time to invade.

Correction: US is still getting their ass handed to them by a 3rd world country with 40 y.o military hardware

They can't even handle Iraq and unlike Europe, Iraq doesn't have any nukes, nor planes nor half-decent conventional weapons :)

Invading a country is no easy task.

so i was reading this thread then i see amputate your head and i was like wtf. look at the date and its a year old.

sigh

did you know that this was th 2 thousandth view in this tread ?:Graucho

did you know that this was th 2 thousandth view in this tread ?:Graucho

did you know that this was th 2 thousandth view in this tread ?:Graucho

change your fucking half-page-add banner :ak47:

the EU would kick them back over the sea... :2 cents:

umm, fact #1 that redneck Americans conveniently forget: All of the US would be a fucking British colony if it weren't for France. Americans OWE THEIR COUNTRY TO THE FRENCH.

Everyone's a history expert when it's their country that helped another, but very forgetful when it's the other way around. And you know what, it's fucking hilarious because it's 100% true. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

http://statue-of-liberty.visit-new-y...-Liberty-3.jpg

A Gift from the People of France

Bring on the chickenhawks :-)

wrong, they'd be speaking Russian.

:1orglaugh

The Russian military machine was very similar in WW2 after Stalin had purged huge amounts of commanding officers. When your motherland is being invaded people will fight to the very end. There are lessons that could be learnt today from Stalingrad.

american superiority ? gimme a break :)

see them suckas run here !


http://64.224.245.33/